Why are narcissists so mean?

"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."
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Why do narcissists want to hurt you?

Narcissists lack empathy and they cannot relate to the emotional experiences of someone else. For this reason, when the narcissist hurts you, they are unable and/or unwilling to understand how their actions negatively affect you.
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Why are narcissists so hateful?

Summary and Conclusions. Highly narcissistic people hate seeing others being happy. Its because they themselves are unable to feel genuine happiness. They will use numerous mind-bending delusions and justifications to explain why your happiness is, in so many words, an act of aggression against them.
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Why are narcissists spiteful?

Common triggers of vindictive behavior in NPD

Underneath an apparent sense of superiority, there might also be an exaggerated need to feel approved and loved, and a vulnerable self-esteem. In this sense, some people with NPD might experience any hint of rejection as a trigger for vindictive behavior.
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Why do narcissists treat you badly?

When people have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, two things interact to predispose them to be abusive: 1. They are low on emotional empathy. Emotional empathy is the capacity to feel what another person is feeling (or what you imagine the person is feeling).
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Why Are Narcissists So Mean?



How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
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What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:
  1. Lack of Attention.
  2. Doing something they don't like.
  3. Losing.
  4. Logic and Facts.
  5. Boundaries.
  6. Critical Thinking.
  7. Spontaneous Behavior.
  8. Someone else's Success.
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What weird things do narcissists do?

One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
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What a narcissist fears the most?

Narcissists are terrified of being alone, and their greatest fear is abandonment. Setting clear boundaries or not reacting to their chaotic manipulation will cause them to become afraid of losing you even though they may never admit it.
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Does a narcissist ever let go of a victim?

Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.
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Do narcissists want to destroy you?

The seek to destroy strong relationships with friends and family. The first is strong family relationships. If a narcissistic abuser knows you have a strong bond with your relatives, they will seek to destroy it by worming their way in and causing issues from within.
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Do narcissists know they are mean?

More times than not, narcissists do not know they are narcissists and will receive being told they are narcissists very poorly. What is this? Narcissists have no insight and self-awareness, so their ability to recognize that they are a problem will not happen.
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What to do when a narcissist is mad at you?

Here are 10 tips for when you're faced with narcissistic rage:
  1. Physically Distance Yourself. ...
  2. Establish Your Boundaries. ...
  3. Stay Calm. ...
  4. Don't Overreact to the Narcissist's Rage. ...
  5. Empathize With the Narcissist & Validate Their Viewpoint. ...
  6. Don't Raise Your Voice. ...
  7. Take a Break. ...
  8. Remember This Is Not About You.
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Why are narcissists so angry?

Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
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What should you not tell a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
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What phrases do narcissists use?

In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like:

"You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else." "It's fate that we met."
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What do narcissists say to get you back?

Another strategy used by the narcissist to “get back” is to start blaming the other partner for incidentals but over and over again. They might say, “You're holding me back,” for example, when they seek constant activity with no downtime.
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What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

If you stand up to someone with a narcissistic personality, you can expect them to respond. Once you speak up and set boundaries, they may come back with some demands of their own. They may also try to manipulate you into feeling guilty or believing that you're the one being unreasonable and controlling.
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How do you humiliate a narcissist?

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.
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What to say to a narcissist to shut them down?

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  • 1. “ ...
  • “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  • “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  • “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  • “Everything Is Okay” ...
  • “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  • “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  • “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”
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When the narcissist knows you have them figured out?

2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.
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What does a narcissist think when you ignore him?

Most narcissists will not readily change their behavior once you ignore them. They might make half-hearted attempts to “get better,” but they often abandon these efforts once they can refuel their narcissistic supply. This pattern often leads you to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry.
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Do narcissists have friends?

Do Narcissists Have Friends? Yes, but as you have read from the definition of friendship, the nature of their condition does not allow narcissists to have true friends. Narcissists have a lack of empathy, they may sit and listen to a friend's problems, but they will quickly make that conversation about themselves.
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