What do you say to someone who overshares?

Try not to make too much time for an oversharer, etiquette expert Melissa Leonard said. Listen, don't ask too many questions, shake your head with sympathy and try saying something brief like, “I'm so sorry you're going through that” or “Oh, wow, that sounds great — let's catch up later,” she suggested.

What is the root cause of oversharing?

Experts say oversharing often happens when we are trying subconsciously to control our own anxiety. This effort is known as "self regulation" and here is how it works: When having a conversation, we can use up a lot of mental energy trying to manage the other person's impression of us.

Is oversharing a form of manipulation?

For one thing, oversharing can damage relationships. When you overshare, you open up to judgment and criticism from others. You also become vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation. If you share too much with someone, they may start to use your information against you.

What type of person overshares?

If a person is a narcissist, or they feel inadequate, they often end up sharing everything that comes to mind to make sure they are heard. The insecurity of feeling ignored or too much self-validation overpowers their ability to decide what to share or not.

How do you respond to someone oversharing?

Oversharing: Psychology Behind Revealing Personal Details

What is oversharing a symptom of?

Oversharing can all too often be a smokescreen for a serious psychological issue, including things like anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. And the first hint can be whether you can control your blather or not.

Why is oversharing a red flag?

Why Oversharing is a problem? Oversharing can also make others feel uncomfortable, which may lead them to avoid being around you. Once you say something, you can never take it back. If you overshare via social media, you may damage your reputation and hurt professional opportunities.

Is oversharing a trauma response?

If you live with complex trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trauma dumping or oversharing could be a natural trauma response and coping mechanism.

Is oversharing a lack of boundaries?

Oversharing is a common struggle among people who lack personal boundaries. It's not a conscious decision, but it often leaves us feeling icky and depleted. Oversharing usually comes from a desire to connect.

Is oversharing selfish?

Oversharing is about poor boundaries. It's a misplaced request for emotional labour or support that is inappropriate for the wider situation or the relationship with another person. It comes from a purely selfish place.

Is oversharing a defense mechanism?

Studies have shown that oversharing becomes a defense mechanism for individuals with low self-esteem.

What are the consequences of oversharing?

Being careless with your privacy can open you and your family up to everything, from cyberbullying and theft to extortion and kidnap. Criminals can use social media geo-tagging, landmarks and research into your typical behaviour or schedule.

How do you bounce back from Oversharing?

Is Overexplaining a trauma response?

Remember: Over-explaining is a trauma response designed to avoid conflict. “The logic behind fawning is that if a person does anything and everything they can to please the person who is trying to hurt them, that person might not follow through with the abusive behavior,” says Fenkel.

Why do narcissists overshare?

Why do narcissists overshare? If a person is a narcissist, or they feel inadequate, they often end up sharing everything that comes to mind to make sure they are heard. The insecurity of feeling ignored or too much self-validation overpowers their ability to decide what to share or not.

Is overexplaining yourself a trauma response?

Overexplaining might be a type of response to past trauma, also known as the fawn response, Nobrega says. (The others, which you might be more familiar with, are fight, flight, and freeze.) “Fawn is a trauma response where a person reverts to people pleasing,” she explains.

Is oversharing self sabotage?

Examples of Self-Sabotage

Here are just a few real-world examples: Eating unhealthy food when you're trying to eat more sensibly. Missing important events without a valid excuse. Oversharing (could be unconscious)

Is oversharing a symptom of loneliness?

“Your anxiety makes you talk uncontrollably [and] the more you share the more anxious you get but you can't stop,” she says. Lastly, the clinical psychologist says oversharing can also be linked to “a part of you that feels lonely and is looking for connection.”

What's the difference between sharing and oversharing?

If you share your mistakes in an effort to help others learn, you are being authentic. If, however, you share your hardships to gain pity, you're oversharing.

What does oversharing say about you?

A common reason for oversharing is the desire to build depth and emotional intimacy before the relationship is ready. This can often be connected to stress or a fear of not being liked by the person. First dates, new coworkers, or mutual friends often elicit this oversharing.

What causes overexplaining?

According to Banks, overexplaining can be a trauma response and can develop as a result of gaslighting. She adds that anxiety or ADHD can also lead to overexplaining and it can happen to those who grew up with a strict upbringing where “you had to justify your choices”.

Is oversharing vulnerable?

“Oversharing is not vulnerability. In fact, it often results in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.”

What are the biggest red flags in a person?

Is oversharing a trait of ADHD?

It's common for people with ADHD to overshare information. People may be impulsive and not stop to think about what they're saying. Treating ADHD can help people improve self-control and think about consequences.

Should you apologise for oversharing?

Make a brief, light apology

A few examples (said in a quick, casual tone): "Sorry, that joke was in poor taste." "Sorry, I just realized I cut you off a few times." "Sorry, I'm oversharing.