Why do narcissists say Im sorry you feel that way?

"In all of these apologies, what you see is that they are not apologizing for something they did or said," says Durvasula. "They are in essence, though, using the apology as a way of gaslighting you and invalidating your experience: 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' meaning 'you probably shouldn't. '"
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Is it Gaslighting to say I'm sorry you feel that way?

The “I'm sorry you feel that way” approach, along with avoiding an argument in lieu of admitting fault, is good old fashioned gaslighting.
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Do narcissist mean it when they say sorry?

Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
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What does it mean when someone says Im sorry you feel that way?

“It can mean sad, in the sense that I am sad that you feel that way. Or it can mean apologetic, which can imply that I am apologizing for something I said or did that resulted in your feelings being hurt,” Dr.
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What does a narcissist apology look like?

Instead, the typical narcissistic apology involves a reparative gesture that they think the other person will like. Depending on the people involved, this can involve anything from buying expensive jewelry to inviting their mother-in-law to dinner.
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3 NARCISSIST APOLOGY TYPES WITH EXAMPLES: And Why You Shouldn't Trust Any of Them!



How do you respond to an apology from a narcissist?

How to Respond to a Narcissist's Apology
  1. 1 Recognize the signs of a bad apology.
  2. 2 Ask them if they can see your perspective.
  3. 3 Communicate your boundaries clearly.
  4. 4 Let them know you're disappointed in them.
  5. 5 Tell them you won't accept an apology at the moment.
  6. 6 Keep yourself safe from an outburst.
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What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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How do you respond to sorry you feel that way?

First (for anyone down the back), actually say sorry. Second, validate and acknowledge (for example, "I see why you'd be upset by that"). Third, take ownership, and finally, ask how you can move forward – maybe you can compromise and do something different next time.
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Why you should never say I'm sorry you feel that way?

For example, saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" to someone who has been offended by a statement is a non-apology apology. It does not admit there was anything wrong with the remarks made, and may imply the person took offense for hypersensitive or irrational reasons.
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What will a narcissist say to get you back?

Another strategy used by the narcissist to “get back” is to start blaming the other partner for incidentals but over and over again. They might say, “You're holding me back,” for example, when they seek constant activity with no downtime.
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How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.
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How does a narcissist manipulate you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
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How does a gaslighter apologize?

Gaslighters are masters of the "conditional apology." You know, when someone says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." That's not an apology; the other person is not taking responsibility for his behavior. He's simply manipulating you into feeling seen by acknowledging your feelings.
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What are some gaslighting phrases?

Below are some common gaslighting phrases, as highlighted by Durvasula.
  • Stop being so sensitive.
  • That never happened.
  • Your mind seems off, you need help.
  • Why can't you take a joke?
  • Why are you always so angry?
  • Why can't you let go of the past?
  • Stop exaggerating it wasn't that bad.
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How do you destroy a gaslighter?

The best way to destroy a gaslighter is to appear emotionless. They enjoy getting a rise out of you, so it's frustrating to them when they don't get the reaction they expected. When they realize you don't care anymore, they will likely try convincing you they'll change, but don't fall for it.
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What is a manipulative apology?

A phrase designed to elicit an apology from the other party, whereby the original apologizer can deflect full responsibility to that other person; usually said in a hostile or sarcastic tone and often followed by an explicit or implicit “…but this is really your fault”
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What is a passive-aggressive apology?

Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. This is a passive-aggressive apology done to silence the other person and move onto a different topic. It minimizes what the other person has experienced. Im sorry but But is a qualifier. If a person cannot say sorry without adding a but, then they are not sorry.
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Does a narcissist regret losing you?

Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Come to terms with the fact that you can't make them feel a certain way. Push yourself to move on because the narcissist won't miss you—they'll miss whatever they were getting from you. Unfortunately, people with NPD can't give genuine love.
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How does a narcissist feel when you go no contact while they are doing the same to you?

They can be moody, angry and irritable

A narcissist struggles with no in-person contact because they utilize body language to communicate, get their needs met, and maintain control. They have low self-esteem, and without validation, they can come become moody, angry, and irritable.
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When the narcissist knows you have figured him out?

2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.
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How does a narcissist act when they are mad?

Someone experiencing narcissistic rage may feel that someone else or an event in their life is threatening or may injure their self-esteem or self-worth. They may act and feel grandiose and superior to others.
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What happens when a narcissist is mad at you?

The rage associated with a narcissistic injury ranges from mild irritation to outright physical attacks. Some narcissists will gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault, or collapse. Depending on the severity of the injury, others may be physically aggressive, becoming incredibly dangerous.
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Will a narcissist ever miss you?

The answer can also be no in that a true narcissist doesn't really miss you as a person; they miss how you made them feel. You were a source of narcissistic supply and provided them with positive feelings.
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What is a good example of gaslighting?

Gaslighting happens when an abuser tries to control a victim by twisting their sense of reality. An example of gaslighting would be a partner doing something abusive and then denying it happened. Gaslighters may also convince their victims that they're mentally unfit or too sensitive.
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Do gaslighters ever apologize?

“A gaslighter will often make you beg for their forgiveness and apologize profusely for any 'wrong' you committed, even if it's something they did,” Stern says. Sometimes you may not even know what you're apologizing for, other than they're upset and it's your responsibility to calm them down.
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