Why am I holding on to the past?

People hold onto the past because they confuse feeling with reacting. Think about it, if you grew up seeing anger as an outburst, or sadness as withdrawal, it would make sense that you would see emotions as a warning sign rather than an avenue for healing. The challenge is, in order to heal, you have to feel it.
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How do I stop holding on to the past?

Tips for letting go
  1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. ...
  2. Create physical distance. ...
  3. Do your own work. ...
  4. Practice mindfulness. ...
  5. Be gentle with yourself. ...
  6. Allow the negative emotions to flow. ...
  7. Accept that the other person may not apologize. ...
  8. Engage in self-care.
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Why you can't let go of the past?

Most people can't let go of the past because they don't appreciate their present. Reframing our relationship with our past requires us to stop thinking of how things should be and accept them for what they are. As Dalai Lama said, "Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering."
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What happens when you hold onto your past?

Living in the past causes negative thoughts that not only affect your mind but also your health. They can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, obesity, and anorexia. You feel tired all the time and you are not able to stay productive at work and enjoy all those little happy things life offers you.
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Why does the past hurt so much?

Why memories hurt. When an experience is recorded as a memory, it goes through the emotional and cognitive filters, assumptions and interpretations of the person. This is one of the reasons why different people can have quite different recollections of the same event.
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Jordan Peterson: What to Do If You are Stuck in the Past?



Why does the past come back?

There is a reason the past keeps coming back in painful memories. It's because you're stuck in one way of thinking or feeling. Because of neural networking, when we feel a specific way or think a certain way, we think about other times we felt and thought the same way.
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How do I make peace with my past?

5 Ways to make peace with your past
  1. Remember past mistakes are history. No matter how many times you blame yourself for the mistakes you have made, you can't change it. ...
  2. Don't forget wrong people are part and parcel of life. ...
  3. Meditate. ...
  4. Journal your thoughts. ...
  5. Talk to yourself.
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Why am I still dwelling on the past?

Over several decades, researchers have shown remembering your past is fundamental to being human, and has four important roles. Our personal memories give us a sense of continuity — the same person (or sense of self) moving through time. They provide important details of who we are and who we would like to be.
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How do I let go of the past spiritually?

Below are the 5 ways to begin letting go of your past, for good:
  1. Meditation. At the core of your suffering is attachment. ...
  2. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is not meditation but one cannot exist without the other. ...
  3. Forgiveness. Forgive others even when they shouldn't be forgiven. ...
  4. Acceptance. ...
  5. Ask for Help.
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Why is letting go so hard?

Letting go is hard because it means that you need to free yourself from some aspects of your past. Things that have become a part of yourself – of what makes you who you are today. Most people understand this as getting rid of that 'thing' resulting to a change in who you are. You can find letting go to be scary.
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How do I clear my emotional baggage?

You've probably heard the term “emotional baggage.”
...
Here are a few ways to release repressed emotions:
  1. acknowledging your feelings.
  2. working through trauma.
  3. trying shadow work.
  4. making intentional movement.
  5. practicing stillness.
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Does letting go of the past mean forgetting?

Forgetting means dismissing an event or information from your mind entirely. Letting go, however, requires you to acknowledge the facts for what they are, internalize the data, and accept it. Primarily, it is a difference in processing information and whether it was blocked off or passed through someone.
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Is rumination a mental illness?

Rumination is sometimes referred to as a "silent" mental health problem because its impact is often underestimated. But it plays a big part in anything from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) to eating disorders. And the impact of mental health problems is huge.
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Can't stop living in the past?

15 WAYS TO STOP LIVING IN THE PAST
  1. 1- Examine Your Life.
  2. 2- Acknowledge Your Emotions About the Past.
  3. 3- Feel Your Pain and Heal.
  4. 4- Don't Dwell on Negative Thoughts.
  5. 5- Learn from Your Experiences.
  6. 6- Don't Play the Victim.
  7. 7- Forgive Past Hurts.
  8. 8- Don't Wait for Closure.
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Why do I reminisce about the past so much?

We crave to feel the positive emotions that we felt, to connect to the version of ourselves we were at the time we are reminiscing about. Perhaps we felt more carefree, perhaps we felt joy or a sense of accomplishment, perhaps we felt loved and more connected to our loved ones.
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How do you stop dwelling on the past and start moving forward?

8 Steps to Move Away From the Past You Need to Leave Behind
  1. Learn from the past but don't dwell there. Yes. ...
  2. Express yourself. ...
  3. Stop pointing fingers. ...
  4. Focus on the present. ...
  5. Disconnect for a while. ...
  6. Think about the people around you. ...
  7. Forgive those who wronged you -- including yourself. ...
  8. Make new memories.
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How do you move forward and let go of the past?

15 Steps To Let Go of The Past
  1. Realize your feelings are valid. ...
  2. Physically let out the negative emotions peacefully. ...
  3. Accept that it is time to let go of the past. ...
  4. Identify what is keeping you from moving forward. ...
  5. Meditate on what you could change for the future. ...
  6. Know it's time to forgive. ...
  7. Get professional help.
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Does talking about the past help?

Establishing an identity by remembering events from the past can be an important way of building links and establishing what is shared and common in groups of people as well as among people whose life experience may have been quite isolating or distant from what are seen as 'normal' life events.
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Is bringing up the past toxic?

Every time you bring up their past to mock them for their choices or your own to draw comparisons, you are wedging a gap. This is not a constructive habit and moreover, it is unhealthy. You might feel that you are talking from your feelings and emotions, but what you are actually doing is bullying them for their past.
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What triggers rumination?

According to the American Psychological Association, some common reasons for rumination include: belief that by ruminating, you'll gain insight into your life or a problem. having a history of emotional or physical trauma. facing ongoing stressors that can't be controlled.
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Why do I keep replaying things in my head?

For some people, ruminating thoughts are a way to control anxiety. It may mean you're replaying life events in an attempt to make sure that next time, you're prepared and won't feel as anxious. Repeating entire conversations in your head is a type of rumination. It's how your mind attempts to self-soothe.
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What is obsessive rumination?

Rumination and OCD

Rumination is a core feature of OCD that causes a person to spend an inordinate amount time worrying about, analyzing, and trying to understand or clarify a particular thought or theme.
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Why do I think about the past so much?

If you feel that you are drawing lessons from the past, or enjoying the past then it's more likely that you're being introspective. On the other hand, if your thoughts about the past are full of regrets and bitterness, or your thoughts have a repetitive automatic quality, it's likely that you are ruminating.
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Why do I still cry about my past?

Restorative nostalgia inspires you to go back and change or recreate your past, while reflective nostalgia allows you to accept your memories for what they are. People can experience both types of nostalgia, but restorative nostalgia is more likely to make you feel sad, Boym writes.
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Why can't I forget my past?

Learn to forgive

The only way you can forget about the past is by forgiving whoever has done you wrong. It doesn't matter how bad they have broken your heart, If you can look at them and say “I forgive you” with a smile (this can be hard), then you are releasing yourself from the cage you have locked yourself in.
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