What is defensive attitude?

Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves.
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What causes a defensive attitude?

Summary: Research has shown that defensiveness in response to wrongdoing is exacerbated by making the wrong doer feel like they're an outcast. Defensive behaviours are common responses when people feel personally attacked but can undermine our ability to identify problems and find solutions.
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What kind of person is defensive?

A defensive person has trouble accepting responsibility for their speech and actions. They have difficulty with constructive criticism and may mistakenly take it as a perceived threat. Anyone can be triggered by a personal issue that causes them to have a defensive reaction.
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What does being defensive mean?

1 : serving to defend or protect (as the ego) face-saving is a common defensive reaction — Psychology Today. 2 : devoted to resisting or preventing aggression or attack defensive behavior. Other Words from defensive.
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What are defensive characteristics?

Defensive behaviors are a group of evolved responses to threat. They include flight, freezing, defensive threat, defensive attack, and risk assessment. The type of defensive behavior elicited in a particular situation depends on features of both the threat and the situation.
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Defensiveness: Psychology Behind Defensive Behavior



How can you tell if someone is defensive?

Signs You Are Defensive
  1. Stop listening to the other person.
  2. Make excuses about whatever you are being criticized about.
  3. Blame the other person for what they are criticizing you about.
  4. Accuse the other person of doing the same thing.
  5. Try to justify your actions.
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How do you deal with a defensive person?

Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:
  1. Refrain from reacting defensively. ...
  2. Shift your focus to the other person. ...
  3. Ask questions until you understand them. ...
  4. Move toward a resolution.
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What is an example of defensive?

The definition of defensive is something designed to protect or secure, or being quick to defend against criticism or anticipating criticism or complaint. When a country builds up its army in preparation for an attack to secure its borders, this is an example of when it takes a defensive position.
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Is being defensive a good thing?

Sometimes, being a fierce self-advocate can trip you up. You may think that being quick to defend yourself is a good thing, but the reality is that isn't always true. People who grow up loved and supported aren't typically defensive unless they're threatened.
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Why do I get defensive easily?

Feeling defensive "is a natural self-protection mechanism that we have inside us", says Dr Kate Renshall, a clinical psychologist based in Sydney. "I think we all get defensive when somebody pushes on something that feels too close to home, or touches on something we already might doubt about ourselves."
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How do you talk to someone who is defensive?

3 ways to start a conversation with a defensive person:
  1. Calmly state your intentions up-front. For particularly sensitive topics that you're almost sure will generate a defensive response, it can be helpful to just anticipate it. ...
  2. Avoid leading with an accusation. ...
  3. Steer clear of “always,” “never,” and “you” statements.
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Are Narcissists defensive?

The best kind of narcissist

Vulnerable narcissists are likely to be more defensive and view the behaviour of others as hostile, whereas grandiose narcissists usually have an over inflated sense of importance and a preoccupation with status and power.
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What is defensiveness in a relationship?

When you become defensive in a conversation with your partner, you react to their words without listening to what they're saying. More often than not, you attempt to ward off the perceived attack by turning the tables on them. “It's not my fault that we're always late; it's your fault.”
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What is the root of defensiveness?

The Causes of Defensiveness

Defensive behavior can be a complex and murky issue. For many people, their behavioral patterns stem from emotional, mental, or personality issues/tendencies developed over the course of their lifetimes (feelings of abandonment, inferiority, low self-esteem, narcissism, etc.).
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Is defensiveness a trauma response?

Defensiveness shows itself through trauma for a variety of reasons. According to science, defensiveness is a common symptom for those who struggle with trauma, especially those who struggle with trauma related to sexual violence.
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Is defensiveness a character trait?

Defensiveness, which is inherently passive, often switches into an aggressive attack. The person who initially feels under attack can be quick to shift gears and go on the attack. Why does he do this? On an inner level, his passivity is deemed to be a deplorable trait.
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How do you respond to someone without being defensive?

Ways To Communicate Without Being Defensive
  1. Be Secure In Who You Are. You're less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it's not true. ...
  2. Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. ...
  3. Use "I" Statements. ...
  4. Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. ...
  5. Learn How To Receive Criticism. ...
  6. It's OK To Be Wrong.
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How do you deal with a defensive partner?

11 Ways to Deal with Defensive Behavior in Your Spouse
  1. Foster a Safe Place for a Conversation. ...
  2. Watch Your Own Reaction. ...
  3. Don't Pull Away. ...
  4. Keep an Open Mind. ...
  5. Don't Let Criticism Take Over. ...
  6. Focus on Conflict Resolution, Not Debate. ...
  7. Stay Calm Yet Assertive. ...
  8. Don't Leave Anything Unfinished.
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Why do I get defensive with my partner?

“A simple acknowledgment that you've heard your partner can be enough to diffuse the situation. Defensiveness is a gut reaction to feeling alone or unfairly attacked or criticized. However, having that defensiveness be a default reaction sends a message to your partner that their feelings don't matter.
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What is a defensive skill?

a. The means or tactics used in trying to stop the opposition from scoring. b. The team or those players on the team attempting to stop the opposition from scoring.
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How does defensiveness affect communication?

Defensiveness creates inefficient and damaging communication in social interactions when people deny their flaws, project their flaws on others, or use judgmental communication techniques.
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What is the opposite of being defensive?

Opposite of intended to protect someone or something. offensive. attacking. careless. harmful.
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When someone gets defensive Are they lying?

Simply put, if the person seems to be over-explaining their situation and is angered by your questions, they could have something to hide. On the other hand, experts are quick to point out that when someone is defensive, it isn't always a sign that they're lying.
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What is the difference between offensive and defensive?

Offensive behavior is characterized as an attacking and active attitude, while defensive behavior, coming from the recipient of all action and intention, is a combination of alertness and a passive position.
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How do you communicate with a defensive partner?

When communicating your feelings:
  1. Stick to the facts. ...
  2. Use “I” statements. ...
  3. Do not mirror the defensive person's anger. ...
  4. Raise your hand up towards the other person with an open palm, to signal stop. ...
  5. Repeat yourself. ...
  6. Physically remove yourself.
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