What is forbidden during shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.
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What is prohibited during shiva?

During shiva the following acts are prohibited for the mourners: Leaving the house, except to go to synagogue on Shabbat, or even during the week if there is no minyan at the shiva house. Work or any business pursuits. Shaving or haircuts.
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What can you do during shiva?

During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. During this first week, family members usually don't go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives. Guests are usually welcome to come to the home during this first week, and spend time with and pray with the family.
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Can you drink alcohol during shiva?

Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However, this is not prohibited. A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook. You may bring a Shiva platter along with you on a visit.
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What can you not say at a shiva house?

WHAT NOT TO SAY
  • “How are you?” (They're not so good.)
  • “I know how you feel.” (No you don't. ...
  • “At least she lived a long life.” (Longer would have been better.)
  • “It's good that you have other children,” or, “Don't worry, you'll have more.” (The loss of a child, no matter what age, is completely devastating.)
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Jewish Guide to Shiva Practices and Helping Your Friend in Mourning



Why do Jews cover mirrors?

The death of human beings disrupts the connection between the living man and living God. Since the purpose of mirrors is to reflect such image, they are covered during mourning. A second reason mirrors are covered in Judaism branches from contemplation of one's relationship with God during the death of a loved one.
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Can non-Jews sit shiva?

Customs, Ritual & Protocol

Shiva takes place within the home of the spouse, parent, sibling or husband of the deceased. And, while Shiva is a Jewish event, non-Jews are welcome to attend. During Shiva, the community will visit the grieving family to pay their respects.
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Can you shave during shiva?

Shiva – seven days

Observance of shiva is referred to by English-speaking Jews as "sitting shiva". During this period, mourners traditionally gather in one home and receive visitors. When they get home, the mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes or jewelry, or shaving.
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Do I wear black to a shiva?

Making a shiva call isn't going to be a party in any sense, but neither will it be a dark, depressing visit. In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning.
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Can you sit Shiva for a pet?

The two main purposes of Jewish funeral and shivah rituals is to acknowledge the character of the deceased and to be helpful to the mourners. There is no reason, therefore, why you cannot say a prayer, light a candle or hold a service for a close pet.
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Can you take food out of a shiva house?

REMOVAL OF ITEMS FOR THE SHIVA HOUSE

It is a custom not to remove anything from the Shiva house during the week of Shiva. The return of food should be done after the Shiva period is completed.
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How long do you stay at a shiva?

In Judaism, after the burial of a loved one, family members usually observe a traditional period of mourning referred to as "sitting shiva," generally for 7 days. Visitors are expected to observe certain guidelines when paying a shiva call.
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Why do you walk around the block after shiva?

At the end of shiva, the mourners may walk once around their block. This symbolizes they are ready to resume daily life. Although they are not yet finished mourning, they have ended the first stage of mourning.
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What food do you bring to a shiva?

Avoid food that requires work on the part of the mourners. Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva.
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Can Jews be cremated?

In Jewish law, the human body belongs to God, not to the individual. Jewish law and tradition consider cremation as destruction of property.
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What do you say at a shiva house?

It is a mitzvah to visit a house of mourning during Shiva. We visit to offer friendship and sympathy to the mourner. It is customary to say to the mourners: Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
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Why do Jews sit on boxes during shiva?

What does sitting shiva mean? Orthodox Jewish families sit on the floor, stools, or boxes that are near the ground. The purpose is to provide a way to focus on the grieving process.
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Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.
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How do you prepare for shiva?

Preparing for Shiva
  1. Decide where, when and at what times you will sit shiva. ...
  2. Note times that will be reserved for family and times that will be open to visitors.
  3. Coordinate meals for the family through shiva.
  4. Set up and prepare the shiva house. ...
  5. To create a custom Shiva Planning Checklist on eCondolence click here.
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Why do you cover the mirrors during shiva?

Covering Mirrors

Mirrors are also covered as a way to remind us the observation of shiva is not about ourselves but rather a time to concentrate on the deceased. The concept of vanity is shunned as this is considered a time of self-reflection, to concentrate on one's inner self and not outward appearances.
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Why do Jews put stones on graves?

Jews believed that placing the stones on a grave would keep the soul down in this world. Some people find comfort in this. Another interpretation suggests that the stones will keep demons and golems from getting into the graves. Flowers, though beautiful, will eventually die.
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Why do they stop a clock when someone dies?

Someone has died, and stopping the clocks in the house of the deceased, silencing them, is an old tradition, similar to closing the blinds or curtains and covering the mirrors. The clock would be set going again after the funeral. Some people believe stopping the clock was to mark the exact time the loved one had died.
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What is sitting shiva like?

The people sitting shiva sit on low benches as a sign of mourning. While the funeral home provides chairs, one could also use a couch with the cushions removed or even sit on the floor. This is a symbol of depression that the mourner is experiencing.
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Should you bring a gift to shiva?

In many Orthodox communities, mourners usually aren't expected to bring food or gifts to the shiva. Close friends of the family or members of the community will organize food for mourners. If you're not certain what to do, check with the family or synagogue before making a shiva call.
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Are you supposed to bring something to shiva?

Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates. The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days. This is a traditional shiva gift and is appropriate to give to a Jewish family in mourning.
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