Why do we hurt the ones we love?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on relationship-institute.com


Why do we always hurt the one we love meaning?

You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on youniversetherapy.com


Why do people hurt others they love?

Some people enjoy the process of hurting other people. Again, this usually stems from a deeply disturbed and potentially abusive childhood. They may be acting out things which have taken place in their own life—this time with them as the abuser—and may experience a thrill from hurting you.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychologytoday.com


Can someone hurt you and still love you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychologytoday.com


Can you intentionally hurt someone you love?

Yes, you can intentionally hurt someone you love. If you've hurt someone you love intentionally, the motive often comes from differing perspectives or the desire to exert one's independence. When we've hurt someone we love, it's important to apologize to the person you've hurt regardless of intentions.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on regain.us


7 Reasons We Hurt the Ones We Love



Why do I treat someone I love badly?

When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on mindowl.org


What is it called when you love someone so much it hurts?

That is called unrequited love—love that is not returned or rewarded. It is a one-sided experience that can leave us feeling pain, grief, and shame. You may think it would be easy to tell if love is unrequited but it isn't always clear and can cause a lot of confusion and emotional turmoil.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on verywellmind.com


How do you get over hurting someone you love?

How To Cope With Guilt When You Hurt Someone In A Relationship
  1. Sincerely Apologize.
  2. Recognize That You Can't Change What Has Already Happened.
  3. Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
  4. Work on Improving Yourself.
  5. Don't Focus Entirely on the Negative.
  6. Consider Couples Therapy.
  7. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on regain.us


What to say to someone who has hurt you but you still love them?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on hackspirit.com


Is love supposed to hurt?

Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on supportiv.com


How do you prove your love to someone you hurt?

Rebuilding trust when you've hurt someone
  1. Consider why you did it. Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you'll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it. ...
  2. Apologize sincerely. ...
  3. Give your partner time. ...
  4. Let their needs guide you. ...
  5. Commit to clear communication.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on healthline.com


Can you stop loving someone if you truly loved them?

It is possible to stop loving someone. The love, as you feel it now, will change. Different people serve different purposes in your life. You can be grateful for the time you shared with this person and deeply care about them, then also move on romantically and stop loving them in the way you once did.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on regain.us


How do you know if someone loves you still?

You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs.
  • You feel safe with them. ...
  • They listen. ...
  • They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
  • You can communicate easily. ...
  • They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
  • You trust each other. ...
  • They make an effort. ...
  • You know you can collaborate or compromise.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on healthline.com


Can you love someone too much it hurts?

Well, yes. Loving someone so much that it hurts is possible, and there are reasons why people indulge in that. A major reason why people tend to be loving too much in a relationship is that they don't feel worthy.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on marriage.com


What hurts the most in a relationship?

You don't trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on lifehack.org


Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on yahoo.com


What does true love feel like?

True love is a sense of absolute affection and warm feelings towards a person and does not get altered easily. You love a person truly when you are willing to give up your happiness for theirs, and love them for who they are, warts and all. However, the idea of true love can vary for different people.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on momjunction.com


How do you know someone is your soulmate?

20 Signs To Know If Someone Is Your Soulmate
  • You meet them at the right time. ...
  • You need not play games with them. ...
  • You get along like best friends. ...
  • You feel you can read their mind. ...
  • You have similar life goals. ...
  • You do not feel jealous. ...
  • You are comfortable with silence. ...
  • You feel what they feel.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on momjunction.com


How do you know your relationship is really over?

One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on brides.com


Can you stop loving someone and then fall back in love with them?

It's truly possible to take a turn toward getting back the love you once shared with another person. The short answer to the question of whether we can stop ourselves from falling out of love is yes. Staying in love is possible, but like most good things in life, it usually takes some effort.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychalive.org


How do you detach from someone you love deeply?

How to let go of someone you love
  1. Identify the reason. Ask yourself why you're now deciding to detach from the relationship. ...
  2. Release your emotions. ...
  3. Don't react, respond. ...
  4. Start small. ...
  5. Keep a journal. ...
  6. Meditate. ...
  7. Be patient with yourself. ...
  8. Look forward.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com


Do guys ever stop loving?

Guys don't ever completely let go of "that girl." It's not because we don't want to -- we do; we just can't seem to. This doesn't really differ between men. The only thing that differs is the level of love that one has experienced. Some guys have never even experienced love, yet are convinced they have.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on elitedaily.com


Why am I emotionally hurting so much?

Other times, it might be the result of regret, grief, or loss. In other cases, it might be the result of an underlying mental health condition such as depression or anxiety. No matter what the cause, this psychological pain can be intense and significantly affect many different areas of your life.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on verywellmind.com


Is it normal to say hurtful things in a relationship?

Most often in relationships and marriages, hurtful things are said in frustration and anger. These are entirely normal feelings to have in long term relationships.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on relationshiprescueacademy.com


How do you become strong when someone hurts you emotionally?

They will help you develop some new techniques and keep you from reacting to new hurts in old ways.
  1. Recognize the offense for what it is. ...
  2. Resist the tendency to defend your position. ...
  3. Give up the need to be right. ...
  4. Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. ...
  5. Respond, don't react.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychologytoday.com