What do you say when you visit a shiva house?

Before leaving, one stands up, approaches the mourner
mourner
A mourner is someone who is attending a funeral or who is otherwise recognized as in a period of grief and mourning prescribed either by religious law or by popular custom.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Mourner
and recites, “HaMakom yenacheim etchem betoch sha'ar aveiliei Tzion v'Yerushalayim”—May the Almighty comfort you among those who mourn for Zion and Jerusalem.
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What do you say to someone at shiva?

Your stay at the shiva should be brief—less than an hour—as it's an exhausting process for the people sitting shiva. When you leave, keep your words concise and simple. A traditional sentiment often expressed at this time is “May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
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What not to say at a shiva house?

A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).
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What do guests do at a shiva?

During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. During this first week, family members usually don't go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives. Guests are usually welcome to come to the home during this first week, and spend time with and pray with the family.
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How do you pay respects at shiva?

Sitting Shiva Etiquette
  1. Find the Right Time to Visit. Check with friends or family at the end of the funeral service for the right time(s) to visit. ...
  2. Dress Appropriately. ...
  3. Wash Your Hands. ...
  4. Just Walk In. ...
  5. Bring or Send Food.
  6. Find the Mourner. ...
  7. Talk to Friends. ...
  8. Consider the Length of Your Visit.
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Do you bring something to a shiva?

Food for the Shiva

A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook. You may bring a Shiva platter along with you on a visit. You can also send platters or a basket of food. Most of these provisions are intended for the mourners to ensure they are nourished.
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Do I wear black to a shiva?

You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.
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Do you bring a card to a shiva?

Such organizations often send a card to the mourners acknowledging your gift so your contribution will not go unappreciated. If you cannot make a shiva call in person, it is also appropriate to send a card or write a letter because the most important gift that you can provide to a friend in grief is your presence.
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What is forbidden during shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.
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How long should you stay at a shiva call?

Shiva calls are short, usually twenty to thirty minutes in total. The purpose of a shiva call isn't to pay a social visit—it's to physically demonstrate that you're available for the mourner. Twenty to thirty minutes is usually enough to demonstrate this sentiment.
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Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

Honor the Family with a Considerate Gift

Each family has different needs and wishes when it comes to sympathy gifts. However, in the Jewish faith, it's not appropriate to send flowers to the funeral, shiva, or other memorial events.
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How do you help someone sitting shiva?

6 Things to Do for a Friend Who's Sitting Shiva
  1. Ask about allergies and think outside the food box. Jews bring food after a death. ...
  2. Give a book. ...
  3. Talk about the deceased. ...
  4. Ask to help with the hard stuff. ...
  5. Focus on the present, not your phone. ...
  6. Cut the mourners some slack.
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Is there a dress code for a shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.
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Do you wear shoes at a shiva?

In some customs, the mourners refrain from wearing leather shoes. Some wear shoes of canvas or cloth. Others wear no shoes at all during shiva. Visitors may wear whatever footwear is appropriate, but should not wear non-leather shoes unless appropriate with the outfit worn.
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What do you say to mourners at shiva?

Before leaving, one stands up, approaches the mourner and recites, “HaMakom yenacheim etchem betoch sha'ar aveiliei Tzion v'Yerushalayim”—May the Almighty comfort you among those who mourn for Zion and Jerusalem.
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What colors do you wear to a shiva?

In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning. And that can vary from family to family.
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Can you take food out of a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.
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Can you drink alcohol during shiva?

Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However, this is not prohibited. A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook.
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Can you shower during shiva?

Mourners do not change their clothes during the week of Shiva. They do not wear leather shoes, but rather shoes of rubber or cloth, or slippers. Mourners do not shower and bathe during the week of Shiva, (though washing as required for personal bathroom hygiene is permitted).
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Do you sit Shiva at night?

During the traditional practices of sitting shiva, mourners stay home and hold a service each evening.
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Can I wear jeans to a Shiva call?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.
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What happens after sitting Shiva?

Shiva ends on the morning of either the third or seventh day. At the conclusion of Shiva, the mourners take a walk to symbolize moving forward. The next stage of grief in Jewish tradition is sheloshim. This word means 30 in Hebrew and this period lasts for 30 days.
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What is Lord Shiva's Favourite flower?

Lord Shiva

As per legend, Shiva consumed the poison that was obtained during the ocean churning. Doing so, Datura emerged from his chest and ever since, it is believed to be his favourite flower.
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What flowers shiva likes?

4. Lord Shiva: The Destroyer of the Universe and the ultimate power - Lord Shiva is never offered lovely flowers as he loves Datura, Dry lotus, Nerium Oleander flower (Kaner flower), Kusum, Aak, Kush, etc.
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What is Shiva favorite food?

03/11Lord Shiva

The Mahayogi loves kand-mool as per the shashtras. His favouries include bhang, dhatura, milk, thandai and sweets white in colour.
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