Are you in love or in trauma?

One way to determine whether you're in a healthy relationship or a trauma bond is to focus on how your relationship consistently makes you feel. A healthy relationship makes you feel supported, secure, and confident, while a trauma bond makes you feel fearful, anxious, or put down.
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What is the difference between trauma and love?

Much like love bombing, trauma bonds can give the resemblance of love. They're often confused for love because of the trying nature, and when you love someone, you do try. Trauma bond relationships are driven by fear, not love, which is the biggest differentiator between trauma bonds and love.
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Can you have a trauma bond and be in love?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.
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Is a soulmate the same as a trauma bond?

with a soulmate, you're both emotionally present and available. with a trauma bond, there's emotional unavailability or inconsistency. with a healthy love, there's freedom within the togetherness. with a trauma bond, there's obsessive thoughts and fantasy.
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Is falling in love quickly a trauma response?

For some people, quickly falling in love is a way to avoid serious relationships. They like to go through the honeymoon phase, but they are not ready for long-term commitments. Thus, people who often fall in love try not to burden themselves with difficulties. This situation has its roots in traumatic experiences.
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Are you in love or are you in trauma?



Do I love him or am I just attached?

Difference between love and attachment

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.
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What are 3 signs of a trauma bond?

Signs of trauma bonding
  • agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly.
  • try to cover for the abusive person.
  • argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.
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Can trauma bring people closer together?

hared pain brings people together. Known to sociologists as “social glue,” trauma behaves like a binding agent in social settings, forging connections between survivors known as trauma bonds.
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Is love considered trauma?

Love trauma is experienced as a severe stress and is traumatic in some way. Rosse (9) means that the person experiences a significant emotional, psychological, or physical distress by "traumatic". Four significant criteria Arousal is associated with symptoms of anxiety such as irritability and sleep disorders.
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What are the seven stages of trauma bonding?

First, we will explore the 7-stages of trauma bonding.
  • Love Bombing. At the start of the relationship, did they shower you with excess love, appreciation and gifts? ...
  • Trust and Dependency. ...
  • Criticism. ...
  • Gaslighting. ...
  • Resigning to Control. ...
  • Loss of Self. ...
  • Addiction. ...
  • Stop the Secret Self Blame.
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Is being needy a trauma response?

Often when we are needy, we are actually just craving connection. These are known as 'bids for attention' in the Gottman Therapy framework. And this can be a response to unprocessed childhood trauma, where our basic needs for love, approval, and affection have not been met.
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Is it hard to date someone with trauma?

Dating someone with PTSD can be difficult. It can even be frustrating at times. Remember that post-traumatic stress disorder is a treatable mental health condition.
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Are people with trauma hard to love?

Being in a relationship with someone who has a trauma history can be uniquely challenging at times. In many cases, individuals who experience trauma may behave in ways that are hard for their partner to understand. They may experience panic attacks, express distrust, escalate quickly to anger, or become disengaged.
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Is trauma bonding real?

Trauma bonding is a human emotional response, not a character flaw, and it can occur within abusive cycles to anyone. Disclosing your experience may provide you with a sense of relief once you see how empathetic those around you are about it.
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How does trauma affect intimacy?

Trauma can make it extremely difficult to maintain relationships as it forces us to constantly remain in 'fight or flight' mode. Feeling constantly on edge and that you need to be on high alert at all times makes it extremely difficult to trust another person.
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What is trauma dumping?

This is what experts call trauma dumping. Unlike venting, trauma dumping is done in an "unsolicited, unprepared way, where a person dumps traumatic thoughts, feelings, energy onto an unsuspecting person," whether it be a close friend or a stranger on social media.
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How does a traumatized person act?

Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
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What are the red flags of trauma bonding?

Signs of Trauma Bonding

You deny the abuse and justify it as being your fault, you may believe you deserve it. You feel a powerful bond that stops you from seeing the person's actual behaviour. You make excuses for your partner's behaviour. You do not believe the threats; e.g. you think they're just venting.
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How do I know if I am traumatized?

Intrusive memories

Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
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Do narcissists feel the trauma bond?

Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.
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What does love feel like realistically?

You feel like a complete individual

Both people are free to be their whole selves. Couples experience "true individuation and self-discovery" when they're truly in love, explains Carroll. In this way, you don't feel incomplete without them but rather that you're two whole people who work well as a team.
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What does being in love feel like?

You bounce between exhilaration, euphoria, increased energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, trembling, a racing heart and accelerated breathing, as well as anxiety, panic and feelings of despair when your relationship suffers even the smallest setback.
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