Why do I still love the person who hurt me?

Another reason people stay in hurtful relationships is our belief in what we call “unconditional love.” People often ask what unconditional love means, unsure whether we still have to love someone if they hurt us because we can't attach conditions to love—such as refusing to tolerate abuse.
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Can you still love someone who hurt you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
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Why do I still love someone who treated me badly?

We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.
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Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?

It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There's also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It's easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it's toxic.
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Why do I miss the person who hurt me?

The ultimate fundamental reason why we miss someone or something is that once it made us feel good. Our brain functions in a very different way than we might assume. Its job is to keep you safe and happy at this particular moment. That is all it does.
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Mom makes me wear a mask 24/7 to protect my beauty



How do you stop thinking about someone who hurt you?

Here are 14 tips for how to stop thinking about someone:
  1. Don't Make Contact. Many times, people want to “remain friends” after a breakup. ...
  2. Stop Looking at Their Social Media. ...
  3. Turn to Your Support System. ...
  4. Focus on Self-Acceptance. ...
  5. Love Yourself. ...
  6. Allow Yourself to the Pain You Feel. ...
  7. Be Yourself. ...
  8. Practice Mindfulness.
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Can someone ever stop loving you?

It is possible to stop loving someone. The love, as you feel it now, will change. Different people serve different purposes in your life. You can be grateful for the time you shared with this person and deeply care about them, then also move on romantically and stop loving them in the way you once did.
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How do you get over someone who hurts you emotionally?

Tips for letting go
  1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. ...
  2. Create physical distance. ...
  3. Do your own work. ...
  4. Practice mindfulness. ...
  5. Be gentle with yourself. ...
  6. Allow the negative emotions to flow. ...
  7. Accept that the other person may not apologize. ...
  8. Engage in self-care.
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Should I stay friends with someone who hurt me?

True friends and healthy relationships should never be one-sided or compromise the integrity of your well-being. If you see that a situation is toxic and you wind up being the one who keeps getting hurt, you should definitely close the door to that situation completely.
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What to say to someone who has hurt you but you still love them?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”
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Why do I still have strong feelings for my ex?

After a breakup, it is normal to have feelings for an ex still. Most likely, you've shared many intimate moments and memories. It's completely normal to love an ex still, especially if it is true love. After a time, that love can fade, especially if you meet someone new and you're falling in love again.
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How do you move on from someone who treated you badly?

  1. Take Time To Process The Relationship. Once you've identified what behaviors felt "bad" in your relationship, it's important to remember that it didn't work out for a reason, and that moving forward without this person is actually better for you in the long run. ...
  2. Take Care Of Yourself. ...
  3. Take Them Out Of Your Life Equation.
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Should I reach out to someone who hurt me?

Reaching out might not get you what you want, and could even make you feel worse. Dr. Franco says you should ask yourself if you have the psychological wherewithal to deal with that in this moment. “If the answer is no, then I wouldn't reach out for closure at this time when you're feeling so vulnerable,” she said.
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How can I stop loving feelings?

So, if you are in this situation use these 10 ways to avoid falling in love if you surely know it's wrong for you.
  1. Don't be a stalker. ...
  2. Don't be a people pleaser. ...
  3. Distract Yourself. ...
  4. Don't get too friendly. ...
  5. The bad side. ...
  6. Avoid getting physically intimate. ...
  7. Focus on someone else. ...
  8. Distance yourself from them.
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How do you stop loving someone who broke your heart?

How to Get Over a Broken Heart, According to Psychologists
  1. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. ...
  2. But don't become your feelings. ...
  3. Cut off communication with your ex. ...
  4. Find a support system. ...
  5. Exercise. ...
  6. Remember what sucked. ...
  7. Take care of yourself. ...
  8. Don't judge the length of your healing process.
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What hurts the most in a relationship?

You don't trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.
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How do you trust someone again after they hurt you?

How to Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You
  1. Acknowledge your anger and make time for grieving. — No one should expect you to act as though the hurt inflicted didn't matter. ...
  2. Communicate with each other. ...
  3. Listen to your inner voice. ...
  4. Commit to a plan for moving forward. ...
  5. Take it one day at a time.
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How do you get around someone who hurt you?

They will help you develop some new techniques and keep you from reacting to new hurts in old ways.
  1. Recognize the offense for what it is. ...
  2. Resist the tendency to defend your position. ...
  3. Give up the need to be right. ...
  4. Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. ...
  5. Respond, don't react.
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How do you move on when a friend hurts you?

  1. Make sure you read the situation correctly. ...
  2. Try talking about the issue with your friend. ...
  3. Discuss it with someone else you trust. ...
  4. Look for ways to resolve the conflict. ...
  5. Know when not to talk. ...
  6. Know when to cut your losses. ...
  7. Let it go. ...
  8. Don't paint all of your friends with the same brush.
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How do you let go of someone you love?

How to truly let go of someone you love:
  1. Make sure you're safe. ...
  2. Open up a dialogue. ...
  3. Hold your boundaries firmly. ...
  4. Be direct but also compassionate. ...
  5. Go no-contact if you can. ...
  6. Know that you're worthy of love. ...
  7. Reconnect to the other parts of your life. ...
  8. Remind yourself why it didn't work out.
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Can you unlove someone you truly love?

You may always carry those feelings with you in some form. Love doesn't always go away just because we want it to. But even if you can't entirely stop loving someone who doesn't love you or who's caused you harm, you can manage those feelings in positive, healthy ways so they don't continue to cause you pain.
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Can lost feelings come back?

Can lost feelings ever come back? With a little effort, they most certainly can! Here's what you can do to make lost feelings come back, regardless of the reasons why they went away.
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How do you move on from someone you love deeply?

10 Tips on How to Get Over Someone You Love
  1. Remember There's No Time Limit. ...
  2. Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions. ...
  3. Remove Your Ex From Social Media and Your Phone. ...
  4. Remember To Love Yourself. ...
  5. Write Down How You Feel. ...
  6. Turn Your Energy Into Something Positive. ...
  7. Don't Hold On To Anger And Blame. ...
  8. Don't Torture Yourself.
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Why is it so hard to forget someone who hurt you?

"Feeling betrayed by someone whom you thought had your best interests at heart is emotionally treacherous because you feel as though you were not only betrayed, but you were fooled and disrespected,“ she says. No one wants to be made to feel a fool, and the shame of that can linger even longer than the usual heartache.
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Why do guys hurt the one they love?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.
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