Why does someone hurt the one they love?

If you don't respect the boundaries of someone you love, such a person may be emotionally hurt. Your behavior may also lead to hurting a person you love. If your behavior is influenced by sadness, anxiety, trust issue, and grief, you may unintentionally hurt someone you love.
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Why do some people hurt the ones they love the most?

According to Brené Brown's infamous Ted Talk, shame is “the fear of disconnection”. People who carry a lot of shame think they are “unworthy of love and connection”. So, when we lash out at the people we love, it's because we fear disconnection. The more shame we carry around with us, the worse our behaviour is.
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Why would someone want to hurt someone they love?

Inflicting pain on you may be a distraction from their own pain, a way of "getting even" for things which have happened to them and a way to feel something deeply in a way which makes sense to them, given their past experiences.
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Can someone hurt you and still love you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
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What to do when you hurt the one you love?

How To Cope With Guilt When You Hurt Someone In A Relationship
  1. Sincerely Apologize.
  2. Recognize That You Can't Change What Has Already Happened.
  3. Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
  4. Work on Improving Yourself.
  5. Don't Focus Entirely on the Negative.
  6. Consider Couples Therapy.
  7. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
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7 Reasons We Hurt the Ones We Love



What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time. Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom.
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What hurts the most in a relationship?

You don't trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.
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Why does true love hurt so much?

Neuroimaging studies have shown that brain regions involved in processing physical pain overlap considerably with those tied to social anguish. The connection is so strong that traditional bodily painkillers seem capable of relieving our emotional wounds. Love may actually hurt, like hurt hurt, after all.
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Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic.
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What to say to someone who has hurt you but you still love them?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”
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What is it called when someone purposely hurts you?

Someone who gets pleasure from hurting or humiliating others is a sadist. Sadists feel other people's pain more than is normal. And they enjoy it. At least, they do until it is over, when they may feel bad. The popular imagination associates sadism with torturers and murderers.
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How do you love someone who got hurt in the past?

Let them know that you hear and understand them.
  1. Restating. This is done by paraphrasing what someone said back to them like, “so what you explained is that…”
  2. Asking questions. If something is confusing or doesn't make sense, don't be afraid to ask questions for them to elaborate.
  3. Validating. ...
  4. Silence.
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How do you trust someone again after they hurt you?

Here are some tips you can follow to help you choose to trust again after a painful experience.
  1. Embrace Vulnerability. ...
  2. Learn To Trust Yourself. ...
  3. Choose To Forgive. ...
  4. Allow Time To Grieve. ...
  5. Don't Continue To Label Yourself The Victim. ...
  6. Keep your Expectations High. ...
  7. Leave The Past Behind You. ...
  8. Consider The Alternative.
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When your partner hurt your feelings?

Try explaining the exact words they used that hurt you, but express your hurt feelings calmly rather than with anger. It's totally OK to be angry, but when communicating with your partner, it might be easier to get your message across if you can avoid lashing out at them.
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Why do people lash out?

Self-protection

Sometimes people lash out so that they can reject before they get rejected. This is a way for the person lashing out to feel safe in vulnerable situations where they feel that they might be rejected or abandoned. It is a way for the person to feel more in control, which makes them feel safer.
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How do you become strong when someone hurts you emotionally?

What To Do When Someone Hurts Your Feelings
  1. Have an Honest Conversation. One of the best things that you can do when someone hurts your feelings is to just tell them. ...
  2. Journal About It. ...
  3. Consult with Your Doctor. ...
  4. Engage in Healthy Distractions.
  5. Try Physical Exercise. ...
  6. When Hurt Feelings Won't Go Away, Talk to a Counselor.
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How do you let go of someone you love?

How to truly let go of someone you love:
  1. Make sure you're safe. ...
  2. Open up a dialogue. ...
  3. Hold your boundaries firmly. ...
  4. Be direct but also compassionate. ...
  5. Go no-contact if you can. ...
  6. Know that you're worthy of love. ...
  7. Reconnect to the other parts of your life. ...
  8. Remind yourself why it didn't work out.
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Why do you miss someone who hurt you?

The ultimate fundamental reason why we miss someone or something is that once it made us feel good. Our brain functions in a very different way than we might assume. Its job is to keep you safe and happy at this particular moment. That is all it does.
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Should I reach out to someone who hurt me?

Reaching out might not get you what you want, and could even make you feel worse. Dr. Franco says you should ask yourself if you have the psychological wherewithal to deal with that in this moment. “If the answer is no, then I wouldn't reach out for closure at this time when you're feeling so vulnerable,” she said.
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Can you love someone too much it hurts?

Well, yes. Loving someone so much that it hurts is possible, and there are reasons why people indulge in that. A major reason why people tend to be loving too much in a relationship is that they don't feel worthy.
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What is real love like?

A truly loving relationship should have communication, affection, trust, appreciation, and mutual respect. If you see these signs, and the relationship is a healthy, honest, nurturing one, you would likely consider your relationship one of true love. Another vital element of real or true love is individuality.
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How can you tell if your relationship is falling apart?

Signs Your Relationship is Falling Apart
  • There's A Total Lack Of Affection. ...
  • Terms Of Endearment Are Rarely Used. ...
  • You Cannot Share What's On Your Heart & Your Partner Isn't Being Vulnerable With You. ...
  • Poor Communication (or none at all) ...
  • You Don't Or Want To Spend Time Together. ...
  • The “Used to” Count Is Increasing.
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What are the two things that are harmful for a relationship?

The Worst Things You Can Do In A Relationship
  • Bottling Up Your Feelings. ...
  • Trying To Be A Mind Reader. ...
  • Never Talking About The Future. ...
  • Telling All Sorts Of White Lies. ...
  • Calling Your Partner Names. ...
  • Shutting Your Partner Out. ...
  • Betraying Your Partner's Trust. ...
  • Letting Them Down Constantly.
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What are the 10 habits that can destroy your relationship?

10 habits you don't realize will ruin your marriage
  • Seeking to improve. You love your partner and you chose them for a reason. ...
  • Focusing on faults. Stop listing everything you don't like in your spouse. ...
  • Avoiding contention. ...
  • Not forgiving. ...
  • Being dramatic. ...
  • Jealousy. ...
  • Half-listening. ...
  • Comparing your relationship.
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What are 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship?

Five signs of an unhealthy relationship
  • Dishonesty. Trust is the root of a thriving relationship. ...
  • Controlling behavior. MORE ON HEALTH & WELLNESS. ...
  • Avoidance. Addressing conflict head on is always nerve-wracking, and most people struggle to navigate difficult conversations. ...
  • Insecurity. ...
  • Co-dependency.
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