How do you deal with a narcissist coworker?

The following are 11 tips how to deal with a narcissist coworker:
  1. Learn How Gaslighting Works. ...
  2. Avoid Taking Things Personally. ...
  3. Maintain Realistic Expectations. ...
  4. Document Offensive Behavior. ...
  5. Set Firm Boundaries. ...
  6. Remain Assertive. ...
  7. Consult With Your Boss. ...
  8. Don't Engage in Gossip.
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How can you tell a narcissist at work?

Here are nine signs your coworker has narcissistic tendencies.
  1. They exaggerate their achievements. ...
  2. They love to be the center of attention. ...
  3. They respond to feedback with aggression. ...
  4. They take advantage of their colleagues. ...
  5. They blame other people for their mistakes. ...
  6. They have trouble managing their emotions.
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How do you work with a narcissist employee?

6 ways to cope with a narcissist at work
  1. Present options instead of conclusions to prevent resistance. ...
  2. Communicate assertively. ...
  3. Define expectations. ...
  4. Communicate with others and have witnesses. ...
  5. Report and document behaviour. ...
  6. Avoid personal conversations.
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How do you disarm a narcissist at work?

What to Say to Disarm a Narcissist
  1. “I don't agree with you, but you have a right to have your opinion. ...
  2. “You are certainly entitled to your opinion. ...
  3. “We can agree to disagree.”
  4. “We will work on this together.”
  5. “Let me ask your advice on this. ...
  6. “I hear what you're saying.”
  7. “I'm sorry you feel that way.”
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What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself to cut off their narcissistic supply.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Act unresponsive around them.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
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6 Strategies To Deal With A Narcissist Coworker



What upsets a narcissist the most?

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage

They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable. They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries.
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How do you overpower a narcissist?

10 Tips for Dealing with a Narcissistic Personality
  1. Accept them.
  2. Break the spell.
  3. Speak up.
  4. Set boundaries.
  5. Expect pushback.
  6. Remember the truth.
  7. Find support.
  8. Demand action.
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What should you not say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
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How do you confuse a narcissist?

11 Ways to Confuse and Disarm a Narcissist
  1. 1 Be unpredictable.
  2. 2 Say “no” when they ask for favors.
  3. 3 Remove all emotion from your reactions to them.
  4. 4 Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.
  5. 5 Guard your sensitive information closely.
  6. 6 Walk away while they're talking.
  7. 7 Cut off all communication.
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What turns a narcissist off?

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to not engage with them at all and to go no contact. People that are narcissistic want things from you – they want your attention and your emotional reaction.
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How do you ignore a narcissist coworker?

Ignore, but don't neglect

They want attention. Instead of playing into their weaknesses, avoid it by staying objective and calm. When you deserve credit, speak up and take it, but resist outward hostility toward the narcissist. For instance, don't say, “I did the majority of the work here, not Jane/Joe”.
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How do I confront a narcissist at work?

Communicate assertively but do not be aggressive because this may come across as an attack and may make the narcissist defensive. Give them options and describe how every one of these can benefit them to avoid resistance. Define expectations. Talk to managers if there is a problem working with your co-worker.
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How do you protect yourself from a narcissist at work?

If you find yourself ensnared in the web of a narcissist, there are a few key points that will help maintain your own sanity.
  1. Establish boundaries for yourself. ...
  2. Don't let your own ego send you into battle. ...
  3. Don't throw the word “narcissist” their way. ...
  4. Go to HR (if you have an HR Department) if behavior gets out of hand.
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What are the red flags of a narcissist?

Self-importance

Having manipulative tendencies. Engaging in a whirlwind romance. Lacking compassion or a severe lack of empathy for others. Love bombing.
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How do you humiliate a narcissist?

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.
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What is the best thing to say to a narcissist?

Using “I” statements is always best, as it keeps blame off of others and makes you the owner of how you feel. Sharing how you feel can humanize the interaction, and though the narcissist may not care, it's possible they will ease off if they feel you are interpreting yourself as a victim.
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What happens when a narcissist knows you are onto them?

Narcissists define the word “reactionary.” When a narcissist knows you're onto them, they dial all their worst toxic and abusive qualities up to 10 and go full self-destruct Samson mode. Plan your exit strategy first and then decide if it's worth it because narcissistic rage like you've never experienced is coming.
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What happens when you insult a narcissist?

When offended, a typical person might experience hurt feelings or feel insulted or angry. However, the offended person might ultimately talk it through with the individual who committed the transgression, with a willingness to repair the relationship and move on.
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How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.
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How do you beat a narcissist employee?

Minimise the problem by implementing the following strategies (inspired by Zen Workplace suggestions)
  1. Document all events. ...
  2. Give official warnings. ...
  3. Don't try to change their behaviour. ...
  4. Distance yourself emotionally. ...
  5. Talk to their co-workers. ...
  6. Embrace their narcissism.
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How do you know you've beaten a narcissist?

5 Signs You have Beat the Narcissist
  • Give them no attention. ...
  • Accept the fact about them. ...
  • Don't listen to their judgment. ...
  • Don't forget their intentions. ...
  • Don't stay too close to them. ...
  • 7 Signs of Self-Sabotage. ...
  • 5 Patterns that Mess Up Your Relationships. ...
  • 7 Signs You Might Be Emotionally Abusive.
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Should you defend yourself to a narcissist?

That's the main reason it's a waste of time to defend yourself against their accusations: it's very, very important to the narcissist that these things be true. In fact, in a way you could say their lives depend on it. This is why the more you deny it, the more sure they are that they're right.
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What happens when you ignore narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
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How do you set boundaries with a narcissist at work?

“When dealing with a narcissist, you should be assertive with your boundaries and make it clear to them what those are. For example, if you are not okay with something they want you to do, tell them up front and hold your ground. Don't let them pressure you into doing it anyway.”
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