What is a defensive communication trying to protect?

Defensive communication happens when a message triggers a sense of threat, and therefore defensiveness, on the part of the listener. Defensive communication involves not only the actual verbal message, but also body language, tone of voice and perceived meaning and intention as well.
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What is the purpose of defensiveness?

Purpose of Defensiveness

Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. The objective (whether you realize it or not) is to shift attention to the faults of the other person, so that in turn you feel better about yourself in the moment.
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What is an example of a defensive response?

We refuse to give information to someone as a way to trap him/her into doing something inappropriate or making a mistake. Example: We might just stare the person and not answer a question she asks until she gets embarrassed and drops it or gets angry and says something that inappropriate.
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What is defensive communicative pattern?

Defensive communication is a communicative behavior that occurs within relationships, work environments, and social groups when an individual reacts in a defensive manner in response to a self-perceived flaw or a threat from outsiders.
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What is defensive and supportive communication?

Defensive behaviors are carried out when a person feels threatened during communication and hence the need to defend him or herself. Supportive communication is important as humans interact, as people need to feel a connection with other people.
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Defensiveness: Psychology Behind Defensive Behavior



What is defensive and non defensive communication?

We are using non-defensive communication when we ask questions, make statements and predict consequences in an open, sincere way without trying to control how other people respond. We can gather accurate information, speak with clarity, protect ourselves, and hold others more accountable.
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What behavior style is defensive?

Defensive behavior is defined as that behavior which occurs when an individual perceives threat or anticipates threat in the group. The person who behaves defensively, even though he or she also gives some attention to the common task, devotes an appreciable portion of energy to defending himself or herself.
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How do you communicate with a defensive person?

Use 'I' statements

One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using “I” statements. This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person.
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Which of the following is considered a defensive behavior?

A defensive person has trouble accepting responsibility for their speech and actions. They have difficulty with constructive criticism and may mistakenly take it as a perceived threat. Anyone can be triggered by a personal issue that causes them to have a defensive reaction.
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What does it mean to be defensive in a relationship?

When you become defensive in a conversation with your partner, you react to their words without listening to what they're saying. More often than not, you attempt to ward off the perceived attack by turning the tables on them. “It's not my fault that we're always late; it's your fault.”
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What causes defensive communication?

Defensive communication happens when a message triggers a sense of threat, and therefore defensiveness, on the part of the listener. Defensive communication involves not only the actual verbal message, but also body language, tone of voice and perceived meaning and intention as well.
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How can a defensive person resolve conflict?

Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:
  1. Refrain from reacting defensively. ...
  2. Shift your focus to the other person. ...
  3. Ask questions until you understand them. ...
  4. Move toward a resolution.
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What is the root of defensiveness?

The Causes of Defensiveness

Defensive behavior can be a complex and murky issue. For many people, their behavioral patterns stem from emotional, mental, or personality issues/tendencies developed over the course of their lifetimes (feelings of abandonment, inferiority, low self-esteem, narcissism, etc.).
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What causes defensive behavior?

Summary: Research has shown that defensiveness in response to wrongdoing is exacerbated by making the wrong doer feel like they're an outcast. Defensive behaviours are common responses when people feel personally attacked but can undermine our ability to identify problems and find solutions.
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How do you communicate with a defensive spouse?

When communicating your feelings:
  1. Stick to the facts. ...
  2. Use “I” statements. ...
  3. Do not mirror the defensive person's anger. ...
  4. Raise your hand up towards the other person with an open palm, to signal stop. ...
  5. Repeat yourself. ...
  6. Physically remove yourself.
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What does it mean when someone gets defensive when asked a question?

Generally, when people talk about someone becoming defensive in the context of a conversation, they are meaning that that someone is engaging in emotionally defensive maneuvers designed to ward off their having to experience some unwanted feeling or admit responsibility for some disowned act.
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Which communicative statement indicates a defensive response?

A "closed" position, such as crossing arms, conveys a defensive attitude. It is essential to sit facing the patient, because this posture conveys the message that the nurse is there to listen to what the patient is saying.
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How do you communicate without making someone defensive?

Ways To Communicate Without Being Defensive
  1. Be Secure In Who You Are. You're less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it's not true. ...
  2. Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. ...
  3. Use "I" Statements. ...
  4. Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. ...
  5. Learn How To Receive Criticism. ...
  6. It's OK To Be Wrong.
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What is controlling communication?

Control Communications is the process of monitoring and controlling communications throughout the entire project life cycle to ensure the information needs of the project stakeholders are met.
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What is an example of a supportive communication response?

8. Supportive Listening, Not One-Way Listening A focus on using a variety of appropriate responses, with a bias toward reflective responses. Example: "Can you tell me your thoughts about this project/idea?" NOT "Excuse me - I have the floor!"
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What are the five characteristics of a supportive communication?

Attributes of Supportive Communication
  • Problem oriented, not person oriented. ...
  • Congruent, not incongruent. ...
  • Descriptive, not evaluative. ...
  • Validating, not invalidating. ...
  • Specific, not global. ...
  • Conjunctive, not disjunctive. ...
  • Owned, not disowned. ...
  • Listening, not one-way message delivery.
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What is a supportive communication style?

Supportive Communication Style

High sociability means they're very friendly, outgoing, helpful, and thoughtful; They're quick to form relationships and business friendships. Supportive communicators like a lot of information. They like to take their time to make decisions and absorb information.
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Why does my husband get defensive when I ask questions?

He is defensive because he is defensive. You two have to be able to discuss unpleasant subjects or your relationship won't get very far. You need to evaluate how you are approaching him with issues, and he needs to man up and be able to take criticism without going inside his shell and blaming you for making him do it.
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How do I stop being defensive and argumentative?

How to Not Be Defensive
  1. Know your triggers and anticipate them. ...
  2. Give it a name. ...
  3. Assume good intentions. ...
  4. Don't take it personally. ...
  5. Adopt a growth mindset. ...
  6. Exercise self-compassion.
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