How to deal with someone who has a borderline personality disorder?

  1. Set clear boundaries. Practising good boundaries and expectations can make a big difference. ...
  2. Plan ahead. ...
  3. Learn their triggers. ...
  4. Provide distractions. ...
  5. Learn more about BPD. ...
  6. Help them seek treatment and support. ...
  7. Take care of yourself.
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How do you respond to someone with BPD?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.
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Is it hard to live with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance.
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What triggers BPD rage?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
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Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
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The Personality Disorders Relationship Strategies You Should Know | MedCircle x. Dr Ramani



Who are BPD attracted to?

Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
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How do you calm down a BPD rage?

Here are some tips on healthy ways to manage your anger with BPD.
  1. Count to 10. Hero Images / Getty Images. ...
  2. Notice Your Anger Earlier. Hero Images / Getty Images. ...
  3. Take a Break. Betsie Van Der Meer / Getty Images. ...
  4. Distract Yourself. ...
  5. Take Deep Breaths. ...
  6. Ground Yourself. ...
  7. Listen to Calming Music. ...
  8. Practice Letting Go.
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What does a BPD outburst look like?

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving and binge eating. Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting. Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days.
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How do you calm someone with borderline rage?

Be a listener

Listen actively and be sympathetic and focus on emotions rather than the words. Ensure that you demonstrate that the person with BPD feels heard. When someone is upset or angry, it's easy and understandable to reciprocate, but it is not helpful.
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Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.
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Do borderlines have empathy?

People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
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Are people with BPD abusive?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is highly associated with verbal abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, and/or domestic violence often suffered by those who are non-borderline.
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Should you ignore someone with BPD?

Even though people with BPD are unpredictable, they need to be included in your plans. You should never ignore them during these times. They will feel disrespected, and this could lead to more fighting. Instead, try to include them in your activities and treat them kindly.
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How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.
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How do you emotionally regulate someone with BPD?

Managing Emotions Despite BPD
  1. Incorporating stress-reduction techniques into your life.
  2. Exercising regularly.
  3. Using grounding techniques in moments of intense distress.
  4. Practicing mindfulness meditation.
  5. Expressing your emotions through writing.
  6. Educating yourself about BPD.
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What are BPD toxic behaviors?

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Unstable and intense personal relationships, marked by alternating idealization and devaluation. Persistently unstable sense of self. Risky, potentially self-damaging impulsivity in at least two areas (e.g., substance abuse, reckless behavior, sex, spending).
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What are things borderlines do?

The 9 symptoms of BPD
  • Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
  • Unstable relationships. ...
  • Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
  • Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
  • Self-harm. ...
  • Extreme emotional swings. ...
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
  • Explosive anger.
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Are people with BPD vengeful?

Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships.
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What angers a borderline?

Rage in a person with BPD can occur suddenly and unpredictably, often triggered by an intense fear of being alone. Fear of rejection can be so intense that they begin to anxiously expect rejection. Subtle cues that they associate with rejection can set off unexpectedly intense reactions.
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How do you stop arguing with borderline personality disorder?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself. ...
  6. Be specific. ...
  7. Be open. ...
  8. Suggest alternatives.
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What is the average length of a BPD relationship?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
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Do borderlines love their favorite person?

For a person with BPD there are significant fears of abandonment and they will attach to a favourite person and rely on this person for emotional validation and security. Their favourite person becomes the source of their comfort and devotion.
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Why do borderlines seduce?

In a close relationship, they must walk a tightrope to balance the fear of being alone or of being too close. To do so, they manipulate and control with commands or indirect maneuvers, including flattery and seduction, to reel in their partner and use their anger and rejection to keep him or her at a safe distance.
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Why you should date someone with BPD?

More than others, your partner with BPD may be especially good at delighting you with spontaneous adventures and surprises. Many people with BPD enjoy being with others and making them laugh. Their high energy and spontaneous nature make being with them a great pleasure.
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