Why do hurt people hurt people?

“Hurt people hurt people” is more than a clever phrase; it's a sad truth. Hurt people hurt others because they themselves have been hurt. And each one of us has been hurt to one degree or another. As that damage causes us to become defensive and self-protective, we may lash out at others.
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What does it mean that hurt people hurt people?

The truth is that hurt people, tend to hurt people. This phrase means that often bullies are individuals who themselves have undergone or are currently enduring some form of emotional or physical pain.
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Why do people hurt people's feelings?

For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.
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How do you stay strong when someone hurts you?

They will help you develop some new techniques and keep you from reacting to new hurts in old ways.
  1. Recognize the offense for what it is. ...
  2. Resist the tendency to defend your position. ...
  3. Give up the need to be right. ...
  4. Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. ...
  5. Respond, don't react.
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What causes a person to be intentionally cruel?

Humans are emotional and want to share their emotions with others, be them good like love, or not so good, such as hatred and anger. She also believes that desperation causes people to make cruel decisions. She believes that a human can only hold onto so many negative emotions before they must be released.
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Do you buy the saying "hurt people hurt people"?



Where did hurt people hurt people come from?

Hurt people hurt people. This statement been ascribed to pastor Rick Warren, minister Will Bowen, and rabbi Yehuda Berg who are all bestselling authors.
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What happens if we hurt others?

When you wound another person, emotionally or physically, you feel wounded as well. It has been reported that hurting others may lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt and agitation within us. We are social animals after all and have an innate need to care about others. So, hurting others hurts us too.
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What to say to someone who has hurt you deeply?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”
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How do you let go of hurt?

How to Let Go of Things from the Past
  1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. ...
  2. Create physical distance. ...
  3. Do your own work. ...
  4. Practice mindfulness. ...
  5. Be gentle with yourself. ...
  6. Allow the negative emotions to flow. ...
  7. Accept that the other person may not apologize. ...
  8. Engage in self-care.
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Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic.
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Is it correct to hurt people hurt people?

“Hurt people hurt people” is more than a clever phrase; it's a sad truth. Hurt people hurt others because they themselves have been hurt. And each one of us has been hurt to one degree or another. As that damage causes us to become defensive and self-protective, we may lash out at others.
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Why do people hurt others in relationships?

They enjoy inflicting pain on others.

Inflicting pain on you may be a distraction from their own pain, a way of "getting even" for things which have happened to them and a way to feel something deeply in a way which makes sense to them, given their past experiences.
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Who Said Hurting people hurt others?

Indeed, the aphorism has been attributed to everyone from bestselling rabbi Yehuda Berg and evangelical megachurch pastor Rick Warren to actor and two-time Spider-Man Andrew Garfield.
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What to do when you're hurting inside?

Nine Ways to Cope with Emotional Pain
  1. Find a New Hobby. ...
  2. Move Your Body. ...
  3. Don't Ruminate. ...
  4. Stop Telling the Story. ...
  5. Start Keeping a Journal. ...
  6. Cry. ...
  7. Open Yourself to Others, Let Them In. ...
  8. Make a List of What You're Thankful For.
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What do you call a person who wants to hurt others?

sadist Add to list Share. A sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain on others, sometimes in a sexual sense. Sadists like seeing other people hurt. A sadist is the opposite of a masochist, who enjoys being in pain. A sadist is all about hurting others, usually to get off sexually.
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What does the Bible say when you hurt someone?

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
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Can you love someone and still hurt you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
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How do you forgive someone who keeps hurting you?

Here are 10 helpful steps to forgive someone who keeps hurting:
  1. Move Away From The Past. ...
  2. Reconnect With Yourself. ...
  3. Avoid Going To Sleep Angry. ...
  4. Stop Blaming Others. ...
  5. Avoid Trying To Control People. ...
  6. Learn The Art of Letting Go. ...
  7. Aim To Be Kind Instead of Being Right. ...
  8. Embrace The Dark Times.
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Why do I miss people who hurt me?

The ultimate fundamental reason why we miss someone or something is that once it made us feel good. Our brain functions in a very different way than we might assume. Its job is to keep you safe and happy at this particular moment. That is all it does.
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Should you be friends with someone who hurt you?

If someone is hurting you too much, don't even try to be there for him or her. True friends and healthy relationships should never be one-sided or compromise the integrity of your well-being.
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What is a toxic friendship?

“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
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How do you deal with someone who wronged you?

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged You
  1. Why Forgiveness Is Essential to Your Well-Being.
  2. Take Some Time and Identify How You Feel.
  3. Put Yourself In Their Position.
  4. Put Your Feelings Down on Paper.
  5. Remember That Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Reconciliation.
  6. Focus on the Present.
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When should you cut a friend off?

  1. The friendship is consistently one-sided. ...
  2. They betray your trust. ...
  3. They don't keep your secrets. ...
  4. They are overly negative and pessimistic. ...
  5. You have little or nothing to talk about. ...
  6. They create or attract drama. ...
  7. They are passive-aggressive when you say "no" to them. ...
  8. They dismiss it when you raise a concern.
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Why do we like hurting people us?

You may create an attraction to people that resemble them in some way or make you feel the way that they made you feel. More often than not, our trauma bonds are related to unresolved aspects of our relationships with our parents, ways that we didn't feel acknowledged or validated.
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Why do I love someone who treated me badly?

We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.
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