How do I let go of grudges and bitterness?

Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life.
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How do you let go of bitterness and resentment?

7 tips from therapists for learning how to let go of resentment
  1. Remember: Some resentment is okay. ...
  2. Embrace a new perspective. ...
  3. Talk it out. ...
  4. Step into the other person's shoes. ...
  5. Find space for forgiveness (even if you don't reconcile with the person) ...
  6. Speak with a therapist to pinpoint preexisting emotional pain.
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How do I stop holding grudges and forgiveness?

Here are some tips for getting better at forgiveness instead of holding grudges, according to experts.
  1. Acknowledge Your Part. ...
  2. Break The Thought Habit. ...
  3. Allow Yourself To Heal. ...
  4. Invest In Good Relationships. ...
  5. Try To Understand The Person. ...
  6. Use Empathy. ...
  7. Accept The Disappointment As Part Of Life.
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What personality type hold grudges?

Perhaps the most sensitive of all the personality types, INFJs take it hard when someone they trust lets them down. They tend to hold on to anger longer than they should and are capable of holding a grudge even when the other person has apologized, repeatedly, for their wrongdoing.
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Why is it hard to let go of grudges?

Powerful emotions like jealousy, anger, resentment, and sadness are usually tangled with the hostile feelings, which can make it harder to just get over it. That's why so many people hold on to grudges for months, years, and even lifetimes.
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Russell Brand On Holding A Grudge



How do I move past the resentment?

Getting through resentment seems like an impossible task, but there are ways to move through these feelings and move forward from them:
  1. Let Yourself Feel. ...
  2. Talk to Someone. ...
  3. Understand Where the Resentment Came From. ...
  4. Remind Yourself That Mistakes Happen. ...
  5. Work Toward Forgiveness. ...
  6. Have Some Empathy. ...
  7. Apologize Sincerely.
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How can I free myself from grudges?

How To Let Go Of A Grudge
  1. Acknowledge The Grudge. Figure out what it is that's causing you to hold on to the grudge. ...
  2. Communicate. ...
  3. See Things From Their Perspective. ...
  4. Accept The Situation. ...
  5. Don't Dwell. ...
  6. Stay Positive. ...
  7. Choose To Forgive.
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Is holding a grudge a mental illness?

People with paranoid personality disorder see threats all around them. They tend to hold grudges, dwelling to the point of obsession over past slights they've experienced. These tendencies keep them from forming lasting and close relationships as hostility and general distrust consume their emotional lives.
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What happens to your body when you hold a grudge?

Grudges hurt the immune system

“Living in a chronic state of tension disables your body's repair mechanisms, increasing inflammation and the stress hormone cortisol in the body,” she explains.
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Why do I hold grudges so much?

“People often get stuck in the cycle of holding grudges because they expect something from someone and that expectation hasn't been fulfilled,” says Rachel O'Neill, Ph. D., a licensed professional clinical counselor in Ohio and a Talkspace provider. For example, you might feel that someone has wronged you in some way.
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What are the 3 types of forgiveness?

The three types of forgiveness are: exoneration, forbearance and release.
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How do you forgive someone who hurts you emotionally?

How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally
  1. Accept oneself.
  2. Accept the other.
  3. Let go of having to be right.
  4. Let go of needing to punish the other.
  5. Let go of needing to be angry to maintain power or control over the other.
  6. Accept that the world is not fair.
  7. Focus on the advantages of forgiveness over anger.
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Why can't I forgive and move on?

We unconsciously layer the new hurt to the old hurt, until we are facing something too big and overwhelming to forgive and forget. For example, if our partner leaves us, we can experience feelings of rejection that can pile on top of unresolved experiences of abandonment from childhood.
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What is the root of resentment?

The word originates from French "ressentir", re-, intensive prefix, and sentir "to feel"; from the Latin "sentire". The English word has become synonymous with anger, spite, and holding a grudge.
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What causes bitterness in a person?

Regret, embarrassment, shame, and guilt from a single mistake can haunt you for years. And the ensuing negative thoughts, stress, and pessimistic outlook can create a dynamic in which you view the world in a bitter way—all because you feel that you are unworthy of feeling OK.
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How do I let go of the past and anger?

How to Let Go of Things from the Past
  1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. ...
  2. Create physical distance. ...
  3. Do your own work. ...
  4. Practice mindfulness. ...
  5. Be gentle with yourself. ...
  6. Allow the negative emotions to flow. ...
  7. Accept that the other person may not apologize. ...
  8. Engage in self-care.
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What does God say about holding a grudge?

He writes, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:13). Will God forgive you for holding a grudge? No—He will not.
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Can holding a grudge cause depression?

People who hang onto grudges are more likely to go through severe depression and PTSD.
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What resentment does to your body?

And when it comes to health, resentment can weaken your immune system while increasing stress and anxiety and the risk of heart disease, hypertension, stroke, cancer, alcoholism, drug addiction, compulsive behavior, weight gain, mood swings, depression and burnout, and it's been linked to a shortened lifespan.
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Why do I have a hard time forgiving?

People often struggle with forgiveness when they blame themselves, at least in some small way, for what happened. Self-compassion and self-forgiveness are important tools to have before trying to forgive someone else. It's important to consider whether self-blame may be getting in the way of your ability to forgive.
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Can bitterness make you sick?

The latest research to give credence to the link between state of mind and health is a recent study from Concordia University that has found constant bitterness can make a person ill. Holding on to bitterness can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function and lead to physical disease, researchers say.
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How do you cure bitterness?

Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life.
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Can resentment go away?

Resentment is hurt, disappointment, anger, or any other negative emotion that persists over a period of time. It usually doesn't go away on its own – instead, it accumulates and grows bigger. As this resentment continues, the people in the relationship find it more difficult to express love and empathy to one another.
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How do you become strong when someone hurts you emotionally?

15 ways to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally
  1. Think about the situation. ...
  2. Know that it's not about you. ...
  3. Focus on yourself. ...
  4. Call or text them. ...
  5. Meet new people. ...
  6. Call your friends or family to vent. ...
  7. Try and see it from another perspective. ...
  8. Remind yourself of your inner beauty.
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When should you not forgive someone?

If forgiving someone guarantees that they're back in your life, and if that puts those around you (like your children or family) at risk. If that person pressures you to partake in negative behaviors, for example, drinking if you're sober. If that person doesn't respect your boundaries.
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