What are flying monkey tactics?

This common narcissistic tactic uses friends and family of the victim to spy on them, spread gossip while painting the narcissist as the victim and their target as the perpetrator. Flying monkeys can be your friends, family, coworkers or the narcissist's friends, family, or coworkers before you got there.
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How do I turn the flying monkeys against the narcissist?

Grey rock — show no emotion and give the flying monkeys little to work with. Be willing to walk away if you feel yourself getting emotional in the face of the abuse. Surround yourself with the types of people who can help you. Document everything.
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Do flying monkeys ever turn on the narcissist?

If the flying monkey is another narcissist, they most often will try to turn the tables on the first narcissist in order to depose them and take their place. This may also occur with an antisocial personality if they can benefit from doing so. Otherwise, they may just break ties with the narcissist and move on.
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Why do people become flying monkeys?

Researchers identified several reasons why people become flying monkeys to narcissists. These involve: A need for self-preservation and protection – this often happens when a flying monkey is afraid or intimidated by the narcissist and would rather be on the ”good side” of the narc rather than go against them.
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How do you outsmart a flying monkey?

The best way to get rid of a flying monkey is to run their comments through a filter of truth, educate them if you can, and always refuse to play their games.
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How To Spot A Narcissist's Flying Monkeys (Narc Smartest Manipulation Tactic)



What is the psychology of flying monkeys?

They Use Them to Discredit the People That They Abuse

They typically do this by spreading lies about you in the hopes that their flying monkeys will regurgitate the same lies to others. The reason a narcissist would want to use flying monkeys to discredit you is because they are trying to protect themselves.
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How do you spot a flying monkey?

How to Spot Flying Monkeys
  1. Gossiping: Flying monkeys benefit narcissists by spreading rumors and lies about others. ...
  2. Surveillance: Another major help flying monkeys provide for abusers is surveillance. ...
  3. Gaslighting and victim-blaming: Flying monkeys are fiercely loyal to narcissists.
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How are flying monkeys recruited?

Who do they recruit? They recruit through contacting family members, friends, work colleagues. Sometimes even threaten the victim – 'I'm going to tell them what you're really like! ' – in other words, I'm going to tell them a version of you that is really not accurate at all but paints you in a bad light.
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What is future faking in a relationship?

"Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship," Greg Kushnick, PsyD, a psychologist based in New York City, told Health. It's generally something narcissists do, added Dr.
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How do narcissists treat their flying monkeys?

When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
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Should you confront flying monkeys?

Approach a flying monkey with great caution; never offer them any information that may be used to spy on the narcissist, It may be preferable to unfriend or block them on social media rather than enable them to provide spy intel to the narcissist.
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Are flying monkeys enablers?

FLYING MONKEYS ARE ENABLERS who act on behalf of narcissists. They are usually friends and relatives who serve as surrogates, emissaries, fixers and drones in the narcissist's network. Moreover, they make it possible for narcissists to carry out their campaigns of abuse by proxy.
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Should you ignore flying monkeys?

The flying monkey lives to serve the narcissist. So when you are ignoring them, and their job is to get as much intel from you as possible, they fail the narcissistic leader in their life. When you ignore the flying monkey, you are legit taking away their purpose. You are taking away their meaning for living.
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Do narcissists discard their flying monkeys?

With no loyalty for anyone, the narcissist easily discards the flying monkeys when they have done the damage intended. There are two general types of flying monkeys – 'complicit and willing' (conspirator) and 'well-meaning dupes' (deluded).
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What is the GREY rock method husband?

The phrase 'grey rock' is a metaphor for a way to deflect and/or defuse further abuse from a partner, a family member, or even a coworker. Simply put, it's when a person who is enduring abuse purposely acts as boring as possible during encounters with their abuser.
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Do flying monkeys ever Realise?

In hindsight, some flying monkeys begin to realize they were a participant in a target's abuse when the narcissist's true colors are revealed. Unfortunately, there will always be some flying monkeys who know this from the beginning but do not care due to their own pathology and motivations.
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What are the threats to flying monkeys?

As a result of years of over-hunting, destruction of their natural habitats, and simple human ignorance, flying monkeys no longer fill the skies.
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Who does the narcissist fear the most?

Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
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What is the best way to disarm a narcissist?

12 Ways to Disarming a Narcissist
  1. Be calm. ...
  2. Don't feed their ego. ...
  3. Don't take responsibility for their actions. ...
  4. Don't give them attention. ...
  5. Don't give negative attention. ...
  6. Control your emotions. ...
  7. Know the words to disarm a narcissist. ...
  8. Don't give an ultimatum.
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What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
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What is stonewalling in a relationship?

Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
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What is hoovering in a relationship?

Hoovering is a behavioral term used to describe a narcissist (or someone with narcissistic tendencies) who uses emotional manipulation to lure their partner back into a toxic relationship.
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How narcissists manipulate their partners?

First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery. They then go on to play with difficult emotions like shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control over their victim.
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What is triangulation manipulation?

Triangulation is when a toxic or manipulative person, often a person with strong narcissistic traits, brings a third person into their relationship in order to remain in control. There will be limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the manipulator.
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