What are the 3 stages of limerence?

How does limerence end?

Probably the commonest experience for the resolution of limerence is a slow decline towards a more emotionally stable baseline. No grandiose change in emotion, just a gradual cooling until one day you suddenly realise “I don't feel infatuated any more”. Which is an end of sorts.

How long does the limerence stage last?

Limerence brings people together; it was not designed to keep them together. On average, limerence lasts somewhere between three months and 36 months. If you were with your lover more often, likely your limerence would be ebbing already. Because you see him rarely, it takes a little longer to run its course.

How do you know if you're in limerence?

Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated.

What is the limerence phase?

Phase 1: Falling in Love – Limerence

In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” for the first stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection.

How Does Limerence End? Stage Three Of Limerence Explained

What triggers limerence?

What Causes Limerence and ROCD? The intrusive thinking involved in limerence and OCD and has been associated with low levels of serotonin and elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine—all neurotransmitters, or chemicals that act as messengers between brain cells.

How do you know it's not limerence?

"Another sign of limerence is your emotional dependence on the limerent object if you're experiencing a strong, persistent yearning for them to reciprocate their feelings," Depanian says. When you're not around them, you can feel anxious almost like you're withdrawing from a drug.

How do you snap someone out of limerence?

Be firmly rejected by the Limerent Object

The quickest way to end an episode of limerence is to be 100% sure that a romantic relationship with the desired person is impossible. Asking the LO out on date or confessing feelings is a surefire way to figure out whether the LO is interested or not.

How do you let go of limerence?

How does limerence deal with limerence in relationships?

In terms of limerence, this means being honest about your motives when making decisions about LO. Recognise when you are doing something because it might give you a fix, rather than because it is the right thing to do. Then forgive yourself for being human, but do the right thing, with purpose.

Does limerence end suddenly?

There is no instant limerence cure. It's not unusual for either or both parties to go through a type of grief process. We humans grieve when we lose something or someone we value deeply. You will likely go through a process similar to what's known as the Grieving Process.

Does limerence come back?

Because of its life span, it is unlikely that limerence towards a person will come back. If it does, it is because the relationship has not properly ended. Even though you stopped all contact with your LO, no phone calls or meetings anymore, you can't stop the feelings that you have for them.

How do I know if it's love or limerence?

The main difference here is that love requires a real, meaningful connection with another person, while limerence is all about the chase and lusting after someone.

How long does it take to recover from limerence?

People who suffer from limerence to an inappropriate person can and do change their compulsive behavior. The neurochemicals of limerence tend to fade over time. In fact, most limerent brains recover within 36 months or less.

Can you be friends with limerent object?

You can get limerence towards a friend, a colleague or a stranger. When you get limerence, your entire focus and point of attention become your Limerent Object (LO). You get a euphoric connection with a new person and you are constantly looking for them to reciprocate the same.

How do I stop thinking about a limerent object?

Starve the source of limerent reinforcement. View the LO as a danger to your wellbeing, and cut all ties. Avoid their company wherever possible. Absolutely no social media contact.

What to do if spouse is in limerence?

Is limerence always unrequited?

Oftentimes, limerence is unrequited. It may be that LO is not interested, it may be that one or other of you are unavailable. Regardless of the cause, with one sided limerence that isn't resolved, a likely emotional assault that the limerent will face is seeing LO with a partner.

What kind of people are prone to limerence?

The trouble is, people prone to limerence are typically intelligent, thoughtful and have insecure attachment styles. While the former two traits allow for great empathy, the latter leaves them believing that they are unworthy of a real relationship.

Does everyone go through limerence?

Again, though, that doesn't mean that only 4-5% of the total population can ever experience limerence; only that those people are the most vulnerable to falling into the toxic state of person addiction.

Can limerence be mutual?

Tennov says that “probably the most prevalent” type of limerence interaction is “between a limerent person and an LO who does not reciprocate with limerence”—unrequited love. But mutual limerence, Romeo and Juliet-style, is possible.

How strong is limerence?

Limerence can last anywhere from 3 to 48 months on average—based on research. It has to end because the characteristics of limerence are just too extreme for someone to live in it for a lengthy amount of time. Limerence is so intense it brings two strangers closer together with a strong need to spend time together.

Is there a cure for limerence?

Although recovery research on this condition is relatively inchoate, individuals can undergo a combination of medical treatment (usually antidepressants, which inhibit the part of the brain responsible for obsessive thoughts) and cognitive behavioral therapy to combat symptoms of Limerence.

Is limerence a mental illness?

Tennov describes limerence as “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.” In layperson's terms, limerence refers to a near-obsessive form of romantic love that is ...

Is limerence toxic?

The phenomenon of limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979. It is characterized as “an involuntary state of deep obsession and infatuation with another person.” While it might sound like a typical crush, basing a relationship off of limerence or limerent feelings can lead to toxic relationships.