Why do narcissists need to control people?

The narcissist feels a compelling need to control people in his (or her) environment; his spouse, work mates, friends and neighbors. It's because in his mind he doesn't feel in control. It is abuse, which is often long-term. There are many people stuck in long-term abusive relationships.
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Do narcissists like to control others?

Narcissists are self-obsessed and control others for their personal gain; they're notorious for using a few specific tactics for getting and maintaining this control. First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery.
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Do narcissists always need to be in control?

Entitlement. Narcissists have an extraordinary need to control others to maintain their own self-image. Subsequently, they also devalue people as a way to enhance their feelings about themselves. Narcissists also believe they deserve special recognition for their superior talents, intelligence, or personality.
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Why do narcissists manipulate people?

They want to control and manipulate other people to get this sense of supremacy, whether it's at work, in a romantic relationship, or within a family. Narcissists simultaneously loathe others and crave their attention.
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Do narcissists know they are controlling?

Narcissists systematically minimize anything that makes them look or feel bad. They make excuses for their bad behavior by blaming others. They may deny outright that they have done anything destructive. Narcissists know that minimizing and stonewalling is hard for others to fight.
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Why some narcissists feel the need to control everything



What happens when a narcissist knows you figured them out?

When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
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What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:
  1. Lack of Attention.
  2. Doing something they don't like.
  3. Losing.
  4. Logic and Facts.
  5. Boundaries.
  6. Critical Thinking.
  7. Spontaneous Behavior.
  8. Someone else's Success.
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What weird things do narcissists do?

One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
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How do narcissists treat their children?

A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
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What happens when a narcissist is exposed?

They will reveal your secrets to garner attention or sympathy from other people. They will try to manipulate the story to make you look like you're in the wrong. Beware of aggressive Narcissists and the possibility of Narcissistic Rage that might be unleashed on you. Narcissists may also play the victim.
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Why does the narcissist want to destroy you?

They want to see how much they can destroy you

They simply move on and do it to someone else, because that's the way they entertain themselves. "It's more like entertainment and control to be able to take someone who had this really great life and be part of watching them fall," Thomas said.
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How are narcissists with money?

They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
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How do narcissists treat their friends?

Typically, the narcissistic cycle involves over-valuing people whom they refer to as friends (as they are considered potential sources of Supply), using them, devaluing them (when the friends no longer are a good source of Supply), and then inexplicably discarding them.
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How do you stop a narcissist from controlling you?

10 Tips for Dealing with a Narcissistic Personality
  1. Accept them.
  2. Break the spell.
  3. Speak up.
  4. Set boundaries.
  5. Expect pushback.
  6. Remember the truth.
  7. Find support.
  8. Demand action.
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Who do narcissists target?

There are four types of people who narcissists tend to be attracted to, according to Arluck: People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.
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What should you not tell a narcissist?

Here are 10 “don'ts” for dealing with narcissists:
  • Don't give them ammunition. ...
  • Don't take them at face value. ...
  • Don't try to justify or explain yourself. ...
  • Don't minimize their outrageous behavior. ...
  • Don't expect them to own their part. ...
  • Don't try to beat them at their own game. ...
  • Don't expect loyalty.
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What phrases do narcissists use?

In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like:

"You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else." "It's fate that we met."
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What do narcissists say to get you back?

Another strategy used by the narcissist to “get back” is to start blaming the other partner for incidentals but over and over again. They might say, “You're holding me back,” for example, when they seek constant activity with no downtime.
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How do you humiliate a narcissist?

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.
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What makes a narcissist angry?

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage

They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions.
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What to say to a narcissist to shut them down?

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  • 1. “ ...
  • “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  • “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  • “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  • “Everything Is Okay” ...
  • “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  • “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  • “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”
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What does a narcissist think when you ignore him?

Most narcissists will not readily change their behavior once you ignore them. They might make half-hearted attempts to “get better,” but they often abandon these efforts once they can refuel their narcissistic supply. This pattern often leads you to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry.
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Does a narcissist ever let go of a victim?

Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.
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Will a narcissist ever regret losing you?

Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Come to terms with the fact that you can't make them feel a certain way. Push yourself to move on because the narcissist won't miss you—they'll miss whatever they were getting from you. Unfortunately, people with NPD can't give genuine love.
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