Do you bring a gift to a shiva?

Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva. In fact, Shiva begins with seudat havra'ah, "the meal of consolation," prepared by family and neighbors.
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What is appropriate to bring to a shiva?

Suggested items for a Shiva basket are: baked goods and desserts, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts or chocolates. A Shiva platter usually contains cooked meats, fish and/or specialty salads. If the mourners keep a Kosher home, it is imperative to choose Kosher food to send.
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Do you bring a card to a shiva?

Such organizations often send a card to the mourners acknowledging your gift so your contribution will not go unappreciated. If you cannot make a shiva call in person, it is also appropriate to send a card or write a letter because the most important gift that you can provide to a friend in grief is your presence.
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How do you pay respects at shiva?

Sitting Shiva Etiquette
  1. Find the Right Time to Visit. Check with friends or family at the end of the funeral service for the right time(s) to visit. ...
  2. Dress Appropriately. ...
  3. Wash Your Hands. ...
  4. Just Walk In. ...
  5. Bring or Send Food.
  6. Find the Mourner. ...
  7. Talk to Friends. ...
  8. Consider the Length of Your Visit.
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What is not allowed during shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.
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Why Do Jews Sit Shiva?



Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.
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Do you wear black to a shiva?

You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.
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How long should I stay at a shiva?

A shiva visit should be no more than an hour. If a service is held, come a few minutes before and stay a few after.
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What should I wear to a shiva call?

The dress code for a Shiva visit—The most important thing to remember about your dress—be respectful. It's better to err on the conservative side. Men should wear long pants and women are best advised to wear long skirts and long-sleeved shirts.
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Can you wear jeans to a shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.
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Do you have to be invited to sit shiva?

First, when you arrive at the home sitting Shiva, you're encouraged to walk right in. During the Shiva period, the family's home is open to all who are willing to pay their respects. Essentially, everyone is welcome. As the visitor, your purpose is to honor the grief of the bereaved.
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Do you wear shoes at a shiva?

In some customs, the mourners refrain from wearing leather shoes. Some wear shoes of canvas or cloth. Others wear no shoes at all during shiva. Visitors may wear whatever footwear is appropriate, but should not wear non-leather shoes unless appropriate with the outfit worn.
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What to do during shiva?

During the traditional practices of sitting shiva, mourners stay home and hold a service each evening. Family members gather in one location to share this shiva experience, typically the home of the person being honored or another family member's home.
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What not to say at a shiva house?

A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).
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What colors do you wear to a shiva?

In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning. And that can vary from family to family.
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Is there alcohol at shiva?

The offering that you make to the Lord is alcohol. Yes, am not kidding ! We bought along with flowers a bottle of vodka for Lord Shiva. In the hindu scriptures, Shiva is described to be someone who enjoys his meat and his alcohol.
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What do guests do at a shiva?

During shiva, the family gathers every day in a family home to mourn and pray. During this first week, family members usually don't go to work or participate in the routine of their normal lives. Guests are usually welcome to come to the home during this first week, and spend time with and pray with the family.
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What do you send when sitting shiva?

Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates. The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days. This is a traditional shiva gift and is appropriate to give to a Jewish family in mourning.
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Can you take food out of a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.
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Which flower is not Worshipped to shiva?

Champaka, also known as Golden Champa or Yellow Champak is not used in the worship of Lord Shiva. There is an interesting story in the Shiv Purana which explains the reason why Champaka flowers are not used in Shiva Puja.
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Can I offer red flowers to Shiva?

Hibiscus flowers are easily available. This gorgeous red or pink coloured flower is used in the Pooja. The one who offers this flower will get a place in Kailash which is Lord Shiva's abode.
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What is Lord Shiva Favourite sweet?

According to legend, Lord Shiva loves malpua. You can make malpua and add a little cannabis powder to it. This will also enhance the taste of malpua. You can prepare thandai with milk, sugar and cannabis.
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What do you say when you visit a shiva house?

Before leaving, one stands up, approaches the mourner and recites, “HaMakom yenacheim etchem betoch sha'ar aveiliei Tzion v'Yerushalayim”—May the Almighty comfort you among those who mourn for Zion and Jerusalem.
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What do you say when leaving a shiva house?

What do you say when leaving a shiva house? It is customary to say to the mourners: Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
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Can you offer meat to shiva?

For the high tradition, defined by Brahmins, Shiva became a vegetarian god. The sects offering meat to Shiva as a prayer ritual, such as the Kaula Kapalikas and the Kalamukhas, were declared heretical according to the Skanda Purana.
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