What not to say during a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?
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What is the most disrespectful thing to do at a funeral?

"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
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What should you avoid at a funeral?

Things You Should NOT Do at a Funeral
  • Laugh out of turn. ...
  • Wear something revealing or loud. ...
  • Disrespect cues. ...
  • Make unnecessary noise. ...
  • Speak out of turn. ...
  • Applaud out of turn. ...
  • Yawn excessively. ...
  • Move around too much.
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What is inappropriate for a funeral?

Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
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What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”
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What You Shouldn't Say/Do At A Funeral Home (8JTV)



What is the most common thing said at a funeral?

Offering Condolences: What to Say at a Funeral
  • “I am so sorry for your loss”
  • “You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers”
  • “This is so sad to hear, I'm thinking of you and the family”
  • “If you want to talk at any time, I'm here”
  • “Shocked and saddened by this news if you need anything I'm here”
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What to say at a funeral when you don't know what to say?

I wish I had the right words to say, but please know I'm here to listen.
...
When You Don't Know What to Say at a Visitation
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.
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What color is not appropriate for a funeral?

Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
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What's the hardest part of a funeral?

Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
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What does wearing purple to a funeral mean?

During the Procession of the Holy Cross, on Good Friday, men and boys dress in purple robes and hoods as a sign of mourning and symbol of the pain and suffering of Christ's crucifixion. Many devout Catholics in Brazil also wear purple, alongside black, while mourning the loss of a loved one.
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What can you not do after a funeral?

Refrain from entertainment

After the funeral, the family and close relatives to the deceased are supposed to refrain from entertainment and merry-making. This is a basic rule that should be adhered to during such times and events.
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What can I take to stop me crying at a funeral?

Bring tissues or a handkerchief

Crying isn't always pretty. It's entirely okay, and you shouldn't feel worried about what you look like when you're feeling a strong emotion. However, bringing tissues or a handkerchief helps you feel more in control of your appearance when you're struggling with tears.
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What does wearing white to a funeral mean?

White is a color of mourning across the globe

Clean, white shirts are usually worn with suits, and funeral flowers are usually white too. In Medieval times, white was worn together with black when honoring lost lives. Buddhists wear white to funerals as a symbol of mourning, and respect to the deceased person.
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Which part of the body does not burn during cremation?

What's really returned to you is the person's skeleton. Once you burn off all the water, soft tissue, organs, skin, hair, cremation container/casket, etc., what you're left with is bone. When complete, the bones are allowed to cool to a temperature that they can be handled and are placed into a processing machine.
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Is it rude to smile at a funeral?

It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
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When should you not go to a funeral?

Funerals are emotional events and if there is family conflict, estranged relationships, or other reasons that can make the occasion uncomfortable, then the better personal choice may be to not attend. Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure.
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Why does a body look different at a funeral?

A body may be different in death to life because:

a mortician or funeral director has changed a body's appearance through clothing, or hair arrangement, or cosmetics. Such “dressing” of the body may be very different to how the person in life would have done it.
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Is it rude to take pictures at a funeral?

Is It Appropriate to Take Photos at a Funeral? Unless explicitly requested by the deceased's family, it is best to avoid taking photographs at a funeral or memorial ceremony. Taking candid photos of the relatives in their most vulnerable moments of grief might cause stress and destroy the mood during the service.
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What's the longest a funeral home hold a body?

As you can see most funeral homes can hold a body indefinitely – but there will likely be holding fees. So, if you can you should speed the process up by finding a reliable funeral home that can deal with the paperwork.
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Is it OK to wear jeans to a funeral?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.
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Why you can't wear red to a funeral?

Why you shouldn't wear red to a funeral. Wearing red to a funeral can be a sign of disrespect. It will give others a completely wrong impression if you wear a bright and bold colour to a funeral, as this goes against the dark, muted colours associated with sadness and mourning.
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Who wears red to a funeral?

In some cultures, red is the preferred color to wear to funerals. In South Africa and Ghana specifically, red is very commonly worn to funerals. In South Africa, red is considered the color of mourning as it represents the blood spilled during the Apartheid era.
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How do you talk to a funeral without crying?

How do you talk at a funeral without crying?
  1. Give Yourself Time to Practice.
  2. Find a Supportive Person Ahead.
  3. Eat Before Giving the Speech.
  4. Remember to Take Deep Breaths.
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.
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How do you send regrets to a funeral?

Send a note. Preferably a handwritten one, but a text might do just fine when the situation doesn't allow it. You want to convey your regrets about not making it to the event. You can enclose the message in a sympathy card.
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How do you show respect at a funeral?

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
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