Why do I get obsessed with crushes?

So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
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Is it normal to obsess over crushes?

It's very common to get super-excited over a crush or new person you're seeing. This is all totally natural, and fun… in most cases. We tend to put new love interests on a pedestal and romanticize everything about them.
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What causes obsession with a crush?

People with feelings of love experience a rush of dopamine and other powerful brain chemicals. For some people, these feelings are so powerful that they become obsessed with keeping and controlling the person they love.
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How do I stop being obsessed with my crush?

16 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone
  1. Think about your relationship. ...
  2. Put some distance between you and them. ...
  3. Remember your life before them. ...
  4. Stop idealizing them. ...
  5. Think about the life you deserve. ...
  6. Change your train of thought. ...
  7. Let your loved ones help you. ...
  8. Find out the cause of your obsessive feelings.
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What triggers limerence?

What Causes Limerence and ROCD? The intrusive thinking involved in limerence and OCD and has been associated with low levels of serotonin and elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine—all neurotransmitters, or chemicals that act as messengers between brain cells.
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7 Signs You're Obsessed With Your Crush, Not Love



What are the 3 stages of limerence?

The three phases of limerence
  • Infatuation. This is the “getting to know you” phase, where you start to really notice the LO and start to feel they are special. ...
  • Crystallisation. This is the full blown limerence response – so the full complement of traits. ...
  • Deterioration.
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Is limerence a mental illness?

appear to be genetically driven": indeed, limerence is first and foremost a condition of cognitive obsession. This may be caused by low serotonin levels in the brain, comparable to those of people with obsessive–compulsive disorder.
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How long is a crush supposed to last?

It can last hours, days, weeks, months, or perhaps, even years; there is no set timeframe for a crush. A crush is a fantasy of what you imagine that person to be like—you like the idea of that person. It is pure attraction.
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What are the symptoms of obsessive love disorder?

What are the symptoms of obsessive love disorder?
  • an overwhelming attraction to one person.
  • obsessive thoughts about the person.
  • feeling the need to “protect” the person you're in love with.
  • possessive thoughts and actions.
  • extreme jealousy over other interpersonal interactions.
  • low self-esteem.
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Why am I obsessing over someone I barely know?

According to experts, there are a few key reasons for why this happens. "Usually falling in love with, and being unable to get over someone you barely know and have barely dated, is reflective of having 'attachment issues,'" Lauren O'Connell, licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle.
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Is it a crush or limerence?

You can have a crush that adds excitement to life, as distinct from limerence that wholly takes over life. Maybe that's the key: Limerence is when a crush has taken over your life. Another person dominates your mind so completely that you feel like you are addicted to them.
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Is limerence real?

When you're in limerence with someone, it's similar to falling in love. The attraction is real. "It is a form of infatuation which can mirror the early stages of falling in love where you obsessively think about the other person," says Mackenzie. It can happen with anyone, anytime.
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How do you break limerence?

How to deal with limerence in relationship?
  1. Get clear. Perception check – what is he/she showing you and telling you? ...
  2. Reign in the forward-thinking and fantasy. ...
  3. Don't lose yourself. ...
  4. Give yourself time. ...
  5. Build trust.
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What is an Erotomaniac?

Erotomania, also known as “de Clérambault's Syndrome”, is a psychiatric syndrome characterized by the delusional belief that one is loved by another person of, generally of a higher social status.
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How do I get rid of an obsession?

How to Step Back
  1. Try a temporary hiatus. Take a day or a week off from engaging with whatever you're obsessed with. ...
  2. Change your setting or routine. ...
  3. Eliminate triggers. ...
  4. Be kind to yourself. ...
  5. Understand what psychological needs the obsession is fulfilling.
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How do I stop being infatuated with someone?

So, here are a few ways to practice Opposite Action in order to change your feeling of infatuation:
  1. Avoid everything that reminds you of the object of your infatuation.
  2. Use distractions.
  3. Make a list of reasons why the infatuation is harmful to you.
  4. Join support groups.
  5. Move onto someone else.
  6. Time heals.
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What are the 3 types of crushes?

Identity crushes, romantic crushes, and celebrity crushes.
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Why can't I get over my crush?

The reason you can't get over your crush is that you have accidentally trained yourself into a mental habit of constantly seeking them. The excitement and euphoria of that initial romantic connection makes them the central focus of your life, and because it feels so intoxicating and good, you don't resist.
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What does psychology say about crushes?

Psychologically speaking, crushes occur when a person of any age projects their ideas and values onto another person whom they believe possesses certain attributes and with whom they want to be associated. Then, the person with the crush attaches strong positive feelings to this magical image that they have created.
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Is limerence toxic?

The phenomenon of limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979. It is characterized as “an involuntary state of deep obsession and infatuation with another person.” While it might sound like a typical crush, basing a relationship off of limerence or limerent feelings can lead to toxic relationships.
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How long can limerence last?

Limerence lasts longer than romantic love, but not usually as long as a healthy, committed partnerships. By Tennov's estimates, limerence can last a few weeks to several decades, with the average being 18 months to three years. The duration depends whether the individual's affections are requited.
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What kind of people are prone to limerence?

The trouble is, people prone to limerence are typically intelligent, thoughtful and have insecure attachment styles. While the former two traits allow for great empathy, the latter leaves them believing that they are unworthy of a real relationship.
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Why do I get infatuated?

Infatuation is inherently based on psychological projection, which springs from a false set of beliefs one may ascribe to the object of one's infatuation. Whereas true love is built on a complete understanding of another person (including strengths and weaknesses), infatuation comes from an idealization of that person.
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What happens when you fall in love too fast?

Key points. Falling in love easily, quickly, and often is called "emophilia." This tendency can lead people to miss critical red flags, so they may be prone to entering unhealthy relationships. Emophilia may make people's self-concepts vulnerable to rapid change.
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How common is limerence?

And what if it went unrequited? This actually occurs in five percent of the population, who suffer from a condition known as Limerence. Patients recount feelings of intense grief following a break-up, characterized by chest pains, heart palpitations, insomnia, lethargy, and an inability to consume food.
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