What should you not say to the family at a funeral?

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.
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What is disrespectful at a funeral?

Stealing anything from a deceased person or their family is obviously a no-go. Even “just a flower or two,” is also disrespectful. Alternative: Some families may offer up extra flowers to their guests as well as other gifts as a “thank you.” In this case, it's obviously OK to accept these items.
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What are things you shouldn't say at a funeral?

Seven Things You Should Never Say at Funerals
  • “He/She Deserved to Die” ...
  • “It Could be Worse” ...
  • “It was Destiny” ...
  • “Everything Happens for a Reason” ...
  • “At Least…” ...
  • “You're Still Young” ...
  • “It's Better…”
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What should you not say at a funeral speech?

Here are some things to avoid mentioning in your eulogy speech.
  • Focusing on cause of death.
  • Faults/shortcomings.
  • Old hurts.
  • Grudges.
  • Past arguments/disagreements.
  • Family rifts.
  • Bad memories.
  • Unhealthy rivalries.
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What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

I'm Sorry for Your Loss.

This is one of the simplest things to say, which makes it perfect for almost any situation. It expresses your condolences in a graceful, understated way, and it is equally appropriate regardless of your relationship to the deceased and their family.
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What should I say to the grieving family at a funeral service?



What to say to the family of the deceased?

The best things to say when someone dies
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • You are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • They will be so missed.
  • I'm very sorry to hear this tragic news.
  • I'm shocked and saddened by this devastating news.
  • I can't imagine how you must feel right now.
  • If you want to talk, I'm here at any time.
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Do you have to speak at a funeral?

In some cases, perhaps the majority, everyone who wants to speak during the service should be given a chance. In other situations, however, you're forced to make a decision. For example, when the deceased is famous or extremely well-known, there may be a lot of people who want to speak.
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How do you not cry during an eulogy?

How to Deliver a Eulogy Without Crying
  1. Practice.
  2. Have a support person.
  3. Eat before you speak.
  4. Remember to breathe.
  5. Remember who the eulogy is for.
  6. Keep things funny, if appropriate.
  7. Pin It.
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Do you clap after a eulogy?

On almost every other public occasion where someone stands up to speak, even if they are dead boring, they are acknowledged by clapping. Sometimes quiet clapping, sometimes a standing ovation and everything in between. But, in this setting at a funeral, it is often just flat..don't make a sound...
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What do you say to a family at a wake?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.
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Is it disrespectful to take pictures at a funeral?

As a General Rule: No Photos Inside

Do not ever, unless specifically asked, take pictures of an open casket, or even with the casket in the background. Whether you intend to be flippant or not, it is disrespectful to the deceased and those mourning them.
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What is etiquette for a funeral?

In light of this, the general advice for how to act at a funeral or memorial service is to be respectful, courteous, and generous to others. Remember that the simple presence of a friend, a hug, or a kind word can go a long way towards making someone feel comforted.
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Is it rude to not view the body at a funeral?

Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the body if you are not comfortable doing so.
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What is funeral etiquette for the family?

Spouse, parents, and children of the deceased will sit closest to the front. Sometimes close friends and "honorary family members" will sit with the grieving family. Other family members (siblings and their families, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) will be the closest to the immediate family.
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How do you deal with a difficult family member at a funeral?

Minimizing Family Drama at the Funeral Service
  1. Show respect to all. Whether or not you respect the actions of family members, they are grieving too. ...
  2. Enforce your boundaries. ...
  3. Obituaries matter. ...
  4. Plan arrangements wisely. ...
  5. Be on your best behavior. ...
  6. Avoid gossip. ...
  7. A final word.
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Can you smile at a funeral?

“Getting at the beauty of the deceased by telling a story that's sweet or brings a smile or laugh is a lovely thing to do.” Obviously, you'll still want to be sensitive and aware of your boundaries, especially if you're speaking during the service.
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Is it rude to not cry at a funeral?

Have you ever found yourself not crying at funerals and wondered whether it is normal? Worry not! It is perfectly fine to feel that way. Besides, a funeral service exists to allow friends and family to extend comfort to the bereaved family.
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How long should a eulogy last?

A eulogy should be two to 10 minutes in length. This does not sound like much time when you're attempting to recap a lifetime of love and accomplishment. Keep in mind that you must respect the time of those in attendance, particularly if the funeral is during working hours.
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How do you start a eulogy speech?

Start with a Funny Story

But, if the deceased was known for having a particularly good sense of humor, it may be appropriate to start with his or her favorite story. Funerals are often celebrations of life. Ask the family members of the deceased if they're okay with you starting with a funny story about the deceased.
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Who traditionally does the eulogy?

Who Can Deliver A Eulogy. Family members, friends, clergy, and/or funeral conductors often give eulogies. At very religious funerals it is common for only clergy to deliver eulogies. However, even at many religious funerals it is common for others to deliver eulogies as well.
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What makes a good eulogy?

The best eulogies are respectful and solemn, but they also give mourners some comic relief. A bit of roasting is fine if it suits who the person was and the family has a sense of humor. Close your eulogy by directly addressing the person who died, something like “Joe, thank you for teaching me how to be a good father.”
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How do I calm my nerves before a funeral?

How to deal with bereavement
  1. Let it all out. Coping with bereavement is not something you should expect to change overnight. ...
  2. Find a support network. ...
  3. Don't feel guilty. ...
  4. Remember the good times. ...
  5. Keep active. ...
  6. Surround yourself with good people. ...
  7. Give yourself time.
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Who usually speaks at a funeral?

The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.
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Can jeans be worn to a funeral?

Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.
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What do you say to your mother at her funeral?

Thank you. I am also grateful that this room is filled with so many people that knew and cared for my mom. Seeing the tremendous love and support here for my mom and my family is humbling and inspiring. Thank you for taking the time today to be here.
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