What do avoidant adults generally want?

Highly self-sufficient.
This is the #1 characteristic of someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style. They don't want to depend on you and they don't want you to depend on them. They want their freedom and independence and want (or at least think that they want) you to be the same way.
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What are Avoidants attracted to?

The Love Avoidant. Characteristics of The Love Avoidant: Love Addicts are attracted to people with certain identifiable and fairly predictable characteristics, and people with these characteristics are attracted to Love Addicts in return.
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What does a dismissive avoidant want?

People with a dismissive avoidant attachment style are often described as lacking the desire to form or maintain social bonds, and they don't seem to value close relationships. These people report, for example, that they are comfortable without close emotional relationships and prefer not to depend on others.
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What does an avoidant need in a relationship?

An avoidant partner needs to trust that you're there for them without being overly clingy. They also tend to watch behaviors intently to believe that. So, doing things together to create positive feelings will build trust over time.
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How do you make an avoidant feel loved?

18 Ways to Increase Intimacy and Communication with an Avoidant Partner
  1. 1) Dont chase. ...
  2. 2) Dont take it personally. ...
  3. 3) Ask for what you want rather than complaining about what you dont want. ...
  4. 4) Reinforce positive actions. ...
  5. 5) Offer understanding. ...
  6. 6) Be reliable and dependable. ...
  7. 7) Respect your differences.
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How to Cope With an Avoidant Partner



How do you tell if an avoidant loves you?

12 Signs to check if an avoidant loves you
  1. They are ready to become vulnerable.
  2. They love your nonverbal PDAs.
  3. They display nonverbal communication.
  4. They encourage you to get personal space.
  5. They make an effort to connect with you.
  6. They listen to you.
  7. They make the first move in a relationship.
  8. They want to get intimate.
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Do Avoidants want you to chase them?

It is possible for avoidants to chase the people that they're romantically interested in. But, it isn't easy. Love is unavoidable, even for an individual with an avoidant (whether an anxious-avoidant or a dismissive-avoidant) style.
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What makes an avoidant commit?

They have an "avoidant" attachment style.

Usually, this kind of defense mechanism comes from a childhood trauma of abandonment and it means that relationships are unpredictable and temporary. An avoidant partner won't be able to commit in the long run because they simply can't maintain relationships for that long.
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What makes an avoidant return?

The value and time and space can only be effective in getting your avoidant ex to miss you if they are given enough time. At this point, you may be wondering: will an avoidant miss you? The thing is, when you're patient enough to give them a lot of time and space, they will initially get back to their everyday life.
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How does an avoidant show love?

Avoidant individuals are known for hiding behind a wall of intimacy, which is why they act stoic and devoid of emotion. They think that if you take a peek into their lives, you'll crush them in the end. If an avoidant loves you, he'll let a layer or two drops so that you can get a glimpse of his true self.
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What to do when an avoidant pushes you away?

If you're being pushed away
  1. Ask how you can support them. Maybe they need a little more communication, or a little more physical reassurance (like a kiss, embrace, or casual touch) to feel more secure with you. ...
  2. Avoid over-reassurance. ...
  3. Cultivate patience.
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Does no contact work on avoidant?

Remember that both avoidant and anxious people can be included in the no-contact rule. It works no matter the attachment style. There is nothing that proves otherwise.
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Why do Avoidants ignore you?

If your boyfriend ignores you or gives you the silent treatment and has an avoidant or anxious-avoidant attachment style, he's likely pulling away because he feels himself getting closer to you and is afraid of that commitment. Think about this; before he started ignoring you, was the relationship progressing quickly?
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Why do Avoidants pull away?

Avoidant attachment style usually prefer independence to intimacy. They tend to pull away when they feel they are too close for comfort. Unfortunately, avoidant attachment style tends to be more plentiful in the dating pool. It is estimated they are 25% of the population.
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Why are avoidant partners attracted to anxious?

Liberated from their anxiety around engulfment, the avoidant partner gives free expression to love; liberated from their fear of abandonment, the anxious one is left feeling secure and trusting.
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Are Avoidants afraid of commitment?

Most of the time, fear of commitment stems from the avoidant attachment style. A person with an avoidant attachment style tends to avoid intimacy, pulls away when people get close, is uncomfortable when others come close to them or with sharing emotions and deep thoughts.
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How do I date an avoidant man?

Here are some tips on how to date, and love an avoidant type:
  1. Communicate with words, not tantrums.
  2. Practice patience when he pushes you away.
  3. Look at his intentions.
  4. Support, Not Fix.
  5. Avoidants need and want love, just as much as you do.
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Do Avoidants play games?

In an attempt to alleviate the anxiety, they sometimes play games in their relationship to get attention. They may act out, try to make their partner jealous, or withdraw and stop answering texts or calls. Unfortunately, this makes them an attractive match for the avoidant people.
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How do you make someone avoidant chase you?

Let them know you value independence and alone time so they don't feel like they're letting you down by focusing on their interests and careers. Accepting their difficult needs is a surefire way to make them want to be with you more. Barrages of texts or frequent requests for attention might overwhelm an avoidant.
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Will avoidant come back?

We have found that on average a fearful avoidant will not initiate a reconnection with you. However, there is a window of time where they do consider it and if you time it right you can get them to come back if that's what you want.
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What are Avoidants afraid of?

Characteristics of Someone Who is Love Avoidant

They're afraid of commitment, whether it be to a relationship, a weekend away, or any activity which could lead to a more intense feeling of bonding or closeness. They're suspicious of others, finding it difficult to build trusting feelings or a relationship.
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Do Avoidants feel guilty?

The guilt factor can be big on the avoidant side. It's often connected with people pleasing, avoiding conflict, and/or over-empathizing with his abandonment. Many people embedded in insecure attachment (at either extreme) struggle with balancing the needs of self and other.
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Can an avoidant and anxious relationship work?

This relationship can work, if both sides: Take ownership for their own attachment needs and strategies. Take responsibility for the ongoing work of both self-growth and relationship growth.
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Do avoidant attachments feel love?

Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold. People who have this attachment style are less likely to fall in love, and they don't seem to believe in 'happily ever after'. They fear intimacy and tend to be less involved in relationships.
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