Is telling someone to calm down gaslighting?

Women who argue with men are often told to “calm down” simply because they're expressing themselves. This gaslighting term, used in one form or another around the world, often acts as a quick phrase meant to brush off women's ideas and opinions, and reduce them to irrational hysterics.
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Is telling someone to calm down condescending?

To the person receiving those words, “calm down” the tone come across as condescending. Even if you try to sound very subdued and matter-of-fact. If you're the person saying “calm down” to someone who's visibly upset or distraught, you're subtly acting as if you have the upper hand.
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What does it mean when someone tells you to calm down?

Uh, because if someone with anxiety or an actual issue they're “freaking out” about, being told to calm down implies that it's their fault they feel that way or that they're totally out of line for speaking up or being upset. It's like you're being told that you can't control your feelings, when you totally can.
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Why shouldn't you tell a woman to calm down?

So when you tell her to relax, you're implying that your response—i.e., nothing—is correct. You're denying that there's a reason to be upset. You're telling her she's crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.
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Why does telling someone to calm down make them angrier?

' Makes sense. If someone's telling us to chill out instead of responding to what we're saying, it's likely to feel like we're not actually being listened to, and that our thoughts and feelings are being ignored.
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When Telling Someone 'Calm Down!' Has Reverse Effect



Is telling someone to relax rude?

It's insulting to be told to calm down, and it's okay to let the perpetrator know that. Tell them, "Please do not tell me to calm down.
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How do you tell someone to calm down without saying calm down?

5 More Helpful Things to Say Than "Calm Down"
  1. "I understand this is upsetting." ...
  2. "It's hard for me to talk with you when things feel this intense." ...
  3. "I am going to pause for a moment to slow things down." ...
  4. "I'm here with you in this." ...
  5. "How can I help us move through this?"
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Should you ever tell your girlfriend to calm down?

It insinuates she's crazy.

By telling a woman to relax, you are basically telling her that the way she is feeling is unjustified. You're saying the way she feels is completely wrong and that the situation at hand far from merits this reaction.
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How do you politely tell someone to calm down?

“Calm down.” “Just relax.” “Don't worry about it.” “Stop stressing out.” “It will be fine.” “Don't get so upset.” We have all probably been told these phrases, or something similar, by another person when we were angry, anxious, or stressed.
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Why does my husband always tell me to calm down?

“They may not be comfortable with how emotional your reactions are,” she explains. This could be because they express themselves differently than you emotionally (for example, by shutting down or getting quiet when they're upset). Or, it could be because they've noticed a shift in how often you're getting worked up.
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What to say when someone tells me to calm down?

Being told to 'calm down': How should you respond?
  1. Don't respond. ...
  2. Tell them, 'I'll calm down when you smarten up/answer the question/do your job. ...
  3. Tell them, 'If you think this is me fired up, I suggest you don't stick around to see my 'un calm' response.
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Why you should never tell someone to get over it?

The insinuation is both rude and insulting. When you tell someone to “get over it,” you tell them that their emotions are not worth having, that they're invalid. Moreover, a person told to just “get over it” feels unheard, like no one is listening.
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What does it mean when someone tells you to loosen up?

Definition of 'loosen up'

If a person or situation loosens up, they become more relaxed and less tense. Relax, smile; loosen up in mind and body.
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How can you avoid confrontation with someone who is emotionally agitated?

Stay calm, stay safe, and don't make it worse.
  1. Ask Yourself if the Anger Is Justified. Sometimes anger is perfectly reasonable and it is always emotionally wise to consider the feelings of others during an interaction. ...
  2. Stay Calm (at Least on the Outside) ...
  3. Avoid Character Assaults. ...
  4. Know When to Disengage. ...
  5. Stay Safe.
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What should you not say to someone who is upset?

4 Things Not to Say When Someone Is Upset
  • [See: Am I Just Sad — or Actually Depressed?]
  • “It's not a big deal. ...
  • [See: 11 Simple, Proven Ways to Optimize Your Mental Health.]
  • “Just think positive.”
  • “Stop being so emotional (or sensitive or dramatic).”
  • [See: 8 Ways to Relax Now.]
  • “You need to be more rational.”
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Why do I get so angry when someone tells me what to do?

Experts call this feeling or need to rebel psychological reactance. It's your brain's reaction when you feel a threat to your freedom or think your choices are being limited. This response can make you feel annoyed, panicked or angry when rules or guidelines are put in place.
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How do you calm down someone who is angry at you?

be open to listening to what they have to say. keep your voice calm when they're upset. try to talk things through. acknowledge their distress but don't feel like you have to back down if you disagree - your opinion is important too.
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What are the signs of an angry person?

Some outward characteristics you might notice when you are angry include.
  • Raised voices.
  • Clenched fists.
  • Frowning or scowling.
  • A clenched jaw.
  • Physically trembling.
  • Rapid heartbeats.
  • Sweating excessively.
  • Pacing excessively.
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What is the psychology behind anger?

Anger is a negative feeling state that is typically associated with hostile thoughts, physiological arousal and maladaptive behaviors. It usually develops in response to the unwanted actions of another person who is perceived to be disrespectful, demeaning, threatening or neglectful.
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What are things you should never say to your girlfriend?

Top 10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Girlfriend
  • Preaching Her Not To Get Emotional. ...
  • Talking About How Much Money You “Really” Have & How You Handle It. ...
  • Relating Her Behavior To Her Hormonal Cycles. ...
  • Asking About Her Sexual Past Doesn't Help Anybody. ...
  • Commenting About Her Make-Up Free Look Just Isn't Cool Buddy.
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What can I say to a girl instead of calm down?

In addition, saying this can make her think you are minimizing or dismissing her feelings. Instead, try something like this: "I can see you're upset/frustrated/anxious... what can I do?" or "I can't make out what you're saying. Let's take a few deep breaths and start over".
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What to say to a girl to calm her down?

Tips to Calm Your Girlfriend Down When She is Mad or Hurt
  • Give Her Flowers. Flowers are believed to make people feel instantly happy. ...
  • Talk To Her. ...
  • Listen to Her. ...
  • A Hug Would be Nice. ...
  • Say Sorry with Gifts. ...
  • Treat Her. ...
  • Be Humorous.
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How do you help someone who is bitter?

How To Handle A Bitter Person
  1. Don't confide in them. This isn't the kind of person you should be sharing sensitive information with. ...
  2. Don't become their shoulder to cry on. ...
  3. Don't be rude, but don't agree. ...
  4. Talk to them about it.
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What does it mean to mellow out?

Definition of mellow out

US, informal. : to become relaxed and calm She mellowed out as she grew older. : to calm down You're getting all upset over nothing. You need to mellow out.
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What does it mean when someone calls me uptight?

The definition of uptight is someone who is very nervous, overly-controlled or who can't relax. A person at a party who is constantly looking around for signs of trouble, worrying about everything instead of enjoying himself, is an example of someone who would be described as uptight. adjective.
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