What to say to someone who says sorry but doesn't mean it?

Try saying: “Thank you, I needed to hear this apology. I really am hurt.” Or, “I appreciate your apology. I need time to think about it, and I need to see a change in your actions before I can move forward with you.” Don't attack the transgressor, as hard as it may be to hold back in the moment.
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What to say when someone apologizes but it's not OK?

Instead I say, "I appreciate your apology," or "Thanks for acknowledging that, I was really hurt." It's a way to accept or acknowledge the apology but also to communicate that the offense was wrong.
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What do you do when someone apologizes but still hurts?

If you're still hurt, mad, or upset

If you're still hurt or upset by someone's actions, be open about this. Let them say their apology and acknowledge their effort, but be clear that you aren't fully ready to move forward yet. Commit to revisiting it later after letting your emotions settle.
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What do you say when someone apologizes but still mad?

Try saying: “Thank you, I needed to hear this apology. I really am hurt.” Or, “I appreciate your apology. I need time to think about it, and I need to see a change in your actions before I can move forward with you.” Don't attack the transgressor, as hard as it may be to hold back in the moment.
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What to do when he doesn't accept your apology?

Give the person some time and space to process the apology and their feelings. They may feel differently once they have some time. Whatever it was that prompted you to apologize was hurtful or disappointing enough. Don't make it worse by crowding their space and disrespecting their wishes.
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What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Accept Your Apology



Why I'm sorry but isn't an apology?

A true apology does not include the word “but” (“I'm sorry, but …”). “But” automatically cancels out an apology, and nearly always introduces a criticism or excuse. A true apology keeps the focus on your actions—and not on the other person's response.
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What is a manipulative apology?

A phrase designed to elicit an apology from the other party, whereby the original apologizer can deflect full responsibility to that other person; usually said in a hostile or sarcastic tone and often followed by an explicit or implicit “…but this is really your fault”
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What is a toxic apology?

The toxic apology part 2

This sounds almost reasonable but is, in fact, anything but reasonable. It is a form of words designed to make you look like the bad guy by suggesting that you have been ungracious and unbending, as well as having unrealistic expectations.
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What is a defensive apology?

2. The defensive apology. This one takes a bit of finesse and sleight-of-hand to pull off and it may actually work in the moment; it usually includes more than a little blame-shifting too. Yes, the words “I'm sorry” are included in this one; it's the construction of the apology you have to pay attention to.
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What is a backhanded apology?

A non-apology apology, sometimes called a backhanded apology, nonpology, or fauxpology, is a statement in the form of an apology that does not express remorse, or assigns fault to those ostensibly receiving the apology.
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Is a text apology a real apology?

"But if you type 'I'm sorry' and hit Send, nothing happens." In other words, while texting an apology isn't exactly a "toxic gesture," she said, it does strip you of your ability to train and strengthen your empathy muscles.
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Should you say sorry if you don't mean it?

Apologies don't mean anything unless you truly plan on changing your behavior, which might mean getting help for the problem. When the apology is a way to absolve you of responsibility for your actions.
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What is a selfish apology?

We accept the belief that forgiveness is a necessary component of a healthy, satisfying relationship. But why don't apologies always work?
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Is it OK not to accept an apology?

Tanisha M. Ranger, a licensed psychologist, tells Romper in an email exchange. "They say, 'I'm sorry,' and we say, 'that's alright. ' When they're not sorry and/or it's not alright, it is perfectly okay to not accept an apology."
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Should you apologize for hurting feelings?

If something you've done has caused pain for another person, it's a good idea to apologize, even if whatever you did was unintentional. This is because apologizing opens up the doors to communication, which allows you to reconnect with the person who was hurt.
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How do you politely reject an apology?

“Thank you for offering your apology. I would really like to forgive this, but right now, I cannot — what you did was very hurtful to me and it will take some time to heal. In the meantime, we need to function as co-workers and I would prefer to keep any interaction between us as business professionals only.
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How do you end an apology text?

Still, some positive ways you can close an apology email include: I look forward to working with you in the future. I trust we can put this situation behind us. We will never make the same mistake again and hope you will continue to work with us.
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What do you say to someone when they hurt their feelings?

Recognize the Reasons to Apologize
  • Acknowledge that you were wrong.
  • Discuss what is allowed and not allowed in your relationship.
  • Express your regret and remorse.
  • Learn from your mistakes and find new ways of dealing with difficult situations.
  • Open up a line of communication with the other person.
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How do narcissists apologize?

In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as in, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
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What is a weak apology?

The Incomplete Apology.

For example, you might take partial responsibility for your role, but not express regret or ask forgiveness. Or you might express some regret for the circumstances of the other person, but not admit your role.
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What do you say when a narcissist apologizes?

How to Respond to a Narcissist's Apology
  1. 1 Recognize the signs of a bad apology.
  2. 2 Ask them if they can see your perspective.
  3. 3 Communicate your boundaries clearly.
  4. 4 Let them know you're disappointed in them.
  5. 5 Tell them you won't accept an apology at the moment.
  6. 6 Keep yourself safe from an outburst.
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Do manipulators ever say sorry?

A manipulative apology will always be followed by a hundred reasons and justifications for their wrong-doing. An apology is supposed to empathise with the victim rather than a mere excuse for what the perpetrator had done.
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Can apologies be manipulative?

Types of Insincere and/or Manipulative Apologies

Not all insincere apologies are purposely manipulative. Often, they aren't even purposely insincere. That doesn't make them acceptable, though, nor does it make a continued pattern of giving such apologies less toxic.
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How do you apologize to someone who doesn't want to talk?

How to Apologize to Someone Who Doesn't Want to Talk to You
  1. Get in the right headspace. ...
  2. Give them space (and time). ...
  3. Offer One Genuine Apology. ...
  4. Show Them You're (Genuinely) Sorry. ...
  5. Wait a Few Days. ...
  6. Reach Out to Them. ...
  7. Let it Go.
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