Why do I say mean things to my boyfriend?

Low self-esteem
Those of us with low confidence levels can sometimes try to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves. Maybe your partner is jealous of your success, or wishes they were as confident as you in some things, so they try to bring you down by saying hurtful things.
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Why do I act so mean to my boyfriend?

If you aren't feeling good about yourself, you could be subconsciously letting your frustrations out by being mean to your boyfriend. Jealousy could also be clouding your judgment if they are doing well in themselves and you feel left behind.
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What to do when you say hurtful things to your boyfriend?

If you're not clear on what you said or did that was hurtful, just ask. It's important to show your partner that you know you made a mistake and that you're willing to take responsibility for your actions. This means avoiding annoying phrases such as, "I'm sorry if you were hurt," or, "I'm sorry you were upset."
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How does saying hurtful things affect a relationship?

Those harsh words said in fits of anger linger. Hurtful words can have a negative impact and begin to affect intimacy. The residual effects of the harsh and aggressive words begin to cause more anger and disconnect in the relationship.
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Why do I say hurtful things?

Often well-meaning people say hurtful things because they're at a loss for words. Not knowing the right thing to say, they may turn to canned statements, like “don't worry about it” or “you'll be fine”—the kinds of statements that tend to be least helpful in difficult times.
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Saying Mean Things Will Destroy Your Relationship



How do I stop being so nasty?

20 Easy Ways to Be Less Mean
  1. Stop Prioritizing Being Right.
  2. Ditch the Discussions About Other People's Appearances.
  3. Approach People First.
  4. Stop the "It Could Be Worse" Train.
  5. Take a Deep Breath First.
  6. Think of Positive Things to Say First.
  7. Listen to Other People's Feelings.
  8. Show Up When You RSVP.
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How do I stop myself from saying hurtful things?

Ask a Therapist: How Do I Stop Saying Hurtful Things I Don't Mean...
  1. Take Ownership.
  2. Catch Yourself.
  3. Develop a Plan Together.
  4. Work On Yourself.
  5. Practice Healthy Communication.
  6. Get Help.
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Is it normal to say mean things in a relationship?

Most often in relationships and marriages, hurtful things are said in frustration and anger. These are entirely normal feelings to have in long term relationships. You would be pretty unusual if you had never been angry with your other half.
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Why do we say hurtful things to those we love?

According to Brené Brown's infamous Ted Talk, shame is “the fear of disconnection”. People who carry a lot of shame think they are “unworthy of love and connection”. So, when we lash out at the people we love, it's because we fear disconnection. The more shame we carry around with us, the worse our behaviour is.
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Whats the most hurtful thing you can say to someone?

Found on AskReddit.
  1. “You will end up alone.” ...
  2. “I wish you hadn't failed.” ...
  3. “If I was your best friend I would have killed myself, too.” ...
  4. “I hope they never find your dad and I hope he's dead.” ...
  5. “My life would be so much better if you were never born.” ...
  6. “You will end up alone.” ...
  7. “Why couldn't it have been you that died?”
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Why does my boyfriend get mad when I tell him how I feel?

Why does my boyfriend get mad when I tell him how I feel? There's a chance your partner feels attacked every time you express yourself, which might have something to do with the way you tell him. You may be thinking, 'he gets defensive when I tell him how I feel,” but the way you tell him matters as well.
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How do I stop being mad at my boyfriend over little things?

How to Stop Arguing Over the Smallest Things | Relationship Advice
  1. For the person who is angry/annoyed: Do: be mindful about when you are starting to get annoyed.
  2. Do: figure out why this small thing bothers you so much.
  3. Do: Be mindful of your tone.
  4. Do: Take the ask seriously.
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What is not acceptable in a relationship?

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is not normal in any relationship — long-term, short-term, or otherwise. If you've noticed your partner trying to control you, put you down, or otherwise make you feel bad, that's not just someone blowing off steam, or how "all relationships get" over time — that's emotional abuse.
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Why am I so mean and rude?

Those with conditions such as Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder often appear rude or inconsiderate due to a lack of empathy and a tendency to disregard others' feelings.
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Why am I lashing out at my boyfriend?

If you find yourself lashing out at your partner on a regular basis, it's likely that you're running into a personal emotional trigger within the relationship. An emotional trigger is anything - including a memory, an experience, or an event - that sparks an intense emotional reaction inside you.
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Why is my girlfriend so mean to me?

Unreasonable or unkind behavior usually comes from people who don't feel good about themselves. If your girlfriend is feeling insecure, she might find herself pushing you away when she feels you are getting too close. She might be cold and distant to “test you” and see if you really care enough to stick around.
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What hurts the most in a relationship?

You don't trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.
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Why do we push away the ones we love the most?

Fear of intimacy

Pushing people away is one way of avoiding intimacy. In fact, this avoidance can act as a defense mechanism for people afraid of getting hurt in relationships. Even if you think you've healed from a past relationship that ended badly, worries about further rejection might linger in your subconscious.
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What do you say to someone who hurts you emotionally?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  1. “I care about you.”
  2. “I respect you.”
  3. “I want to fix our relationship.”
  4. “I want to move past this.”
  5. “I want to understand each other better.”
  6. “I want to be open with you.”
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What should you not forgive in a relationship?

Constant Lying

This can tie into cheating, but also just lying in general. If your partner keeps lying to you, he or she can't be trusted, and it's a level of disrespect and shadiness that might not be forgiven in a relationship, says Ziegler.
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Why do I say mean things without thinking?

For some people, social anxiety is a cause of unfiltered speech. This anxiety may cause you to feel so nervous that you say things you would never mention if you were in a more relaxed state. Your mind and body are more focused on fear and stress than they are on the words coming from your mouth.
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Why do I say things I don't mean when I'm angry?

In a fit of anger or in frustration, we say things we don't mean when we lose control of our emotions. We act first instead of thinking it through, and hurt the other person with our words. We all say things we don't mean - to our friends, family, or even strangers.
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Can anxiety make you say nasty things?

Anxiety can make us say mean things, regrettably, no matter how nice we are. I would say that I am a nice person. Indeed, I would go as far to say that my “niceness” is often viewed as a defining characteristic to my closest friends. As far as I know myself, this isn't just appearances.
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Why do I get so angry in an argument?

Think before you speak

Usually, when we argue, we tend to find ways to hurt people rather than trying to solve the issue. We do so through offensive statements, bringing back the past, aiming at insecurities and getting physical. This is the result of not thinking before speaking or taking action.
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Why am I being mean?

Some common anger triggers include: personal problems, such as missing a promotion at work or relationship difficulties. a problem caused by another person such as cancelling plans. an event like bad traffic or getting in a car accident.
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