What is a shiva meal?

Shiva Meal (Seudat Havra-ah) is a meal of condolence prepared by friends to provide the mourners

mourners

A mourner is someone who is attending a funeral or who is otherwise recognized as in a period of grief and mourning prescribed either by religious law or by popular custom.

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sustenance following the burial. The meal should contain round foods (symbolizing life and renewal), such as hard-boiled eggs, bagels or lentils.

What is typical Shiva food?

Suggested items for a Shiva basket are: baked goods and desserts, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts or chocolates. A Shiva platter usually contains cooked meats, fish and/or specialty salads. If the mourners keep a Kosher home, it is imperative to choose Kosher food to send.

What is forbidden during Shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

What happens at a Shiva?

Shiva is the 7 day Jewish mourning period. During shiva, friends and family visit those who are mourning as an act of support and friendship. Visitors, along with the mourners sit, nosh (eat) and through conversation, celebrate the life that has ended. Sitting Shiva is the tradition of mourning in the Jewish religion.

What do guests do at a Shiva?

During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. During this first week, family members usually don't go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives. Guests are usually welcome to come to the home during this first week, and spend time with and pray with the family.

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What color do you wear to a shiva?

In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning. And that can vary from family to family.

What not to say at a shiva house?

A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).

What is the proper etiquette for shiva?

The tradition suggests being silent, allowing the mourner to open the conversation. Simply offering a hug, a kiss, a handshake, an arm around the shoulder speaks volumes. If you do want to open a conversation, start with a simple “I'm so sorry” or “I don't know what to say.

Can you shower during shiva?

Prohibited acts—Under Jewish law, those sitting Shiva are expressly prohibited from engaging in a number of activities, including: Leaving the Shiva home, except to attend synagogue on Shabbat. Shaving or cutting hair. Bathing (though basic hygiene is allowed)

Do you wear shoes at a shiva?

In some customs, the mourners refrain from wearing leather shoes. Some wear shoes of canvas or cloth. Others wear no shoes at all during shiva. Visitors may wear whatever footwear is appropriate, but should not wear non-leather shoes unless appropriate with the outfit worn.

Do you wear black at a shiva?

You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.

Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.

How long do you sit Shiva for a spouse?

The shiva meaning is literally “seven” – a period of seven days when a Jewish family has a formal mourning time to honor their loved one. According to Jewish law, individuals should sit shiva after losing a parent, spouse, sibling, or child.

What is a Shiva platter?

Shiva platter (or basket) is a customary condolence gift containing a variety of food items that is sent to the home of those sitting Shiva following the loss of a loved one.

Can you wear shorts to a Shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.

Why do you sit on low chairs during Shiva?

The people sitting shiva sit on low benches as a sign of mourning. While the funeral home provides chairs, one could also use a couch with the cushions removed or even sit on the floor. This is a symbol of depression that the mourner is experiencing.

Can you change clothes during shiva?

Laundering and Wearing Clothes

Laundered clothes must not be worn during the shiva, even if they were laundered before the person became a mourner. Members of the mourner's household who are not themselves mourners are allowed to launder their clothes, and are allowed to wear laundered clothes.

Can you take food home from a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.

Do non-Jews sit Shiva?

Sitting Shiva Protocol and Customs

Though shiva is a religious event, any non-Jews are welcome to this event. It's customary to make a shiva call before visiting a family during shiva. This call is to remind mourners that they're not alone.

Does shiva drink alcohol?

In the hindu scriptures, Shiva is described to be someone who enjoys his meat and his alcohol. He is smeared with ashes from the dead and is considered the destroyer while Vishnu is the creator. Hence, Shiva is worshipped differently from the other Gods.

Are you supposed to bring something to a shiva?

In many Orthodox communities, mourners usually aren't expected to bring food or gifts to the shiva. Close friends of the family or members of the community will organize food for mourners.

How long should you stay at a shiva call?

Shiva calls are short, usually twenty to thirty minutes in total. The purpose of a shiva call isn't to pay a social visit—it's to physically demonstrate that you're available for the mourner. Twenty to thirty minutes is usually enough to demonstrate this sentiment.

Can I wear jeans to a shiva call?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.

What do you bring to a family sitting shiva?

Is sitting shiva in the Bible?

"Sitting" shiva

As mentioned in the Book of Job, upon mourning, Job's friends "sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights". Therefore, originally, individuals who were observing a period of mourning were required to turn couches or beds over and sit on the ground.