Why does a man shut down?

For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
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How do you respond to a guy who shuts you out?

“OK, if you tell me you're fine, I'm going to believe you but I just need you to know, that this feels different for me. It feels like something's up and I don't get it but I'm going to let it be. If you end up wanting to talk, know that I'm here. I'd really like to help.”
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What causes a person to shut down?

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common causes. Severe levels of acute elevated stress or nervousness can also trigger feelings of emotional numbness. Post-traumatic stress disorder, which can be tied to depression and anxiety, can cause you to feel numb, too. Some medications can also cause numbness.
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How do you talk to someone who shuts down?

7 Steps on How to Communicate with Someone Who Shuts Down
  1. Give them space. ...
  2. Show empathy and concern. ...
  3. Apologize, even if you've done nothing wrong. ...
  4. Express what it means to you to communicate effectively with them. ...
  5. Watch your tone of voice. ...
  6. Use humor. ...
  7. Do nothing and move on.
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Why do men withdraw?

Sometimes it has nothing to do with the relationship or you. He is just stressed – it could be work, or maybe he is having some personal issues with his family, friends or health. Sometimes, pulling away is a form of defense mechanism. His past bad experiences can make him afraid of going through heartache again.
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Understanding Men: Why Does He Shut Down? — Susan Winter



Why is he acting distant all of a sudden?

When a guy abruptly starts to distance himself, it's because his attention is being pulled away by something other than you. This might be physical or psychological, and it may or may not have anything to do with you. It could also mean the relationship is no longer as important to him as it used to be.
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Why is he suddenly distancing himself from me?

If the relationship is still in its early stages, he may not feel able or willing to confide in you. He may worry that these things would simply scare you away or make you doubt the long term prospects for the relationship. So he hides them away and distances himself a little to avoid you finding out.
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Why do men go silent?

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
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Can a guy just turn off his feelings?

Over time, men get really good at turning off their emotions or coping with their feelings in a way that is more acceptable for males. It creates a cycle of toxic masculinity, which can be hard to break once it's a habit.
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Is shutting down a trauma response?

So, you know that you go into freeze, shutdown, disconnection, dissociation, collapse or seizure as a result of Trauma.
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Is Shutting Down emotional abuse?

Those who are numb end up being hurt over and over again. If they automatically shut down emotionally after every hurt, they are doomed to a perpetual cycle of numbness, damage, and further numbness. Those who lack empathy are capable of witnessing all sorts of terrible abuse toward others and feel nothing.
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What are signs of emotional detachment?

Symptoms
  • Ambivalence toward others.
  • Avoiding people, situations, or activities.
  • Difficulty empathizing with others.
  • Difficulty opening up to other people.
  • Feeling disconnected from other people.
  • Losing interest in people and activities.
  • Losing touch with people.
  • Not paying attention to other people.
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What does shutting down emotionally look like?

It affects your confidence and self-awareness, as well as how you interact and communicate with others. You may feel numb or disembodied at times - unable to connect to your bodily sensations, express your emotions or maintain feelings of intimacy.
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How do you talk to a guy who shuts down?

What to do when someone you love shuts down
  1. take a break from, or “table” the conversation.
  2. write down your thoughts and feelings to revisit later.
  3. stay calm.
  4. don't retaliate.
  5. don't throw an adult temper tantrum.
  6. do something self-soothing.
  7. consider professional intervention.
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How do you know a guy is losing interest in you?

He makes no effort

If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.
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What do I do when he goes silent?

What To Do About Your Man's Sudden Silence
  1. Ask him what he is thinking and feeling.
  2. Give him time to share at his own pace.
  3. Avoid giving him the dreaded 'silent treatment. '
  4. Let him know how important his feelings are to you.
  5. Continue to share your feelings with him, so as to encourage him to do the same.
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How do you tell if a guy is lying about his feelings?

Here are 14 signs he's lying about what he wants that you need to watch out for.
  1. He backpedals. ...
  2. He uses weasel words. ...
  3. What he says and what he wants clearly don't match. ...
  4. His excuses are the name of the game. ...
  5. He claims he wants what you want, but occasionally makes disparaging remarks on that very same thing.
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Is he playing mind games or not interested?

But if your man likes to keep you hanging without giving any clear indication of how he feels about you, then here are some signs that he is playing mind games. Hot and cold behavior: You used to constantly text each other for days and weeks before he suddenly cut contact without any warning or reason.
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What does it mean when a man gives you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
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Why a man suddenly goes cold?

Sometimes the stress outside of your relationship becomes so overbearing that you decide you need to put things on hold to focus on it. This can lead a guy to suddenly becoming cold and distant. Make sure you pay attention to what's going on in a guys life outside of his relationship with you.
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Why is he distant after being close?

Key Pointers. Men could pull away from a relationship due to compatibility issues, lack of space or emotional connect, unrealistic expectations, or difference in opinion. Based on the reason he is pulling away, you may take an action – either talk it out, take a break, or make adjustments.
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Why do guys act cold?

He is already in a committed relationship

Talking to you or being around you makes his feelings stronger, which he knows is unfair to his relationship. To be loyal to his current partner, he prefers to act disinterested and cold; and perhaps more so to discourage himself from getting swayed by temptation.
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Why do guys stop texting and then start again?

He is seeking your attention and validation

You might be a busy bee, and probably he cannot seem to get his way to reach you. So, he wants to get your attention by making you curious about his disappearance. In most cases, this happens when the guy feels he does not have control over the relationship.
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Why is he dry texting me all of a sudden?

He might be busy, he might not like texting, or he might not be into you. Dry texting is incredibly frustrating, but try to be patient for the first couple of short texts or long response times. If he starts the conversation up again or starts sending more detailed messages, he was probably just busy.
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What do you do when your partner won't communicate?

Try being patient about his lack of communication and give him space when he does not want to communicate. You can also try being supportive and understanding. Ask to schedule a better time to talk. Finding a time both of you are comfortable could be the answer to how to communicate with a man that won't communicate.
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