How do you respond to a narcissist apology?

How to Respond to a Narcissist's Apology
  1. 1 Recognize the signs of a bad apology.
  2. 2 Ask them if they can see your perspective.
  3. 3 Communicate your boundaries clearly.
  4. 4 Let them know you're disappointed in them.
  5. 5 Tell them you won't accept an apology at the moment.
  6. 6 Keep yourself safe from an outburst.
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What happens when a narcissist apologizes?

An apology is part of the illusion of good in the relationship. You get hooked in with the emotions of hopefulness and relief when your narcissist apologizes to you. This hope is something that you need because prior to the apology you were hurt and shut out. After the apology, you feel relieved and can relax again.
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Do narcissists give fake apologies?

In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as in, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
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Why do narcissists say Im sorry you feel that way?

"In all of these apologies, what you see is that they are not apologizing for something they did or said," says Durvasula. "They are in essence, though, using the apology as a way of gaslighting you and invalidating your experience: 'I'm sorry you feel that way,' meaning 'you probably shouldn't.
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What should you not say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
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How To Respond To A Narcissist’s Apology



What is the best thing to say to a narcissist?

Using “I” statements is always best, as it keeps blame off of others and makes you the owner of how you feel. Sharing how you feel can humanize the interaction, and though the narcissist may not care, it's possible they will ease off if they feel you are interpreting yourself as a victim.
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What is the best way to respond to a narcissist?

Narcissists don't take constructive criticism well, Manly says. Try to make comments in careful, positive ways. Stay calm. Try not to react if they try to pick a fight or gaslight you (making you doubt your own reality).
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How do you accept an apology but not forgive?

Try saying: “Thank you, I needed to hear this apology. I really am hurt.” Or, “I appreciate your apology. I need time to think about it, and I need to see a change in your actions before I can move forward with you.” Don't attack the transgressor, as hard as it may be to hold back in the moment.
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How do you respond to an apology when still hurt?

If you're still hurt, mad, or upset

If you're still hurt or upset by someone's actions, be open about this. Let them say their apology and acknowledge their effort, but be clear that you aren't fully ready to move forward yet. Commit to revisiting it later after letting your emotions settle.
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How do you politely decline an apology?

You can also tell them that you appreciate the apology, but you're not yet ready to accept it.
  1. For instance, if you don't feel like their apology was good enough, you could say something like, "No, I can't accept your apology. ...
  2. Or, "Thanks for apologizing, but I'm still really upset and I'm not ready to forgive you yet.
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When should you not accept an apology?

If you're not going to maintain a relationship with your friend, parent, sibling, coworker, roommate, or partner, you might not feel a need to accept an apology from them. Even if you do ultimately decide to accept the apology, you're still not obligated to maintain the relationship with the other person.
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What does a narcissist apology look like?

Instead, the typical narcissistic apology involves a reparative gesture that they think the other person will like. Depending on the people involved, this can involve anything from buying expensive jewelry to inviting their mother-in-law to dinner.
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What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.
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Will a narcissist take you back?

Do Narcissists Come Back to Relationships? Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.
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What is a toxic apology?

The toxic apology part 2

This sounds almost reasonable but is, in fact, anything but reasonable. It is a form of words designed to make you look like the bad guy by suggesting that you have been ungracious and unbending, as well as having unrealistic expectations.
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What do you reply when someone apologizes?

5 English Phrases to Respond to an Apology
  • That's OK.
  • It happens.
  • No problem.
  • Don't worry about it.
  • I forgive you. (for serious problems)
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When someone says sorry what do you reply?

If this has happened to you and the person has apologized, here is how to respond to sorry. 01“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.” Saying thank you for the apology lets the person know that you have accepted their plea, and that it has helped you to feel better.
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What does it mean when a man apologizes?

Saying it requires vulnerability to admit wrongdoing and the hurt that that wrongdoing has inflicted on the person you're apologizing to. To be truly sorry means feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation and your role in it.
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What happens when you chase a narcissist?

For narcissists, relationships are more like a business transaction. They love to be the center of attention. And, if you chase them, that is all the attention they need. It also further fuels their ego.
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Should you reply to a narcissist?

It's not always wise to reply to a narcissist text message. Often enough, responding does more harm than good—even if you manage to keep your cool and deflect their petty arrows. It still drags you into a mental space that's exhausting and contributes nothing to your well-being or anyone else's.
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What shuts a narcissist down?

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to not engage with them at all and to go no contact. People that are narcissistic want things from you – they want your attention and your emotional reaction.
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What are some of the most common phrases narcissists use?

In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like:

"I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else." "It's fate that we met." "I've never felt this way about anyone before."
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How do you outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
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