Why are narcissists so vindictive?

Underneath an apparent sense of superiority, there might also be an exaggerated need to feel approved and loved, and a vulnerable self-esteem. In this sense, some people with NPD might experience any hint of rejection as a trigger for vindictive behavior.

What causes vindictive behavior?

They're identified by the following characteristics: Jealousy, insecurities, and negative thoughts. Vindictive people experience this drive because of their insecurities and low self-esteem. As a matter of fact, sometimes, just seeing others succeed stirs up frustration in them and a desire to hurt.

What are the signs of a vindictive person?

A vindictive person has misguided pain. They feel frustrated, helpless, hurt or ignored and are unable to change their circumstances without ensuring that they affect others in the meantime. They don't have the necessary strength inside to find better ways to handle their feelings.

Are covert narcissists vindictive?

People with vulnerable or covert NPD are very sensitive to criticism. They may perceive insults where others do not and are likely to become defensive easily. They may act in a vindictive or passive-aggressive way if they believe that someone has slighted them.

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

10 Signs of Vindictive Narcissism

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

If you stand up to someone with a narcissistic personality, you can expect them to respond. Once you speak up and set boundaries, they may come back with some demands of their own. They may also try to manipulate you into feeling guilty or believing that you're the one being unreasonable and controlling.

What weird things do narcissists do?

One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.

How do you deal with a vindictive person?

Why are narcissists so mean?

"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."

Are Narcissists vengeful?

Revenge is all-consuming for them.

“Revenge” can mean a variety of different things to a vindictive narcissist but it all boils down to one thing. They are consumed by the rage that is a result of a way you made them feel and they want you to feel pain.

What is an example of being vindictive?

Vindictiveness is a strong desire to get back at someone. People who hold grudges and seek revenge are full of vindictiveness. If someone steps on your toe, and you put on boots to stomp back, you're full of vindictiveness.

Why do narcissists rage?

Narcissists respond to perceived threats to their fragile sense of self and something seemingly minor can trigger their narcissistic rage. The important word here is perceived. A narcissist's perception is very narrowly focused in on themselves. Their worlds become small and self-centered.

Is narcissism a mental illness?

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

Why some people are so vengeful?

"People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status," he says. "They don't want to lose face." In his study, McKee surveyed 150 university students who answered questions about their attitudes toward revenge, authority and tradition, and group inequality.

Why do narcissists hold grudges?

A tendency to hold grudges

When they believe someone's treated them unfairly, they might feel furious but say nothing in the moment. Instead, they're more likely to wait for an ideal opportunity to make the other person look bad or get revenge in some way. This revenge might be subtle or passive-aggressive.

Why do narcissists exaggerate?

Need for Admiration

People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego.

What causes spitefulness?

The most common cause of spite is being hurt by something out of your control and then returning the hurt in order to defend yourself. It can be someone attacking you on social media. They themselves could be having a tough day and decide that attacking you is the best way to feel good in the short term.

What should you not tell a narcissist?

What does no contact do to a narcissist?

If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.

What phrases do narcissists use?

In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like:

"You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else." "It's fate that we met."

What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

How does a narcissist feel when you reject them?

Gaslighters/narcissists are extremely sensitive to rejection. Any perceived slight can throw them into a tailspin. Many times, gaslighters/narcissists will be out for revenge. One of the most common ways gaslighters/narcissists attack those who reject them is by subjecting them to public humiliation.

How do narcissists react when you leave?

Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me."