How do you deal with a vindictive person?

Coping with vindictiveness in your relationship
  1. Set boundaries. ...
  2. Vocalize your terms or boundaries. ...
  3. Don't second-guess yourself. ...
  4. Try not to internalize. ...
  5. Shelter from their anger. ...
  6. Develop a safety plan. ...
  7. Consider asking for help. ...
  8. Suggest they seek help.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com


What makes a person so vindictive?

A person described as vindictive is usually someone who holds a grudge and who always tries to get back at people who they think have wronged them in some way. Vindictive people retaliate against others for any insult or perceived slight. Vindictive people do not let things go.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on dictionary.com


What would be an example of vindictive behavior?

The problem comes when we have to deal with vindictive people in real life. In our daily lives, these behaviors aren't always understandable and can even generate fear. One example of this is the individual who doesn't accept a breakup and initiates threatening behavior against their partner.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on exploringyourmind.com


How do you handle spite?

Even if you're respectful when you address the situation, a spiteful person may not back down. If the other person remains hostile or negative, you need to be the bigger person. Do not resort to any negative tactics the person uses, such as yelling or name calling. Instead, remain calm and walk away if necessary.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on wikihow.com


Are Narcissists spiteful?

Those high in narcissism may use punishment as a form of covert aggression to assert social dominance. P's high in vulnerable narcissism favored more spiteful punishment regardless of self-threat. Grandiose narcissism was un-related to the endorsement of spiteful punishment.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on sciencedirect.com


The Vindictive Narcissist - Why They Want to Hurt you! SL Coaching



How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on thriveworks.com


How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:
  1. Lack of Attention.
  2. Doing something they don't like.
  3. Losing.
  4. Logic and Facts.
  5. Boundaries.
  6. Critical Thinking.
  7. Spontaneous Behavior.
  8. Someone else's Success.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on thenarcissisticlife.com


What causes spiteful behavior?

Spiteful behaviour is motivated by being hurt. When someone says something with malicious intent to hurt, to get their point across, they're being spiteful. That person won't think about the other person's reasoning behind why they say what they say, instead they will simply lash out.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on thecpdiary.com


How can you tell if someone is spiteful?

Toxic people: 7 signs a person is toxic
  1. You're left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them. ...
  2. They try to intimidate you to get their way. ...
  3. They try control you by guilt tripping. ...
  4. They are easily jealous. ...
  5. They constantly see themselves as a victim. ...
  6. They give backhanded compliments. ...
  7. They're overly defensive.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on redonline.co.uk


Why is spite so powerful?

Spite is defined as a typically petty desire to annoy, frustrate or humiliate another person. While that sounds negative, the motivation associated with spite can be powerful and useful. Embracing it as a motivator is possible, and doesn't have to be an inherently bad trait or experience.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on themaneater.com


What is a vindictive narcissist?

In other words, someone with vindictive narcissism may tend to feel extremely and permanently hurt by someone else's rejection, boundaries, or contradictory behavior. In turn, they may react intensely and with a need to counteract this perceived opponent.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on psychcentral.com


Why some people are so vengeful?

"People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status," he says. "They don't want to lose face." In his study, McKee surveyed 150 university students who answered questions about their attitudes toward revenge, authority and tradition, and group inequality.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on apa.org


What kind of person wants revenge?

The study, "Personality Correlates of Revenge-Seeking: Multidimensional Links to Physical Aggression, Impulsivity, and Aggressive Pleasure," found that sadism is the dominant personality trait that explains why certain people are more likely than others to seek vengeance.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on sciencedaily.com


What does revenge do to a person?

Even though the first few moments feel rewarding in the brain, psychological scientists have found that instead of quenching hostility, revenge prolongs the unpleasantness of the original offense. Instead of delivering justice, revenge often creates only a cycle of retaliation.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on scienceofpeople.com


Why are adults spiteful?

The results show that some people's personalities do make them more prone to spiteful behavior. Traits like aggressiveness and callousness closely linked to spite, while people who were more guilt-prone or conscientious were less vindictive.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on npr.org


Why are people so mean?

One of the most common reasons for meanness is due to emotional reaction. In such situations the person may just be reacting without thinking through the impact of their reaction. Therefore, often their focus may not be for the purpose of hurting someone else although it can be.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on excelatlife.com


What is a spiteful woman called?

Superstitions associated with this small mammal led people in the thirteenth century to use the word shrew to describe a spiteful person, male or female. The word later came to be used to describe a nagging, ill-tempered woman, as in William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on vocabulary.com


What does it mean when a person is spiteful?

Spiteful, revengeful, vindictive refer to a desire to inflict a wrong or injury on someone, usually in return for one received. Spiteful implies a mean or malicious desire for (often petty) revenge: a spiteful attitude toward a former friend.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on dictionary.com


What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

If you stand up to someone with a narcissistic personality, you can expect them to respond. Once you speak up and set boundaries, they may come back with some demands of their own. They may also try to manipulate you into feeling guilty or believing that you're the one being unreasonable and controlling.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on healthline.com


How do you humiliate a narcissist?

If you want to cut to a narcissist's emotional core, make them look bad in public. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and they'll fly into a narcissistic rage.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on thenarcissisticlife.com


How do you beat a narcissist at its own game?

Don't React to Their Abusive Tactics

Your reaction is exactly what they want. So, don't accept the narcissist's gaslighting phrases as your truth. They will try everything to demean and discredit you. Practice positive affirmations to undue blame and maintain healthy self-esteem.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on kaminiwood.com


What happens when a narcissist knows you figured them out?

When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on marriage.com


What happens when you ignore a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on upjourney.com


What to do when a narcissist is mad at you?

Here are 10 tips for when you're faced with narcissistic rage:
  1. Physically Distance Yourself. ...
  2. Establish Your Boundaries. ...
  3. Stay Calm. ...
  4. Don't Overreact to the Narcissist's Rage. ...
  5. Empathize With the Narcissist & Validate Their Viewpoint. ...
  6. Don't Raise Your Voice. ...
  7. Take a Break. ...
  8. Remember This Is Not About You.
Takedown request   |   View complete answer on choosingtherapy.com