What does a manipulative apology sound like?

Apologies that take no responsibility for their actions sound a lot like “I'm sorry you feel that way,” rather than “I'm sorry I made you feel that way.” Although I personally believe that learning how to keep one's emotions in-check is key to having a more logical perspective on every situation, I also believe that ...
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How do manipulators apologize?

If the manipulator apologizes, they do it in a way that points the finger back at you. The underlying message is, “I'm sorry you think I did (or said) something wrong, but ultimately, that's on you. I'm innocent, you're overreacting, and I'm hurt that you would attack me this way.”
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Do manipulators say sorry?

This type of apology is given by manipulators and victims alike. At certain points, a situation or relationship can become so uncomfortable that the participants will do or say anything to put an end to it. That's where this apology comes into play. It doesn't stem from shame, guilt, or any real sense of remorse.
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What a real apology sounds like?

A real apology has three main components: (1) it acknowledges the actions taken and resulting pain inflicted on you; (2) it provides an action plan for how s/he will right the wrong; and (3) there is an actual change in behavior proving to you that there won't be a repeat of the past.
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What is a backhanded apology?

A non-apology apology, sometimes called a backhanded apology, nonpology, or fauxpology, is a statement in the form of an apology that does not express remorse, or assigns fault to those ostensibly receiving the apology.
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How to spot an emotionally manipulative apology



How does a narcissist apologize?

In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as in, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
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How do you spot an insincere apology?

A fake apology:
  1. Has an insincere tone of voice, sometimes accompanied by body language, like sighing and eye-rolling, to further communicate their true feelings.
  2. Tries to make the other person feel weak for wanting the apology. ...
  3. Manipulates the person apologized to, usually in order to get something the apologizer wants.
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How do you know if he is truly sorry?

  • He doesn't get condescending. Things like "I'm sorry you feel that way," "That wasn't my intention, but sorry you're offended," and the like are not real apologies. ...
  • He doesn't interrupt you. ...
  • He repeats what you're saying. ...
  • He's upset that you're upset. ...
  • He doesn't make the same mistake again.
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How do you fake an apology?

The Top 12 Fake Apologies -- And What Makes For An Authentic Apology
  1. I am sorry if . . . ...
  2. I am sorry that you . . . ...
  3. I am sorry but . . . ...
  4. I was just . . . ...
  5. I have already . . . ...
  6. I regret . . . ...
  7. I know I . . . ...
  8. You know I . . .
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When a guy apologizes What does it mean?

Saying it requires vulnerability to admit wrongdoing and the hurt that that wrongdoing has inflicted on the person you're apologizing to. To be truly sorry means feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation and your role in it.
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What is a defensive apology?

2. The defensive apology. This one takes a bit of finesse and sleight-of-hand to pull off and it may actually work in the moment; it usually includes more than a little blame-shifting too. Yes, the words “I'm sorry” are included in this one; it's the construction of the apology you have to pay attention to.
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What are the signs that someone is manipulating you?

13 Signs Someone Might Be Manipulating You
  • They Guilt Trip You. Shutterstock. ...
  • They Ignore Your Input. ...
  • They Don't Give You Time To Make Decisions. ...
  • They Don't Help Resolve Problems. ...
  • They Undermine Your Self-Confidence. ...
  • They Force You Out Of Your Comfort Zone. ...
  • They Butter You Up With Small Requests. ...
  • They Offer The Silent Treatment.
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What is an empty apology?

The Empty Apology.

It's what you say to someone when you know you need to apologize, but are so annoyed or frustrated that you can't muster even a modicum of real feeling to put behind it. So you go through the motions, literally saying the words, but not meaning it.
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What is considered manipulative behavior?

Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
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What should you not say in an apology?

3 Things Not To Do When Apologizing
  • Don't Say “If” Let's take the first part of the apology: ...
  • Don't Justify Your Action. Let's take the second part of the apology: ...
  • Don't Make It About You. Let's take the third and final part of the apology: ...
  • Apologizing The Right Way.
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How do you write a backhanded apology?

The Back-handed Apology
  1. “I'm sorry you feel that way.” (About my inability to hold a passing interest in our discussion)
  2. “I'm sorry that things just didn't work out.” (…with our relationship, because I cheated on you)
  3. “It stinks that I didn't make it.” (…and instead was late, missing the movie)
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What do you say when a narcissist apologizes?

How to Respond to a Narcissist's Apology
  1. 1 Recognize the signs of a bad apology.
  2. 2 Ask them if they can see your perspective.
  3. 3 Communicate your boundaries clearly.
  4. 4 Let them know you're disappointed in them.
  5. 5 Tell them you won't accept an apology at the moment.
  6. 6 Keep yourself safe from an outburst.
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Is Im sorry you feel that way Gaslighting?

The “I'm sorry you feel that way” approach, along with avoiding an argument in lieu of admitting fault, is good old fashioned gaslighting.
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How do you know a guy feels guilty for hurting you?

13 Signs He Knows He Hurt You (And Feels Guilty)
  • He's being defensive. ...
  • He's making light of the situation. ...
  • He's quieter than usual. ...
  • He's trying to buy your love back. ...
  • He's being more attentive than usual. ...
  • He's being more romantic. ...
  • He's picking fights with you. ...
  • He's making the effort to change.
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What to say when he apologizes for hurting you?

Accept a sincere apology by letting him know that you are willing to let it go. You might say, “Thanks for the apology and I understand that you're sorry. I'm sure you won't do it again.” If you absolutely must correct the situation, respond with kindness. You might say, “Thanks for letting me know you're sorry.
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How do you know if a guy is hurt after a breakup?

1) He Can't Stop Speaking To You

First up, one of the most obvious signs he's hurting after the breakup, is if he can't stop talking to you. He's texting, he's calling, he's trying to find reasons to meet up. Perhaps he's even said about missing you or wanting to get back with you.
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What to say when someone apologizes and you don't forgive them?

Here are some ways to respond in this situation:
  1. “I hear your apology, thank you”
  2. “I appreciate your apology”
  3. “I need time, but I accept your apology”
  4. “I know apologizing isn't easy, but we need to talk another time”
  5. Listen.
  6. Decide How To Move Forward.
  7. Don't Skip Back To Normal.
  8. Accept Or Do Not Accept.
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How do you respond when someone says sorry you feel that way?

First (for anyone down the back), actually say sorry. Second, validate and acknowledge (for example, "I see why you'd be upset by that"). Third, take ownership, and finally, ask how you can move forward – maybe you can compromise and do something different next time.
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What are narcissist most afraid of?

Narcissists are terrified of being alone, and their greatest fear is abandonment. Setting clear boundaries or not reacting to their chaotic manipulation will cause them to become afraid of losing you even though they may never admit it.
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Can a narcissist apologize and mean it?

Someone with NPD or narcissistic behaviors is unlikely to do things like apologize or sing your praises without it being self-serving. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a “narcissist.”
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