What are the rules for sitting shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

Can you change clothes during shiva?

Laundering and Wearing Clothes

Laundered clothes must not be worn during the shiva, even if they were laundered before the person became a mourner. Members of the mourner's household who are not themselves mourners are allowed to launder their clothes, and are allowed to wear laundered clothes.

What are the customs for sitting shiva?

During the period of shiva, mourners traditionally stay at the designated shiva home, refraining from going to work or school, or other outside activities. Other restrictions are also typically practiced by mourners, including shaving, bathing for pleasure, wearing leather shoes or cleaning their clothes.

What should you not bring to a shiva?

Avoid food that requires work on the part of the mourners. Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva.

Do you wear black to a shiva?

Making a shiva call isn't going to be a party in any sense, but neither will it be a dark, depressing visit. In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning.

Why Do Jews Sit Shiva?

What can you not do when sitting shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

Do you bring a card to a shiva?

Such organizations often send a card to the mourners acknowledging your gift so your contribution will not go unappreciated. If you cannot make a shiva call in person, it is also appropriate to send a card or write a letter because the most important gift that you can provide to a friend in grief is your presence.

Can you drink alcohol at a shiva?

Food for the Shiva

Once that first meal of condolence concludes, there are no food restrictions for mourners. Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However, this is not prohibited.

Do you wear shoes at a shiva?

In some customs, the mourners refrain from wearing leather shoes. Some wear shoes of canvas or cloth. Others wear no shoes at all during shiva. Visitors may wear whatever footwear is appropriate, but should not wear non-leather shoes unless appropriate with the outfit worn.

How long should you stay at a shiva call?

Shiva calls are short, usually twenty to thirty minutes in total. The purpose of a shiva call isn't to pay a social visit—it's to physically demonstrate that you're available for the mourner. Twenty to thirty minutes is usually enough to demonstrate this sentiment.

Can you take food from a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.

Why do we cover the mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.

Can I wash my hair during shiva?

Prohibited acts—Under Jewish law, those sitting Shiva are expressly prohibited from engaging in a number of activities, including: Leaving the Shiva home, except to attend synagogue on Shabbat. Shaving or cutting hair. Bathing (though basic hygiene is allowed)

Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.

Why do you cover mirrors when sitting shiva?

In folk tradition, people covered mirrors to prevent the dead from reaching out from “the other side.” Rabbis interpreted the custom of covering the mirrors to mean an emphasis on looking inward in grief, rather than on the physical.

Can you wear jeans to a shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.

Do you have to be invited to sit shiva?

First, when you arrive at the home sitting Shiva, you're encouraged to walk right in. During the Shiva period, the family's home is open to all who are willing to pay their respects. Essentially, everyone is welcome. As the visitor, your purpose is to honor the grief of the bereaved.

What not to say at a shiva house?

A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).

Is it better to go to funeral or shiva?

Attending a funeral or making a shiva call does not replace attending a shiva in person. If you live in the same state, it is customary to attend the funeral, make a shiva call, and attend the shiva. This shows the family and your community that you are present in times of suffering.

Can you eat meat during shiva?

Furthermore, mourners at this stage may not eat meat or drink wine. If the period between death and burial extends over the Shabbat, then these customs are not adopted (except for refraining from marital relations), though they begin again following the Shabbat. Shiva commences immediately after burial.

What is the dress code for sitting shiva?

Though there is no specific shiva attire, when attending a shiva you should dress respectfully. Men should wear long pants and women should dress conservatively. If the shiva is being held in the home of an orthodox Jewish family, women will be expected to wear long skirts (below the knees) and long-sleeved shirts.

What is the last sense to go when someone dies?

Research suggests that even as your body transitions into unconsciousness, it's possible that you'll still be able to feel comforting touches from your loved ones and hear them speaking. Touch and hearing are the last senses to go when we die.

When a person dies what do they leave behind?

Most people leave behind some possessions when they die, which might include money, property and personal belongings, and together these things are called their 'estate'. These are usually passed on to family, friends and people or organisations such as charities that your friend or relative has specified.

When a person dies are their eyes open or closed?

Total eye closure is usual in sleep, coma and in death.

Do you bring a gift to a shiva?

Visitors may bring shiva gifts, including baskets, food or refreshments to the mourners, and it is customary for family and friends to serve guests, as mourners are not allowed to serve.