What flying monkeys do for narcissists?

Flying monkeys are people who actively participate in a narcissist's smear campaign. The goal of the campaign is to destroy the target's reputation. Flying monkeys carry out much of the narcissist's dirty work, allowing the narc to keep their hands clean.
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Why do narcissists use flying monkeys?

Narcissists love having at least one flying monkey, as it makes them feel important and means they can appear to be above the people below them (on both sides) who are caught up in the messy parts of the drama.
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How do narcissists recruit flying monkeys?

They recruit through contacting family members, friends, work colleagues. Sometimes even threaten the victim – 'I'm going to tell them what you're really like! ' – in other words, I'm going to tell them a version of you that is really not accurate at all but paints you in a bad light.
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Do flying monkeys apologize?

As a general rule, flying monkeys support the narcissist, they try to manipulate the victim into reconciling with the narcissist, flying monkeys apologize for the narcissist, they participate in the narcissist's smear campaign of the victim, and if needed, they help dismantle the no contact method.
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What do the flying monkeys represent?

According to some writers, the Winged Monkeys of Oz represent Native Americans in the West in the late 1800s. Baum himself had clear attitudes toward American Indians and some of his earlier writings about Indians are very similar to his descriptions of the Winged Monkeys found in Oz.
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Narcissists' Flying Monkeys | Motive



What are flying monkeys in psychology?

When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
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Do flying monkeys ever see truth?

Eventually flying monkeys will see the truth because they're simply a tool a narcissist uses to temporarily protect their fragile ego. Once the flying monkey has served their purpose, the narcissist will discard them as they do everyone else.
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Do narcissist discard flying monkeys?

With no loyalty for anyone, the narcissist easily discards the flying monkeys when they have done the damage intended. There are two general types of flying monkeys – 'complicit and willing' (conspirator) and 'well-meaning dupes' (deluded).
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How do you know if someone is a flying monkey?

Flying monkeys often have strong narcissistic traits themselves, including a desire for attention, a lack of empathy, and a desire to bully and manipulate others.
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How do you confront a flying monkey?

This strategy can be used with both the narcissist and their flying monkeys. Show them all the personality of a grey rock. Give one-word answers like “Yeah” or short answers like “I'm doing OK.” Don't share anything that is going on in your life. Responses should be completely emotionless.
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Why do narcissists spread rumors?

They have to be right about everything and their “truth” must be adopted by others. In addition, because of their inability to empathize with others and the fact they don't feel responsible of their actions, they can easily tell lies that may seem extremely unreal to you and twist the truth.
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How do you get rid of flying monkeys?

The best way to get rid of a flying monkey is to run their comments through a filter of truth, educate them if you can, and always refuse to play their games.
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How are flying monkeys recruited?

Narcissists are able to recruit flying monkeys because of the negative impact the abuse has on a victim's perceived credibility. A narcissist's interchangeable identity makes the lies, rumors, and gossip they spread to sabotage the victim's public image much more believable.
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What are the root causes of narcissism?

Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:
  • Environment ― mismatches in parent-child relationships with either excessive adoration or excessive criticism that is poorly attuned to the child's experience.
  • Genetics ― inherited characteristics.
  • Neurobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking.
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How do you gray rock a narcissist?

How to use the grey rock method
  1. Stay neutral and disengaged.
  2. Don't give them your attention.
  3. Keep interactions short and sweet.
  4. Don't give away personal information.
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Why do narcissists triangulate?

By bringing in a third person to agree with them and make the other person look wrong, it increases their sense of “rightness” and superiority over the other person. Triangulation also is a way for narcissists to gain attention, particularly when they're in the “victim” role.
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How do I turn the flying monkeys against the narcissist?

How to fend off narcissistic flying monkeys
  1. Hold on to your own reality. ...
  2. Invite some non-gaslighters into your life. ...
  3. Disengage from the narcissist and their enablers or flying monkeys. ...
  4. Consider therapy. ...
  5. Stop giving the benefit of the doubt and the second chances.
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Why are narcissists targeted?

"They get targeted if they are in good shape, they exercise a lot, and take care of their appearance. I've also seen people specifically targeted if they are of a religious faith, then the person either tries to get them to do things that go against their faith principles, or somehow break [them] down."
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How do you react to narcissistic triangulation?

How to respond
  1. Have a direct conversation. Pulling triangulation out into the light can be tough, particularly when you dislike any type of conflict and the other person seems to want to purposefully undermine you or treat you poorly. ...
  2. Establish your own support. ...
  3. Set boundaries.
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Are flying monkeys innocent?

Flying monkeys may believe themselves to be peacemakers and innocent of doing any kind of wrong. They think they are listening to all sides and being neutral despite the great joy they get from spreading lies and gossip on behalf of the narcissist.
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Why do enablers enable narcissist?

Typically a narcissist manipulates an enabler through alternating abuse and special treatment. The enabler falls into a pattern of avoiding attack while also seeking rewards such as affection, praise, sex, or money.
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Why do narcs smear?

The narcissist began the smear campaign to rile your emotions up and get you to act out an emotional outburst — which would vindicate their view. Even if such an outburst is justified — as it almost always is when in response to the tactics of emotional manipulators — other people won't see it that way.
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How do you beat a narcissist smear campaign?

How to Deal with Narcissistic Attacks
  1. Remember why you left the relationship in the first place. You were devalued and discarded. ...
  2. Resist the urge to defend yourself. While this may be easier said than done, it is an important concept. ...
  3. Make a preemptive strike. ...
  4. Spend your time well.
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How do you get narcissistic supply?

To be admired and to get their supply, narcissists employ various strategies, including impression management. They ingratiate themselves using their charm, emotional intelligence, bragging, seduction, and manipulation. Receiving attention and admiration boosts their weak self and lack of self-esteem.
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What is hoovering by a narcissist?

Coined after the Hoover vacuum, hoovering is a calculating scheme commonly used by narcissists to "suck" you up into their orbit and get you back into their life. It's an energetically draining dynamic that perpetuates a toxic pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discardment.
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