What do you do at a wake?

A wake, also known as a viewing, visitation or gathering, typically occurs before the funeral takes place. An urn or a casket is typically present, and the casket may be opened or closed. At this time, people pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the departed.
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How long is appropriate to stay at a wake?

According to the The Funeral Source, it is appropriate for guests to stay at the wake for as little as 15 to 20 minutes. However, you should use your own discretion upon deciding when to leave. If you're close with the family, you may want to stay longer. Offer to help and socialize with the other guests at the wake.
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Do you have to go up to the body at a wake?

Most wakes do have the body present, and most often it is open-casket. But again, since the wake is a semi-informal event, you can attend and simply skip viewing the body. Just be prepared in the event that the casket is in the entry way or foyer.
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Do you give anything at a wake?

A wake may last a few hours, or the deceased's family may welcome mourners to their home over the course of a few days prior to the funeral. Bring edible gifts like casseroles, sandwiches, baked goods, or fruit baskets so the family doesn't have to worry about food. They may even share it with guests.
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What is proper etiquette for a wake?

Wakes tend to require less formal clothing than other traditional rituals, like funerals. In general, stick with neutral or muted colors. Avoid anything ostentatious or showy; keep it simple. Try to stay away from bold prints, and stick with comfortable dress shoes.
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How to Follow Proper Funeral Etiquette



What happens during a wake?

A wake, also known as a viewing, visitation or gathering, typically occurs before the funeral takes place. An urn or a casket is typically present, and the casket may be opened or closed. At this time, people pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the departed.
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Do you introduce yourself at a wake?

Generally speaking, the public is invited to attend the wake, even if there's no personal relationship with the family. In this scenario, it's polite to introduce yourself and mention your relationship to the loved ones.
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Is it okay to wear jeans to a wake?

Is it okay to wear jeans to a wake? You should not wear jeans to a wake or visitation if at all possible. In some instances where it is inevitable due to leaving directly from work, etc. paying your respects to the family and the deceased comes before inappropriate clothing.
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What do you say at a wake?

If attending the wake, you can say: "I wish we were here together under different circumstances.
...
Condolence quotes include:
  • "(Insert deceased individual's name) spoke highly and often of you- so much so that I feel as if I know you. ...
  • "It's hard to express just how sorry I am to hear about this loss.
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What's the purpose of a wake?

A wake (sometimes referred to as “calling hours”) is a more unstructured time where friends and family of the deceased come to pay their respects one last time, and in many cases to view the deceased before they are buried.
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How much do I give at a wake?

There is no set amount, as it should be a gift – so give whatever you think is enough, and gift from the heart. An amount of $10 is perfectly acceptable, and is usually dependent on your relationship with the family. Place your contributions in an envelope, and leave the envelope with a family member of the deceased.
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Is it better to attend a wake or a funeral?

Someone wise once said that you should attend the wake if you would like to show support to the survivors. You should attend the funeral if you need to grieve yourself. If you find yourself in both camps, attend both the wake and the funeral.
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Do you have a toast at a wake?

A toast or drinking ritual in someone's honour might form a part of an alternative civil funeral ceremony or celebration of life rites. A wake is often, but not always, held in a place where refreshments are available or expected.
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Are you supposed to wear black to a wake?

You don't have to wear black but a wake isn't the place to wear your leopard print blouse or salmon-colored khakis. Stick with neutral colors like navy, grey, and dark green. Keep your accessories simple. Your accessories should be simple and neutral.
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Can I wear jeans to a funeral?

The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.
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What can I expect at a Catholic wake?

Wakes are typically held in the days before the funeral mass. During a wake, you'll likely see either an open or closed casket at the front of the funeral home, surrounded by personal touches, photographs, memorabilia, a crucifix and flowers.
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What is a wake vs viewing?

Viewing Vs Wake

The key difference between a viewing and a wake is religion. While viewing is relatively an unstructured event, a wake has its roots in the Catholic church. A part of it usually includes a religious session involving a member of the clergy or a priest who reads holy texts or scriptures.
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Do you bring anything to a viewing?

What You Should Bring to a Funeral, Memorial Service, or Viewing. If you're asking whether you should bring a gift to a funeral service, the answer is generally yes. While a gift is not usually required to attend the service, it's considered polite not to arrive empty-handed.
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Do I bring anything to a funeral?

What Family Should Bring to a Funeral. Most of the time, family members bring keepsakes to honor a deceased loved one including items like photographs, guest books, funeral programs, and memorial cards.
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What kind of food do you serve at a funeral?

Our Top 5 Recommended Foods for a Funeral Reception
  • Casseroles. These easily reheat and can provide comfort to those who lost a loved one. ...
  • Finger foods. These can be great if you are serving a small group, as they're easy to prepare. ...
  • Meat and cheese trays. ...
  • Fruit and vegetable trays. ...
  • Salads.
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Can I wear grey to a funeral?

Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
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Is it disrespectful to not go to a funeral?

It's considered proper etiquette to pay your respects in another way if you're unable to attend the funeral. While you shouldn't feel guilty if you can't attend, you should take action to honor the deceased and their family.
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Can I wear leggings to a funeral?

Funeral Attire For Winter

The rules of what you wear inside will pretty much remain the same for a winter funeral (if it's indoors). You have some more details to pay attention to while layering up. Choose neutral or black color trench coats or long jackets, opaque leggings, and winter boots.
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Do bodies sit up when being cremated?

Does the body sit up during cremation? Yes, this can happen. Due to the heat and the muscle tissue, the body can move as the body is broken down, although this does happen inside the coffin, so it won't be visible.
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How long after wake is funeral?

Most American funerals take place within one week or less from death. With the help of a funeral home, a week is typically enough time to make arrangements and contact loved ones. Historically, funerals had to take place after just a matter of days, because of decomposition.
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