What it's like being married to someone with BPD?

The effects of BPD are most severe in intimate relationships. The spousal relationship is perhaps the most intimate of all. This is because individuals with BPD tend to suffer painful feelings of emptiness almost all the time. They desperately seek out others to make them feel whole.
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Can you be married to someone with borderline personality disorder?

Many different kinds of close relationships are affected by borderline personality disorder (BPD), but perhaps none more than being married to a person with BPD. More specifically, marriages in which either one or both partners have BPD can be very tumultuous, conflict-laden, and dysfunctional.
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How does BPD affect marriage?

One minute the person with BPD may idealize their partner and feel very close to him or her and the next, the person with BPD can get angry and put down his or her partner whether the partner did something wrong or failed to do something desired.
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Can people with BPD have successful marriages?

“Clinicians should know that people with BPD can successfully marry or live with a partner in a stable relationship and become parents.
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What is it like being married to a man with borderline personality disorder?

Living with someone with BPD is tremendously stressful and can combine a sense both of being held hostage and of being about to be abandoned. At the same time as feeling desperately needed by your partner, you may also feel resented, threatened or even hated by them.
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What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like



Should I divorce my BPD spouse?

A divorce could be one of the most invalidating experiences for someone with BPD who just wants to avoid that abandonment that they have feared for years. It's going to impact their condition. Of course, to prevent this, people dealing with BPD should make sure that they have an appropriate treatment plan in place.
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Should I leave my BPD husband?

Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.
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How do BPD feel after breakup?

People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
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Why do BPD end relationships?

BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
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Who are BPD attracted to?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
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Is hypersexuality a symptom of BPD?

As a symptom

Some people with borderline personality disorder (sometimes referred to as BPD) can be markedly impulsive, seductive, and extremely sexual. Sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality are very common symptoms for both men and women with BPD.
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Is it worth dating someone with BPD?

Anyone living with BPD can still lead satisfying lives and take pleasure in long-term relationships and even life partnerships. With the proper treatment and support, people with BPD can and do have healthy and happy relationships.
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Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
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What is it like living with someone with BPD?

People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment. As a result, they have problems being alone. The condition is also known for anger, mood swings, and impulsiveness. These qualities can dissuade people from being around someone with BPD.
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What does it feel like to date someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors which can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
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Do borderlines fall in love easily?

People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground.
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Why is it hard to leave a borderline?

People who live with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have a hard time regulating their emotions, which can be very intense, and handling stress. This can lead them to lash out at the people in their lives.
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How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

Loving Someone With BPD — Can They Love You Back?
  1. The person quickly feeling smothered.
  2. Sudden withdrawal.
  3. Fear of intimacy.
  4. Frequent lying.
  5. Impulsive and aggressive sexuality.
  6. Public outbursts and arguments.
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Do BPD dumpers come back?

Some BPDs come back and do the recycle thing and some are gone for ever. They are not predictable. In time your longing for her will subside and in even more time you won't want this.
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When should you leave someone with BPD?

When to Leave Someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
  • Evaluate Your Own Mental Health. ...
  • Understanding Your Role as a Partner, Not a Therapist. ...
  • Options Before Leaving. ...
  • Making a Decision to Leave. ...
  • Facing Guilt after Leaving.
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How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.
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Can a BPD relationship last?

Despite its many challenges, the prognosis for BPD is good. This means that while most people with BPD do experience residual symptoms even after time and treatment, in the long term, recovery and healthy relationships are possible.
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Do borderlines feel remorse?

Often it seems as though there is no remorse or regret when someone with borderline intentionally, or unintentionally, hurt someone they love. They say cruel things, act in cruel ways, and can cause real harm to themselves or to others. When called on it, they will act with little remorse or regret.
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Can someone with BPD ever be happy?

This person says it exactly right — people with BPD have very intense emotions that can last from a few hours to even a few days, and can change very quickly. For example, we can go from feeling very happy to suddenly feeling very low and sad.
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What happens if you leave someone with BPD?

Individuals with symptoms of borderline personality disorder may experience great pain when their romantic partners leave them. If you are breaking up with someone with BPD, being compassionate and gentle will benefit both you and your loved one. Blame and defensiveness is best avoided when breaking up a relationship.
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