What do you do when you sit Shiva?

It is a time referred to as – “sitting shiva” and its primary purpose is to provide a time for spiritual and emotional healing, where mourners join together. A person sits shiva for a parent, spouse, sibling or child. Shabbat is considered part of the shiva period and does not end the mourning.

What do you say when you leave a shiva?

How long do you have to sit shiva?

Children, siblings, parents, and spouses of the deceased have a religious obligation to observe Shiva or to sit Shiva. The Shiva begins immediately after the burial and lasts for seven days. A pitcher of water, a basin, and towel are placed outside the front door for use upon returning from the cemetery.

What are the rules of sitting shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

Can you eat meat during shiva?

Furthermore, mourners at this stage may not eat meat or drink wine. If the period between death and burial extends over the Shabbat, then these customs are not adopted (except for refraining from marital relations), though they begin again following the Shabbat. Shiva commences immediately after burial.

Jewish Guide to Shiva Practices and Helping Your Friend in Mourning

What is appropriate to bring to a shiva?

Suggested items for a Shiva basket are: baked goods and desserts, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts or chocolates. A Shiva platter usually contains cooked meats, fish and/or specialty salads. If the mourners keep a Kosher home, it is imperative to choose Kosher food to send.

What do you say at a shiva house?

It is a mitzvah to visit a house of mourning during Shiva. We visit to offer friendship and sympathy to the mourner. It is customary to say to the mourners: Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”

Can I wear jeans to a shiva?

Though there is no specific shiva attire, when attending a shiva you should dress respectfully. Men should wear long pants and women should dress conservatively. If the shiva is being held in the home of an orthodox Jewish family, women will be expected to wear long skirts (below the knees) and long-sleeved shirts.

How do you prepare for shiva?

What should you not do at a shiva house?

What should you not bring to a shiva?

Avoid food that requires work on the part of the mourners. Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva.

What color do you wear to a shiva?

This is a religious tradition, there is no obligation to do so. What do I wear? Many people are not sure how to dress to Shiva. There is no specific dress code.

What prayers are said during shiva?

The Minyan & The Kaddish

Jewish law requires mourners to recite the mourner's Kaddish three times each day during shiva. Since a minyan is required to say the mourner's Kaddish and mourners should not leave their house, friends and family come to the home to enable the bereaved to fulfill this Mitzvah.

What do you put in a shiva basket?

Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates. The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days. This is a traditional shiva gift and is appropriate to give to a Jewish family in mourning.

Can non-Jews sit Shiva?

Customs, Ritual & Protocol

Shiva takes place within the home of the spouse, parent, sibling or husband of the deceased. And, while Shiva is a Jewish event, non-Jews are welcome to attend. During Shiva, the community will visit the grieving family to pay their respects.

What happens at a shiva call?

During this time, family members traditionally gather in one home to receive visitors. The word “shiva” means seven, signifying the seven day mourning period in which mourners are supposed to sit low to the ground. Shiva is a time to show support to the family of the person who died.

Can you shave during shiva?

Shiva – seven days

Observance of shiva is referred to by English-speaking Jews as "sitting shiva". During this period, mourners traditionally gather in one home and receive visitors. When they get home, the mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes or jewelry, or shaving.

Do you wear black to a shiva call?

Making a shiva call isn't going to be a party in any sense, but neither will it be a dark, depressing visit. In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning.

Why do you walk around the block after shiva?

At the end of shiva, the mourners may walk once around their block. This symbolizes they are ready to resume daily life. Although they are not yet finished mourning, they have ended the first stage of mourning.

Why do Jews cover mirrors?

The death of human beings disrupts the connection between the living man and living God. Since the purpose of mirrors is to reflect such image, they are covered during mourning. A second reason mirrors are covered in Judaism branches from contemplation of one's relationship with God during the death of a loved one.

Do you send flowers for shiva?

In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.

Why do you cover mirrors at shiva?

Covering Mirrors

Mirrors are also covered as a way to remind us the observation of shiva is not about ourselves but rather a time to concentrate on the deceased. The concept of vanity is shunned as this is considered a time of self-reflection, to concentrate on one's inner self and not outward appearances.

Is it customary to bring food to a shiva?

In many Orthodox communities, mourners usually aren't expected to bring food or gifts to the shiva. Close friends of the family or members of the community will organize food for mourners. If you're not certain what to do, check with the family or synagogue before making a shiva call.

Why do you sit on a box during Shiva?

The people sitting shiva sit on low benches as a sign of mourning. While the funeral home provides chairs, one could also use a couch with the cushions removed or even sit on the floor. This is a symbol of depression that the mourner is experiencing.

How do you know that Lord Shiva is with you?

Signs you can expect

You'll see that nothing is filthy or lovely; everything has its own essence. You will no longer seek acceptance from others; the only approval you will require is from your own soul and Lord Shiva. You'll want to cry if you encounter someone in suffering or who is hungry.