Is limerence toxic?

The phenomenon of limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979. It is characterized as “an involuntary state of deep obsession and infatuation with another person.” While it might sound like a typical crush, basing a relationship off of limerence or limerent feelings can lead to toxic relationships.

Can limerence be a good thing?

Limerence can be a positive force in life, if you cultivate the life skills to honestly judge your own drives and capabilities. Limerence, when tempered by an awareness of your own vulnerability, can be a blessing.

How can you tell if someone is a limerent?

What kind of people become limerent?

Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies as well as a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and to have one's feelings reciprocated.

Is limerence mental illness?

Today, many scientists and mental health professionals believe that limerence is not only a psychological state but also a neurological one, caused by low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain.

Why we miss someone who was toxic and dysfunctional: limerence, trauma bonding and a story time

Is limerence selfish?

This argument is built on the premise that limerence is largely selfish (in the literal sense of being focussed on your own feelings and needs), is frequently jealous, can involve subterfuge or misrepresentation in attempts to impress LO, and involves involuntary and exaggerated disruption of emotional stability.

What's wrong with limerence?

Negative Effects of Limerence

Unsurprisingly, limerence can negatively affect your life. As Mackenzie puts it, this state can include "stress, loss of sleep, obsessive thinking and obsessive things." All of the above means that you may not be living the healthiest lifestyle when you're in limerence with another person.

Who is prone to limerence?

Your Outer World Is a Reflection of Your Beliefs

The trouble is, people prone to limerence are typically intelligent, thoughtful and have insecure attachment styles. While the former two traits allow for great empathy, the latter leaves them believing that they are unworthy of a real relationship.

How is limerence triggered?

What Causes Limerence and ROCD? The intrusive thinking involved in limerence and OCD and has been associated with low levels of serotonin and elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine—all neurotransmitters, or chemicals that act as messengers between brain cells.

What are the 3 stages of limerence?

What causes limerence to end?

Some limerents do report an abrupt stop to their limerence. An off switch. It could be caused by something that LO does that is so objectionable that it overwhelms even a determined limerent's best efforts at idealisation. Or maybe it's a flat out row with LO that is so explosive you can't forgive them.

How do you feel when limerence ends?

Once limerence ends, someone generally gets hurt. Sometimes one partner is no longer interested in being together, tearing the other person apart emotionally. When you've given up everything in your life to be with someone, and they leave you, you may feel broken.

Is limerence unrequited love?

Oftentimes, limerence is unrequited. It may be that LO is not interested, it may be that one or other of you are unavailable. Regardless of the cause, with one sided limerence that isn't resolved, a likely emotional assault that the limerent will face is seeing LO with a partner.

How long will limerence last?

Limerence brings people together; it was not designed to keep them together. On average, limerence lasts somewhere between three months and 36 months.

How do you cure limerence?

Although recovery research on this condition is relatively inchoate, individuals can undergo a combination of medical treatment (usually antidepressants, which inhibit the part of the brain responsible for obsessive thoughts) and cognitive behavioral therapy to combat symptoms of Limerence.

Can a marriage survive limerence?

Limerence Will End~Eventually

No one could live with this level of emotional intensity for a lifetime. Just like infatuation, the early stage of romantic love. It is great for a time, then reality sets in. The bad news is that limerence may last several years, which in many cases is too late to save your marriage.

Is limerence a trauma response?

Limerence often occurs when there are cracks in our primary relationship. Limerence is also a symptom of relational trauma from early life attachment wounds.

Can limerence be mutual?

Tennov says that “probably the most prevalent” type of limerence interaction is “between a limerent person and an LO who does not reciprocate with limerence”—unrequited love. But mutual limerence, Romeo and Juliet-style, is possible.

Can limerence make you depressed?

BW cited multiple negative clinical consequences of limerence, such as difficulty concentrating at work and intense mood swings in response to contact with LO (euphoria) and separation from LO (depression), consistent with descriptions by Tennov (1) and Wakin and Vo (3).

How do you deal with a limerent person?

Do narcissists experience limerence?

It's an important topic, and a real danger for limerents. Anyone who feeds the limerence cycle is a threat, but narcissists can combine the worst excesses of both early reciprocation and uncertainty due to mixed messages. However, there are, of course, degrees of narcissism.

Does everyone feel limerence?

Again, though, that doesn't mean that only 4-5% of the total population can ever experience limerence; only that those people are the most vulnerable to falling into the toxic state of person addiction.

How strong is limerence?

Limerence can last anywhere from 3 to 48 months on average—based on research. It has to end because the characteristics of limerence are just too extreme for someone to live in it for a lengthy amount of time. Limerence is so intense it brings two strangers closer together with a strong need to spend time together.

How do I deal with a limerent husband?

Is limerence irrational?

No doubt you've seen, or experienced for yourself, the state of limerence. The chaotic, sometimes even terrifying thoughts and feelings. The often irrational, even crazy behaviors.