Should I forgive my ex for hurting me?

After a divorce, forgiving your ex is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Sometimes forgiveness is hard, especially in a difficult divorce. But, forgiving your ex is really more for you than for your ex. Forgiveness releases you to move on and build a new life.
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How do I forgive my ex that hurt me?

7 steps to forgiving your ex:
  1. Write down three ways your hurt feelings have impacted (or are still impacting) your life. ...
  2. Find a way to dislodge yourself from negative emotions. ...
  3. Take small steps to let go of grudges or grievances. ...
  4. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict or dispute. ...
  5. Don't let wounds fester.
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Should I forgive my ex and get back together?

Never go back to a partner who has consistently proven they are unfaithful. There are individuals who don't care to be faithful, and value their temporal pleasure over your well-being. This dispositional trait rarely changes. Therefore, you should never get back together if your ex is a serial cheater.
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How do I forgive my ex after a break up?

  1. First: Embrace the suck, but don't get stuck there. ...
  2. Meditate. ...
  3. Acknowledge that forgiveness is not condoning. ...
  4. Write a letter you never intend to send. ...
  5. Or place a photograph of the person you want to forgive, or move past, somewhere you'll see every day. ...
  6. You can even visualize the person at your dinner table. ...
  7. READ MORE:
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Can you forgive someone who hurt you deeply?

Talk to the person about what went wrong

It's really hard to forgive someone who hurt you emotionally if they don't understand the hurt they caused. Before you can really forgive, it's important to try to talk with the person about what went wrong.
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When should you not forgive someone?

25 reasons when it's okay not to forgive someone
  • Lies. Lying breaks down trust, something that takes significant time and effort to rebuild if you're able to reestablish it. ...
  • Distance. ...
  • Criticize. ...
  • Broken heart. ...
  • Changes. ...
  • Past. ...
  • Character. ...
  • Betrayal.
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How do you forget someone who hurts you emotionally?

5 Ways to Let Go of Past Hurts
  1. Make the decision to let it go. Things don't disappear on their own. ...
  2. Express your pain — and your responsibility. ...
  3. Stop being the victim and blaming others. ...
  4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy. ...
  5. Forgive them — and yourself.
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Should I tell my ex how much he hurt me?

Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.
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What should you not forgive in a relationship?

Constant Lying

This can tie into cheating, but also just lying in general. If your partner keeps lying to you, he or she can't be trusted, and it's a level of disrespect and shadiness that might not be forgiven in a relationship, says Ziegler.
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How do you act around an ex who hurt you?

How to Act Around Your Ex
  1. Stay calm when you see your ex.
  2. Walk and talk with confidence.
  3. Dress to impress.
  4. Be polite.
  5. Make casual small talk.
  6. Be yourself.
  7. Keep your first few conversations short.
  8. Go to social events like you always do.
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When should I give up on my ex?

Let's do a quick recap of the 5 situations to look out for to tell when it's time to give up trying to get your ex back:
  1. Your ex has not responded to your last five attempts to start a conversation.
  2. They've been with someone new for longer than 8 months.
  3. You've been on a “hard block” for longer than 3 months.
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Should you never go back to your ex?

It can get emotionally abusive

It could result in your partner taking you for granted and putting you through the same emotional distress knowing fully well that you will come back to them. This is clearly a form of emotional abuse that you need to cut out of your life.
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How do you know if you should forgive your ex?

If you're debating whether or not you should give your relationship another try, here are six reasons to first consider before getting back together.
  1. You've had time apart. ...
  2. Change is possible. ...
  3. Your loved ones approve. ...
  4. You want the same things. ...
  5. You felt loved. ...
  6. You're ready to forgive.
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Why is my ex so bitter?

A bitter ex is often out for revenge. But instead of directly affecting the person, some may want their former beaus to feel guilty instead. Some people do this by deliberately making their own lives difficult. They may end up doing harmful vices, such as alcohol or drugs.
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How do you know your ex isn't over you?

Signs to look out for:
  1. They're giving mixed signals. ...
  2. They blame you for the breakup. ...
  3. They're angry with you. ...
  4. They're keeping in touch with you. ...
  5. They flirt with you. ...
  6. They're bringing up memories. ...
  7. You still have some of their things. ...
  8. They're sabotaging you.
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Why do exes come back when you stop caring?

If they're feeling emotional, or going through a tough time, they can remember moments where you helped them through it together and get nostalgic. You're just a warm memory for them that they want to feel again - even if it's over.
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Should I forgive him or move on?

To know if you should forgive a guy, try asking yourself "Was I happy with our relationship before, and is it something that can make me happy again in the future?" If the answer is no, you may want to move on. Also, take into consideration whether or not you'll be able to trust him again.
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How do you love someone again after they hurt you?

Rebuilding trust when you've hurt someone
  1. Consider why you did it. Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you'll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it. ...
  2. Apologize sincerely. ...
  3. Give your partner time. ...
  4. Let their needs guide you. ...
  5. Commit to clear communication.
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Can you love someone and still hurt you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
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What do you say to someone who hurts you emotionally?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  1. “I care about you.”
  2. “I respect you.”
  3. “I want to fix our relationship.”
  4. “I want to move past this.”
  5. “I want to understand each other better.”
  6. “I want to be open with you.”
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How do I forgive my ex and move on?

5 Steps to Forgiving Your Ex
  1. Embrace positivity. Negativity makes it difficult to forgive and move on. ...
  2. Take responsibility. There were two people in your relationship, and two people in the breakup. ...
  3. Practice compassion. ...
  4. Fake it till you make it. ...
  5. Take your time to heal.
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What's the worst thing you can say to your ex boyfriend?

"Two of the worst things anyone could say to an ex is, 'I never loved you,' or, 'Our relationship was a waste of time,'" he says. "Although often spoken in anger, both statements are deeply painful for the recipient to hear."
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Should I reach out to someone who hurt me?

Reaching out might not get you what you want, and could even make you feel worse. Dr. Franco says you should ask yourself if you have the psychological wherewithal to deal with that in this moment. “If the answer is no, then I wouldn't reach out for closure at this time when you're feeling so vulnerable,” she said.
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Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic.
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Should I forgive someone who hurt me?

Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
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