Is it better to attend a wake or a funeral?

Someone wise once said that you should attend the wake if you would like to show support to the survivors. You should attend the funeral if you need to grieve yourself. If you find yourself in both camps, attend both the wake and the funeral.

Is it more important to go to visitation or funeral?

If you've been invited to both but you're unable to attend the visitation, it's fine to simply attend the funeral. It's typically considered more important to attend the funeral service.

Is it OK to go to visitation and not funeral?

Yes. Unless the viewing or funeral is private, the family is open to receiving anyone who would like to pay their respects. If attending the visitation, briefly explain to the family member(s) you speak to how you knew the person. They'll be honored you visited.

Is it rude not to go to a wake?

As with a funeral service, if you are invited to a wake, viewing, or visitation you should feel free to go. If the event is limited to family only, you should respect the family's wishes and not attend.

How long is appropriate to stay at a wake?

According to the The Funeral Source, it is appropriate for guests to stay at the wake for as little as 15 to 20 minutes. However, you should use your own discretion upon deciding when to leave. If you're close with the family, you may want to stay longer. Offer to help and socialize with the other guests at the wake.

Wake vs Funeral vs Memorial vs Viewing: What's the Difference?

What's the purpose of a wake?

A wake (sometimes referred to as “calling hours”) is a more unstructured time where friends and family of the deceased come to pay their respects one last time, and in many cases to view the deceased before they are buried.

Do you give money at a wake?

Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance. The Funeral Service.

Do you bring food to a wake?

An edible gift (think fruit baskets, sandwich plates or baked goods) is always a good thing to bring to a wake, especially if it's held in a private home. Cards can also be brought with you to a private wake.

What are you supposed to do at a wake?

The main intent of the wake beyond comforting the family is to pay your respects to the deceased. You may go up and say a silent prayer. You may say goodbye. You may hold the deceased's hand or simply observe.

What do you wear to a wake?

What is appropriate to wear to a wake? A wake is a formal occasion, and your attire should reflect that. Any sort of business clothes such as a shirt and tie, a dress, nice pants and a top in dark colors would be suitable and appropriate. Avoid bright colors and clothing that is revealing or flamboyant.

When should you not go to a funeral?

5 reasons not to go to the funeral:

Your attendance at the service would be disruptive or distracting to any member of the immediate family. Your attendance at the service would be upsetting to any member of the immediate family. The services are private and not open to the public.

What do you say to a family at a wake?

What is a wake vs viewing?

Viewing Vs Wake

The key difference between a viewing and a wake is religion. While viewing is relatively an unstructured event, a wake has its roots in the Catholic church. A part of it usually includes a religious session involving a member of the clergy or a priest who reads holy texts or scriptures.

What is funeral visitation etiquette?

Visitation Etiquette

The standard protocol for a funeral visitation is to stop by, introduce yourself to the family (if needed) and pay your condolences, and then leave after a short period of time.

Should I go to a funeral of someone I haven't seen in years?

If you haven't seen or spoken to the deceased in years, this would need to be considered. More so, if your relationship ended on bad terms, whether romantically, professionally or financially—it would be better to not cause any unnecessary stress on the grieving family and friends.

What should I bring to a funeral visitation?

How much do I give at a wake?

There is no set amount, as it should be a gift – so give whatever you think is enough, and gift from the heart. An amount of $10 is perfectly acceptable, and is usually dependent on your relationship with the family. Place your contributions in an envelope, and leave the envelope with a family member of the deceased.

What do you wear to a funeral wake?

Business casual is typically acceptable. Stay away from festive or fun attire. Sometimes families choose to encourage the celebration of their loved one's life at the wake. If that is the case, wearing festive clothing is totally acceptable.

What happens during a wake?

A wake, also known as a viewing, visitation or gathering, typically occurs before the funeral takes place. An urn or a casket is typically present, and the casket may be opened or closed. At this time, people pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the departed.

Should I attend a wake?

You should attend both the wake and the funeral for family members and very close friends. If you're a member of the immediate family, people will want to express condolences to you. Even if it's difficult, being there is important.

Can I wear jeans to a funeral visitation?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.

Can I wear jeans to a funeral?

Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.

Is it rude to put money in a sympathy card?

Many people suggest to not put money into a sympathy card, but there are times when money is just what the family needs during a difficult time. Funerals can be expensive, and depending on the situation, a monetary gift can be the best offering for a grieving family.

How much should you put in a funeral card?

Amount of money to give

One approach is to give as much as you can afford. Don't go into debt for the month because you gave all your available money to a grieving family. It doesn't make sense for your family to be shortchanged because you gave away all your available funds.

What can I say instead of lieu of flowers?

When the notations “in lieu of flowers, please…” or “contributions to xyz would be appreciated” appear in an obituary, take your cue from the request. You may still send flowers in addition, but if you wish to send only one expression of sympathy, follow the family's wishes and choose the contribution.