What does being a flying monkey mean?

Flying monkeys are people who actively participate in a narcissist's smear campaign. The goal of the campaign is to destroy the target's reputation. Flying monkeys carry out much of the narcissist's dirty work, allowing the narc to keep their hands clean.
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What does it mean to call someone a flying monkey?

Anyone who remembers watching the Wizard of Oz as a child will probably remember how horrifying the Wicked Witch of the West's flying monkeys were. These monkeys were sent by the witch to do her dirty work, and the phrase has since become synonymous with people who end up doing the dirty work of a narcissist.
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How do I know if I am a flying monkey?

On a more individual level, you might be a “flying monkey” if you spread rumors and gossip. Or if you start acting hostile towards somebody after hearing rumors and gossip about them, without checking their side of the story.
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Why do narcissists recruit flying monkeys?

Narcissists live in a make believe world, but they need others to believe in that world too. By recruiting followers, flying monkeys, they are creating a cult around themselves with them at the centre as the worshipful leader.
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How do you shutdown a flying monkey?

Here are three tips on how to disable flying monkeys and send them on their way.
  1. Run Their Comments through a Filter of Truth. Flying Monkeys can't mess with your mind if you don't let them. ...
  2. Educate as Many as You Can. ...
  3. Refuse to Play Their Games.
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What are "flying monkeys"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)



Do narcissists turn on their flying monkeys?

When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
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Do flying monkeys apologize?

As a general rule, flying monkeys support the narcissist, they try to manipulate the victim into reconciling with the narcissist, flying monkeys apologize for the narcissist, they participate in the narcissist's smear campaign of the victim, and if needed, they help dismantle the no contact method.
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Why are narcissists targeted?

"They get targeted if they are in good shape, they exercise a lot, and take care of their appearance. I've also seen people specifically targeted if they are of a religious faith, then the person either tries to get them to do things that go against their faith principles, or somehow break [them] down."
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How do you spot a narcissist?

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
  1. Grandiose sense of self-importance. ...
  2. Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. ...
  3. Needs constant praise and admiration. ...
  4. Sense of entitlement. ...
  5. Exploits others without guilt or shame. ...
  6. Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.
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What is hoovering by a narcissist?

Coined after the Hoover vacuum, hoovering is a calculating scheme commonly used by narcissists to "suck" you up into their orbit and get you back into their life. It's an energetically draining dynamic that perpetuates a toxic pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discardment.
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How do you respond to a narcissist smear campaign?

Let them know you are the target of a smear campaign and to not believe what your ex is saying about you. Inform them your ex is creating “spin” to the point that what they are saying is fiction and a waste of time to believe. Be forthright, convincing, and firm. State your side once, then let it go.
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What is word salad narcissist?

NPD Meaning: The term narcissistic word salad is essentially a misuse of an important psychological term. Instead of referring to an involuntary verbal sign of a severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia, it is being used as a slang term for a type of narcissistic speech that is purposefully confusing.
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What are the red flags of a narcissist?

Self-importance

Having manipulative tendencies. Engaging in a whirlwind romance. Lacking compassion or a severe lack of empathy for others. Love bombing.
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What kind of woman do narcissists like?

In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
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What kind of childhood trauma causes narcissism?

The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
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What type of person is attracted to a narcissist?

Empaths are drawn to narcissists, and narcissists love taking advantage: "Since narcissists rely on exclusive focus and attention, an empathic person would naturally appeal to them," explains Dorfman.
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How do you confuse a narcissist?

11 Ways to Confuse and Disarm a Narcissist
  1. 1 Be unpredictable.
  2. 2 Say “no” when they ask for favors.
  3. 3 Remove all emotion from your reactions to them.
  4. 4 Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.
  5. 5 Guard your sensitive information closely.
  6. 6 Walk away while they're talking.
  7. 7 Cut off all communication.
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What weird things do narcissists do?

One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
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Are flying monkeys innocent?

Flying monkeys may believe themselves to be peacemakers and innocent of doing any kind of wrong. They think they are listening to all sides and being neutral despite the great joy they get from spreading lies and gossip on behalf of the narcissist.
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Do narcissist discard flying monkeys?

With no loyalty for anyone, the narcissist easily discards the flying monkeys when they have done the damage intended. There are two general types of flying monkeys – 'complicit and willing' (conspirator) and 'well-meaning dupes' (deluded).
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What does love bombing look like?

Anyone can love bomb, but the most common offenders suffer from unhealthy attachment issues or narcissistic traits. Love bombing might look like someone constantly complimenting you or wanting to be around you, dramatic professions of love and devotion, or bombarding you with grand gestures or expensive gifts.
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How do you gray rock a narcissist?

How to use the grey rock method
  1. Stay neutral and disengaged.
  2. Don't give them your attention.
  3. Keep interactions short and sweet.
  4. Don't give away personal information.
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What is triangulation in a relationship?

Triangulation happens when one or both of the people involved in the conflict try to pull a third person into the dynamic, often with the goal of: deflecting some of the tension. creating another conflict to take the spotlight off the original issue.
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How do you outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
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