Do you bring anything to a shiva?

Suggested items for a Shiva basket are: baked goods and desserts, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts or chocolates. A Shiva platter usually contains cooked meats, fish and/or specialty salads. If the mourners keep a Kosher home, it is imperative to choose Kosher food to send.

Is it customary to bring a gift to shiva?

Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva. In fact, Shiva begins with seudat havra'ah, "the meal of consolation," prepared by family and neighbors.

What do guests do at a shiva?

During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. During this first week, family members usually don't go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives. Guests are usually welcome to come to the home during this first week, and spend time with and pray with the family.

What do you wear to a shiva?

The dress code for a Shiva visit—The most important thing to remember about your dress—be respectful. It's better to err on the conservative side. Men should wear long pants and women are best advised to wear long skirts and long-sleeved shirts.

What is forbidden during shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

Connect with Lord Shiva using these 8 Easy Ways!

Do guests bring food to shiva?

Food for the Shiva

A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook. You may bring a Shiva platter along with you on a visit. You can also send platters or a basket of food. Most of these provisions are intended for the mourners to ensure they are nourished.

What to do when visiting someone sitting Shiva?

The tradition suggests being silent, allowing the mourner to open the conversation. Simply offering a hug, a kiss, a handshake, an arm around the shoulder speaks volumes. If you do want to open a conversation, start with a simple “I'm so sorry” or “I don't know what to say.

Do you have to be invited to a shiva?

Mourners are welcome to express sadness and heartache. When you approach a home that's sitting shiva, you're invited to walk right in. As shiva is observed, the mourner's home is open to the community and everyone is welcome. Shiva is a time to meet the mourners, to share memories and stories about the deceased.

Do you wear all black to a shiva?

You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.

What colors do you wear to a shiva?

In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning. And that can vary from family to family.

Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.

What not to say at a shiva house?

A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).

Do you wear shoes at a shiva?

In some customs, the mourners refrain from wearing leather shoes. Some wear shoes of canvas or cloth. Others wear no shoes at all during shiva. Visitors may wear whatever footwear is appropriate, but should not wear non-leather shoes unless appropriate with the outfit worn.

How do you pay respects at Shiva?

What is a Shiva gift?

Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates. The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days. This is a traditional shiva gift and is appropriate to give to a Jewish family in mourning.

How long should you stay at a Shiva call?

Shiva calls are short, usually twenty to thirty minutes in total. The purpose of a shiva call isn't to pay a social visit—it's to physically demonstrate that you're available for the mourner. Twenty to thirty minutes is usually enough to demonstrate this sentiment.

Is there alcohol at shiva?

The offering that you make to the Lord is alcohol. Yes, am not kidding ! We bought along with flowers a bottle of vodka for Lord Shiva. In the hindu scriptures, Shiva is described to be someone who enjoys his meat and his alcohol.

Do you sit Shiva at night?

During the traditional practices of sitting shiva, mourners stay home and hold a service each evening.

Can you change clothes during shiva?

Laundering and Wearing Clothes

Laundered clothes must not be worn during the shiva, even if they were laundered before the person became a mourner. Members of the mourner's household who are not themselves mourners are allowed to launder their clothes, and are allowed to wear laundered clothes.

What do you say when paying a Shiva call?

Before leaving, one stands up, approaches the mourner and recites, “HaMakom yenacheim etchem betoch sha'ar aveiliei Tzion v'Yerushalayim”—May the Almighty comfort you among those who mourn for Zion and Jerusalem.

How do you support someone in shiva?

Can you wear jeans to a shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.

What do you say when leaving a shiva house?

What do you say when leaving a shiva house? It is customary to say to the mourners: Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”

Can you take food out of a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.

What flowers does Lord Shiva like?

As per legend, Shiva consumed the poison that was obtained during the ocean churning. Doing so, Datura emerged from his chest and ever since, it is believed to be his favourite flower.