Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on theatlantic.com


How does the person giving the silent treatment feel?

It can leave you feeling like you're without control. This effect may be more intense when it's done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. Here are a few signs that suggest the silent treatment is crossing the line into emotional abuse territory: It's a frequent occurrence and is lasting for longer periods.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on healthline.com


Does silent treatment hurt people?

While some people might think that being silent is taking the high road, it can actually be the worst thing you can do. It can leave significant psychological and emotional repercussions on the person at the receiving end of it. It can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of the relationship as you know it.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on relationshipsnsw.org.au


What kind of person uses the silent treatment?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com


Is silent treatment worse?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on heysigmund.com


6 Ways The Silent Treatment Is Harmful



Does silent treatment hurt a man?

1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them. Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on verywellmind.com


How do you win the silent treatment?

If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches:
  1. Name the situation. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on medicalnewstoday.com


How does a narc react when you no longer care?

Since narcissists require almost constant admiration, validation and even blind obedience in some cases – when you don't give them attention, they'll often become quite brittle – reacting in a variety of negative ways including rage, petulance, insults, and may even try to undermine you in other sectors of your life ( ...
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on upjourney.com


How does a narcissist react to no contact?

They can be moody, angry and irritable. A narcissist struggles with no in-person contact because they utilize body language to communicate, get their needs met, and maintain control. They have low self-esteem, and without validation, they can come become moody, angry, and irritable.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on upjourney.com


How do you confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment?

7 Useful Ways to Confront Someone Giving You the Silent Treatment...
  1. Question Your Own Behavior.
  2. Rehearse What You Are Going to Say.
  3. Speak in Private.
  4. Write Them a Letter/E-mail.
  5. Use Humor.
  6. Pay Attention to Your Tone.
  7. Act in a More Assertive Manner.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com


What is the psychology behind ignoring someone?

Key points. Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychologytoday.com


Is the silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on goodtherapy.org


Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique

If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on sweetyhigh.com


Why is silence so powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on hbr.org


Is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes

The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on idiva.com


How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on wikihow.com


Does a narcissist regret losing you?

Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Come to terms with the fact that you can't make them feel a certain way. Push yourself to move on because the narcissist won't miss you—they'll miss whatever they were getting from you. Unfortunately, people with NPD can't give genuine love.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on wikihow.com


How do you know if a narcissist will come back?

Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back. They will promise to change or gaslight you into believing that you are taking it too seriously or that you are too dramatic until you start feeling confused and guilty.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on kaminiwood.com


How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You
  • They show no emotion.
  • They criticize you constantly.
  • They blame you for everything.
  • They're always irritated or angry.
  • They pick fights over trivial things.
  • They take advantage of you.
  • They withhold physical affection.
  • They accuse you of cheating.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on wikihow.com


What drives a narcissist insane?

Lack of Reaction from Others. A narcissist seeks to trigger strong emotional responses from you. It doesn't even matter how you feel — love-struck, upset, or furious. They just want to feel that they are the ones that caused it.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on toxicties.com


What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on businessinsider.com


What happens when a narcissist knows you figured them out?

When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on marriage.com


How long is too long for the silent treatment?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on theatlantic.com


Why do men go silent?

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on menandrelationships.com.au
Previous question
Do cats get bipolar?