Why do narcissists abuse those they love?

They lack “whole object relations” and “object constancy.”
One of the main reasons that people abuse others whom they profess to love is that they lack whole object relations and object constancy.
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Why do narcissists hurt people they love?

"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."
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Why do narcissists want to abuse you?

“While the behaviors that constitute narcissistic abuse appear to be motivated by a desire to hurt, degrade, and destabilize the target of the abuse…the abuser's primary focus is on themselves and their desperate need to avoid engaging with their own painful emotions,” explains Tanya.
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Why do narcissists become violent?

"They're entitled, they feel superior, they think they're worth more than others," Kjærvik explains. "But at the same time, if you have shame there, or threaten this insulated ego that they have, they tend to get more aggressive because they're trying to protect that ego.
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How do you stop a narcissist from abusing you?

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
  1. Work through denial, guilt and shame.
  2. Process the grief of ending the relationship.
  3. Challenge your negative thoughts and feelings.
  4. Deal with depression, anxiety, or other mental health symptoms.
  5. Reclaim your identity.
  6. Forgive yourself.
  7. Understand your feelings.
  8. Build new coping skills.
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WHY DO NARCISSISTS HURT THE ONES THEY LOVE? #narcissism



How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.
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Can a narcissist be faithful?

Loyal. Narcissists require loyalty. That being said, the loyalty is only one way. Many narcissists demand loyalty from their partners, while hypocritically betraying the relationship themselves; sometimes by even cheating on their partners, with no remorse.
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What irritates a narcissist the most?

Narcissists love attention, validation, and power. So what drives a narcissist crazy? Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than by giving them nothing at all.
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What happens when you stop reacting to a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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What happens when you chase a narcissist?

Once you let your guard down, the narcissist strikes

They'll start pulling away from the relationship to test your reaction. They'll start twisting the truth and blaming you for their problems. They'll invalidate your emotions over and over again until you doubt your own thoughts.
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What turns a narcissist off?

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to not engage with them at all and to go no contact. People that are narcissistic want things from you – they want your attention and your emotional reaction.
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Does a narcissist know they are abusive?

They Are Aware of Some Behaviors

It would be unwise to assume that narcissists don't know their own behavior. In short, most do, especially as they get older. They likely know when they're being deceitful, manipulative, abusive, and love-bombing people.
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What type of person do narcissists seek?

One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.
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Does a narcissist regret losing you?

Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret. Come to terms with the fact that you can't make them feel a certain way. Push yourself to move on because the narcissist won't miss you—they'll miss whatever they were getting from you. Unfortunately, people with NPD can't give genuine love.
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What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship?

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
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When the narcissist knows you have them figured out?

2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.
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How does a narcissist feel when you go no contact while they are doing the same to you?

They can be moody, angry and irritable

A narcissist struggles with no in-person contact because they utilize body language to communicate, get their needs met, and maintain control. They have low self-esteem, and without validation, they can come become moody, angry, and irritable.
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How long will a narcissist stalk you?

Stalkers often exhibit narcissistic behavior — a tendency to control everyone in their lives, and particularly their victims. The behavior can even go on for years. Do you think it is possible for someone to stalk you for 18 years? One Reddit user has had this particular problem.
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How does a narcissist feel when you don't react?

When you don't respond, when you don't react in that way, when you don't perform in the way they want, when you don't agree with them or do something that they find agreeable, whatever opinion that is that doesn't conform to them, a narcissist will take that as criticism. The normal person won't.
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How do you humiliate a narcissist?

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.
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How do you make a narcissist addicted to you?

How to Make a Narcissist Addicted to You
  1. Ignore them sometimes.
  2. Be confident.
  3. Hang out with your friends a lot.
  4. Be hot and cold with them.
  5. Change your plans at the last minute.
  6. Be dramatic.
  7. Encourage them to change.
  8. Make them dependent on you.
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How do you outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
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How narcissists treat their wives?

Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner.
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What is the narcissist afraid of?

Narcissists are terrified of being alone, and their greatest fear is abandonment. Setting clear boundaries or not reacting to their chaotic manipulation will cause them to become afraid of losing you even though they may never admit it.
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What kind of woman does a narcissist marry?

A narcissistic man is attracted to someone who looks beautiful and accomplished—not because they like that person, but because her appearance and accomplishments fuel his ego. However, a narcissist also wants a woman who isn't too confident because he wants to run the show.
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